Author: bomp123

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For the first time I was in lesbian company where we’d all felt the same but had not spoken up before

I used to attend lesbian conferences in Europe and in recent years (noticeable up to 2014 when I stopped) became more and more uncomfortable with lesbians taking testosterone and AGP’s (autogynaephilic) in lesbian space. A new breed of ‘queers’ had arrived, with coloured hair, anarchist views and aggressive stance.

In the end the first non trans lesbian conference was held in Amsterdam in 2013 I think, and for the first time I was in lesbian company where we’d all felt the same but had not spoken up before.

I joined Twitter and became aware of Maria Maclachlin’s assault. At that point I really started to take an interest as I had feared for a few years something similar might happen.

I am under my own name on Twitter and am vocal. Sometimes I get nasty comments but nothing serious. I am a little nervous but think I need to stand up.

II, Middle aged lesbian, I’ve seen and experienced a lot, but nothing like this

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Others

We have worked hard to get safe spaces

I care because women matter. We have worked hard to get safe spaces, to protect us from male violence, to have the right to single sex spaces. I have a daughter and I don’t want her sharing intimate settings with someone with male tendencies. Plus if a man wishes to present differently than society expects then good for him. Why should we insist on how women or men look or present. But that does not mean they change sex. They remain a man dressing as he pleases.

I share on social media. I’ve spoken to other women.

My voice has been quiet as I am afraid to speak out.

Steph, Mum of 2, mid forties

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Others

I spent a lot of my teens, in the 90s, thinking I was ‘born in the wrong body’ and a man

I’m autistic, I was diagnosed at 41. I spent a lot of my teens, in the 90s, thinking I was ‘born in the wrong body’ and a man, really, because I didn’t fit in, I didn’t see myself in other women, I think literally and in black and white (if I am not this one thing, I must be the other). 

It hurts me to think of autistic girls now feeling the same yet being encouraged to take a path of transition without being helped to understand themselves as autistic. 

Diagnosis rates for women and girls on the autistic spectrum remain very low; there may be significant numbers of undiagnosed girls heading for or in treatment.  I am deeply concerned by Olsen’s concept of ‘transing away autism’. Autism is a lifelong different way of being. To say it can be cured by transition does an enormous disservice to young people, who will still operate differently in the world after transition, and plays into a cure rhetoric which is deeply damaging for autistic people globally.

I have questioned on social media, led threads on a discussion board, answered surveys and written to my MP (Lisa Nandy, awaiting response). I feel guilty I do not do more but I get a lot of support from the online autistic community and am afraid of losing that.

I have been criticised on Twitter for ‘liking’ posts. 

SJD, Autistic woman

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Others

Every single one expressed concern and also fear /reluctance about speaking out

It feels like a step backwards in the fight for women’s rights. We need safe spaces. We are harassed from a young age. We are oppressed from a young age. We have to constantly work to get what men have easily. To open up access to womens rights to anyone declaring themselves as women, is to redefine the meaning of women and to dismiss and undermine our oppression, our needs, our history

I’ve spoken to women in my family ages 15 to 85 to find their thoughts. Every single one expressed concern and also fear /reluctance about speaking out.

I’ve raised the issue in local political party and with close colleagues.

I’ve posted on social media  – initially to defend transexual women, then to enquire about this new definition of trans and then to speak out strongly against it.

I’ve been called a bigot, right wing, terf and added to block lists on social media.

I’ve had my photograph taken at a demo by a man I do not know who did not introduce himself or request the photo. The photo was one of several posted on social media with comments calling women in it terfs and bigots.

c, Woman from Glasgow

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trans familiy

I have concerns since my sibling transitioned from ftm

I have concerns since my sibling transitioned from ftm (female to male).

I have not stated my feelings as I feel I would be targeted.

No negative consequences currently, as I have carefully avoided this.

Sophie , Adult human female

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Private sector

I’m no longer welcome in most LGBTQ circles/groups

This matters to me because I’m a lesbian who thinks males literally can’t be lesbians so I’m no longer welcome in most LGBTQ circles/groups. I care because sex being superseded by gender is harmful to women in too many ways to go into in this short paragraph! Women’s sport, vulnerable women’s safety, data collection and adequate provision of services, and women being able to speak the truth about their reality are all negatively affected by gender identity dogma and ‘trans women are women.’

I have not done as much as I should have done! So far it’s just been conversations with friends and acquaintances trying to raise awareness, online discussions, and writing to politicians. I’d hoped to attend a rally in March but didn’t go because of Covid19.

I have experienced very few negative consequences, comparatively. It has made some friendships very difficult, but as yet not ended them. My work is thankfully unaffected, as I work in a tiny forestry co-operative with a small number of sympathetic men. The main negative personally is my alienation from the LGBT community and organisations who will brook no dissent, and alienation from Labour/Green circles.

Helen

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Parent

This matters to me for my daughters’ safety

This matters to me for my daughters’ safety.

I have mainly leafletted my local area (on the GRA consultation and against the lib dems in the election) and spoken to a few friends

I choose safe activities – either anonymous or with people I trust.

Anna, Mum and Londoner

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Others

Trans man who won’t be belittled by the masses

As a trans man I feel like I have responsibility to show what we can be and not how we are portrayed in the media and on social media where a mockery is being made by self ID even being considered as anything other than pandering to a vocal militia.

I have become more vocal on social media and find myself wanting to peruse my doctorate in order to contribute to the research that needs done.

I have been harassed and accused of unsavoury things.

Kjp, Trans man who won’t be belittled by the masses

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Healthcare Private sector

I don’t look like many women I know

I am a woman. I don’t look like many women I know. I am 5ft tall, AAA bust, short hair, don’t wear make up, am ordinary and I can be who I want. I was born in the 70s and in the 80s I could be who I wanted to be with a shaved head in a greatcoat and army boots. I was still a young woman and had relationships with young men.

My sister is 3 years young than me and was a tomboy and known as Steve for several years. She is now a happily partnered lesbian – thank goodness.

Teenagers need to know that they can be who they want and that struggle in life is normal – not a pathology. I have 4 children and the thought of any of them being told they should have surgery to identify as something is abhorrent to me. I have adult sons who have managed risks of knife crime and drunken idiocy so far ok.

My daughters are teens and they need to know the support of women and also know that the truth matters. If they think someone is a man they should be able to say so, not be forced to lie and tolerate a man in a space where I hope they aren’t at risk from men who upskirt, spy in changing rooms and generally perv over young girls – and now being able to do so in the open as transwomen.

My life in the body of a woman has been rocked by menopause and this has made me more aware of the effect of hormones on my body than pregnancy.

I refuse to believe or accept that a man can be a woman and it pains me that girls feel they can’t be women.

I created a new Twitter account to keep this thinking separate from my business. I also have a blog where I rant. I keep talking to my children about these issues but my 17yo already considers me to be a TERF.

I remain silent on these issues in my business environment. I voted Leave too so….

Rachel , An adult human female

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Private sector

No dissent is allowed especially in corporate workplaces

I care because as a lesbian I fear that young lesbians are being pushed down the path of trans rather than being encouraged to be happy in their own bodies. I feel this ideology has been pushed through with no debate and no dissent is allowed especially in corporate workplaces.

I tried to make point on my work internal social media platform but was shot down.

Discowings, working class lesbian living in South London