Author: bomp123

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Healthcare Others

That much of this bile comes from people I’m usually politically aligned with saddens me

I’ve had a long-standing interest in women’s rights because my mother was a staunch advocate for women and active locally in helping those in difficulty. I saw a lot of this while growing up and it had a profound influence on me. To see women now being dismissed as hateful bigots for wanting to protect their hard-won rights and protections is deeply troubling to me and that much of this bile comes from people I’m usually politically aligned with saddens me.

I discuss it with friends and family and I post on social media but aside from that I haven’t attended and organised meetings or anything of that nature.

One of the perks of being entirely unsuccessful career-wise is that nobody where I work could care less about my opinions.

I’ve had a frank discussion with one of my very dearest female friends whose stepson is now identifying as a woman. I was nervous about talking this through with her but in the end she was very receptive to what I said and we remain friends.

A scared feminist mother, I care because the fight for women’s rights has been brutal and hard and we are not there yet. The GRA / Trans movement is stripping away what we have fought for. We need safe spaces for women, and we need to acknowledge that sex is a protected characteristic. I am terrified for all women in hospitals, prisons, shelters, public toilets etc who may find themselves next to a biological man – regardless of whether that man is predatory. I’m scared for my children, and all the children out there being told that because they don’t like pink and barbies maybe they are actually a boy, and perhaps they would like hormone suppressants? Fuck.

Unfortunately I have done nothing… I have only spoken with my mum and sister about this. And please know, I have spent my adult life being vocal on important and challenging topics, attending rallies, encouraging education and conversation. But this feels different. I feel in danger to speak up due to how toxic the conversation is, how easily people are fired and targeted personally. Just walking past the protesters at the 2020 women’s place uk conference with my baby in a sling was terrifying. I’ve never felt that rage before from people with opposing views.

MT

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Parent

I find that ‘I’m on the wrong side of history’ by believing that sex exists (always) and matters (sometimes)

I’m a feminist. I abhor sex sterotyping. I abhor bullying of those that trangress the boundaries of gender. I take pains to raise my boy without the constraints of sex-based expectations. Yet I find that ‘I’m on the wrong side of history’ by believing that sex exists (always) and matters (sometimes). I see young men and women seeking medical transition as the only way out of the narrow pathways that a patriarchal society offers. I see them accepting stereotypes and doing violence to their own bodies. I don’t want this for any person.

Feminism gave me a way to understand the world and challenge what was wrong in it and a way to learn about my sex and ultimately accept it. I was lucky.

I finally had a conversation with my child’s headteacher (after seeing that a reference to ‘gender identity’ had been made in a letter to parents). I followed this up with a letter explaining my concerns plus materials from TransgenderTrend. I’ve also started talking to another concerned parent (after delicately talking around the issue for a while).

On the work front, I backed up a colleague when he was challenged for changing a reference to ‘Gender. Male/Female’ in a paper to ‘Sex. Male/Female’. Long, painful conversations with younger colleagues ensued.

(Their view being: it’s icky, offensive and potentially transphobic to mention sex.) The matter has never been resolved.

Sharing gender critical thoughts with family and friends led to allegations of siding with transphobes and being backward thinking. Ultimately a friendship was almost lost. At work, I feel I’ve effectively outed myself as someone who might not be trusted to ‘care’ about trans people. (On the contrary, I care deeply about those who don’t fit into stereotypical gender categories: I just don’t want them to harm their bodies. And I want us all to focus our energy on introducing male-bodied people to their feminine sides.)

Kate

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Others

I care about the safety, privacy and dignity of women and girls

I care about the safety, privacy and dignity of women and girls.

I’ve spoken out (anonymously) on social media and written blog articles.

I’ve stayed anonymous so have not had any negative consequences in real life.

SamGfree

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Private sector

I was interviewed by my employer’s HR department after a colleague reported me to them for breaching social media policy

I care because we fought for women’s rights for too long to simply give them up to any man who says he’s a woman.  Womanhood is not a costume, it’s a biological state, and we would be wrong if we ignored that reality.

I have shared posts on Facebook, I have tweeted, I have attended feminist events, I have spoken out to friends and colleagues in real life. I have contributed to fund raisers and emailed parliamentary candidates. I still don’t feel as though I have done enough.

I was interviewed by my employer’s HR department after a colleague (I cannot say friend) reported me to them for breaching social media policy. My crime was to share a Standing For Women post on facebook and have a constructive discussion about it. My employer took no action, but it was not a fun experience, and this has prevented me from being as vocal