Category: trans familiy

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trans familiy

I offered what support I felt capable of, but it wasn’t enough for him

This matters to me because I have watched transgender ideology push their demands wider, from just wanting to pee to being a woman, meaning adult human female. I cannot not believe in biological sex, and it is the most sensible way to separate people.

I have joined Twitter as an anonymous writer so that I can push against the worst trans activists.

I have joined a local women’s group and will attend demonstrations etc with them when I can.

My extended family have cut back contact with me. This is because I have a brother who abused me as a child who has transed and I cannot support his full demands to be seen as a biological woman. I offered what support I felt capable of, but it wasn’t enough for him.

He refuses to explain why he feels he is a woman, and refuses to.engage in talking about our childhood.

J, Mother, woman and apolitical thinker.

Categories
Media and Arts trans familiy

Seeing her young daughter being compelled to call her dad is one of the worst abuses of power I’ve witnessed

I feel that my niece’s interests weren’t served by becoming absorbed by the gender movement. It hasn’t helped her development as a person and she has made no progress in dealing with her problems and becoming a self sufficient person. Seeing her young daughter being compelled to call her dad is one of the worst abuses of power I’ve witnessed.

I find the dogma around the ideology threatening. I don’t think we have much to hold onto in life except facts and the truth. I want to be able to speak and hear the truth.

I also do not appreciate being asked to pretend that male violence doesn’t exist, just to make men feel relieved at not having to deal with their problems.

I also liked the Liberation part of Women’s liberation, I liked feeling free. Everything now indicates that women ought not to expect that anymore, almost as if there was a mistake and we all got a wrong message, and our desires, thoughts and creations must be suppressed once more.

In professional settings I have spoken about my anger at political parties’ anti-women stances. I have spoken about the betrayal I felt at seeing accomplished and prominent women saying things to the detriment of other women, for their own personal political gain. I’ve brought up the homophobic and misogynistic message promoted by the movement and have been shunned even by my best friends who are gay.

I’ve identified myself as a female centred feminist and tried to spread that notion.

My livelihood has been threatened. I have been informed that my international agents will not be able to be associated with me if I share my views any further.

I have had two important commissions withdrawn because my views could apparently make young people feel unsafe.

I’ve been informed multiple times that I should be learning from these young people, but not because they are gifted and intelligent. It’s as if I need instruction by some red guard and I find this frightening.

I am aware that my contemporaries will not now promote or include me in ongoing or new projects. It has left me cut off and isolated and wondering how I can move forward in such an oppressive and fanciful intellectual environment.

Another negative consequence is that I feel hardened and wary, and this mindset is not conducive to creative life.

C, creative industries

Categories
Parent trans familiy

My daughter is transgender

My daughter is transgender.

I founded Our Duty, joined in with Fair Cop and others.

Too many negative consequences to list. The biggest, I guess, is not being able to work in my usual field.

Keith , Co-founder, Our Duty

Categories
Healthcare trans familiy Voluntary sector

My sister is transitioning into a transman

I care as a woman who has been raped about maintaining safe spaces for women. I care as the mother of a girl that she will be able to fully participate in sports without being edged out by a man who was subpar against other men. I care because my sister is transitioning into a transman and I feel that she, as someone who has struggled with mental health since early teens was taken advantage of by online pressure groups and a medical system hell bent on capitalising on her pain.

I have released videos on twitter, spoken out on twitter and in person and most of all I helped found a new political party that is for Scottish independence and also pro women’s rights (Independence for Scotland Party) @IndyScotParty

I have been called a terf by my own sibling. It has caused immense pain and difficulty in my family. I have had death threats. I am contemplating moving out of the country for the safety of my children so I can continue my advocating but keep them safe from those who may do me or us harm.

V, Mum of 4, adult human female

Categories
Healthcare trans familiy

They do not know about the men demanding to shower with woman and girls in their changing rooms

In addition to the natural fairness, and women’s entitlement to their own safe spaces, my niece was inculcated into the trans cult -she is lesbian, on the autism spectrum and spent 2+ years in therapy before deciding not to go down the transmen route and has instead become a non-binary pan-sexual lesbian.  Tranns-children is child abuse, pure and simple.

I’ve just done social media stuff.  Mainly Twitter.  Tried on FB, but most people do not want to listen and still assume trans is akin to gay/lesbian and is not relevant to their lives or their children’s lives.  They do not know about the men demanding to shower with woman and girls in their changing rooms or demanding access to female only safe spaces.

I have been blocked or unfriended on social media.

Paul M, Luddite IT developer

Categories
Healthcare Parent trans familiy

Strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story

I care because my 12 year old daughter announced she is trans and is socially transitioning 11 months ago. I care because strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story. I care because my 12 year old daughter has been asking to go on hormone blockers before puberty because they’re safe. I care because it feels like my daughter is being taken away from me.

It was very clear to me from the beginning that raising my voice in any visible way would very quickly lead to being cast as transphobic and bigoted, someone to be excluded and worked around. I have spent months looking to understand what is going on, how the machine works. I have learnt that as a parent I am up against YouTube with adults selling the transgender story to my daughter. I am up against a local LGBTU+ youth charity tutoring my daughter privately on the transgender story. I am up against the NHS with their services to process the transgender story. I am up against my daughter’s school who are validating and authenticating the transgender story, and I am up against my ex wife who affirms the transgender story.

The transgender story is just that, it’s a story. Someone has made it up. There’s no science, there’s no law. But it’s story that is consuming children, women and parents to provide evidence the story is real, that it’s not a story. It’s as big a story as creationism, as big a story as Father Christmas.

The machine is literally just that, a machine, at its core it’s just a defined pathway of tick boxes to account for and ultimately protect institutional decisions. Its purpose is to provide a group of adults with validation the story they made up is real, based on children lives. The machine’s existence in this country is an outcome of institutional neglect and cowardice, my disbelief has no bounds.

Raising my voice means a number of things. Being the best possible dad I can be, be more available and listen more. Keeping close to the YouTube algorithm to see what’s being pushed to my daughter. Making it clear that the LGBTQ+ youth charity does not have my parental permission to continue time with my daughter. Telling the GP that I do not support a referral to Tavistock that my ex-wife organised. Opening up a private psychotherapy route to support our daughter with her development in a professional and open minded way. I haven’t worked out how to deal with the school. The school are more detached, their motives and use of safeguarding best practice and resources on any topic is hugely fragmented and difficult to work with.

I have benefited from the bravery of Keira Bell, and many women, teenage girls and a few men willing to put themselves on the front line of extreme personal aggression to bring this story to the attention of many people. I cannot effectively express my gratitude enough, their work is having an immediate and direct effect on offering protection for my daughter from the machine.

I have benefited from the recent political interest their work has generated, and I have benefited from Covid19 that has put a huge brake on the machine.

I contribute financially to support mumsnet in the face of the realities of #nodebate, I support crowd funding legal cases as they appear. I would like to spend more time working 121 with other parents but I don’t have the reserves of energy yet for this.

I have been called transphobic, bigoted and verbally abused for questioning the machine, questioning the story. Asking questions like what’s the rush, why does this have to happen so fast? Exactly when does professional child psychotherapy actually happen to take a look at a gently bumpy childhood? How can a LGBTU+ youth charity with no child professional qualification have such free and protected access, and influence, over a child’s life choices? Which school roles, what qualifications and what criteria do they follow to bypass my parental authority at the school? Why does social transitioning need to delete a child’s history?

I have been very careful about how and when to visibly raise my voice. I am in a fragile position where my daughter has been well tutored with the transgender story, and unqualified people have the authority to transact the transgender story without my parental authority. The natural outcome will be to reduce my role in her life to being an absent father who’s principle purpose is to provide money. That popular, age old stereotypical man we thought we’d lost many years ago.

When I did choose to raise my voice with the LGBTU+ youth charity not having my parental permission to continue their time with my daughter, my daughter attempted to work around me with the school to continue. An action the school had coached her to follow if this happened, based on the trans inclusion policy they follow. I got lucky with Covid19. The impact over the last eight months, has been massive. I have lived a life of sole dedication to this topic, it is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. This has been much, much harder to handle than our divorce, the stress has been monumental.

A dad

Categories
trans familiy

I have concerns since my sibling transitioned from ftm

I have concerns since my sibling transitioned from ftm (female to male).

I have not stated my feelings as I feel I would be targeted.

No negative consequences currently, as I have carefully avoided this.

Sophie , Adult human female

Categories
Students survivor trans familiy

Now I’m going to try and be as strong again

My ex had autogynophilic tendencies and used this as part of decades of domestic abuse including sexual.   After being told that he was most likely a malignant narcissist with psychopathic tendencies i started to see parallels with  TRA attacks that I’d started to see happen.

He had enforced language changed etc from very early on in the relationship. and I was loving and accommodating and realised how easy it would have been for me.to be a trans widow.

Additionally I saw 2 young women transition after   bullying/sexual assault and they seemed like classic ROGD  and the thought of them probaby desisting after being blithely transed and irreparably altered  horrified me.

I have  spoken to.people irl (in real life) ,  started speaking up online,  gone to a demo, started being more active in feminist circles.

I’ve been considered hateful.  I’ve feared being too visible as I am still.a cptsd sufferer dealing with years of traumatic sexual and other abuse but I’ve  been more  brave since jk Rowling’s first tweets.  I’ve started liking things. and today I have been retweeting and liking loads of things.  Before the abuse I was a whistle blower and stood up for others and now I’m going to try and be as strong again.

Marina, I stand with JK Rowling

Categories
Academics and researchers trans familiy

My brother wants to transition to be my sister. In the beginning we were all supportive

This matters to me because my brother wants to transition to be my sister.  In the beginning we were all supportive – even my elderly parents . This period lasted two years and then as we began to learn more and question (especially me about women’s rights) my sibling grew aggressive.

Our refusal as a family to be bullied into thinking and accepting his normality without question led to huge rows and now he does not speak to us. 

Worse, he has given very personal information about me to my ex husband (my marriage was one of coercive control) and he is using this to destroy me financially and professionally (I’m an academic).

I joined Groups on Facebook & Twitter and tried to educate myself in the issues.

Financially and as a family – My work is at risk from being named.

NS, Academic and feminist

Categories
Education survivor trans familiy

If we cannot name our oppression, we cannot fight it

This feels like such an important issue for me for several reasons.

I have personally experienced the ways in which trans identifying males entering female only spaces completely changes the dynamic, effectively silencing female voices, even when the purpose of the space has been designed precisely to elevate women’s voices.

I see the violence and hostility directed at women for wanting to talk about our sex based rights as yet another iteration of male aggression, entitlement and dominance. Furthermore, I can foresee the long-term consequences of allowing gender ideology to supplant biological sex as effectively undoing all of the work of the women’s movement of the last century. If we cannot name our oppression, we cannot fight it.

Initially, I started posting articles and my own opinions on this issue on social media. I have also attended several events and protests that have sought to highlight or discuss this issue. I have also attended meetings for women only with a similar purpose. I have had private discussions offline with friends and family. And finally, I chaired a meeting on the sex based rights of women and girls.

Personally, I have lost several friends over this issue, or experienced others distancing themselves from me over it. I have also had disagreements with family members.

It has been scary, as a survivor of male violence including family violence, and having ptsd symptoms associated with it, to be confronted with shouting and aggressive posturing from masked individuals at the protests and meetings I have attended.

It has made me feel incredibly ‘unsafe’. It has also been unpleasant to be accused of bigotry, transphobia or branded a terf in online spaces. Lastly, my teenage niece is talking about her desire to transition, and this has adversely affected my relationship with her, and caused deep grief and stress to herself and other members of my family at a very uncertain time.

Jo , Concerned auntie, educator and advocate for women and girls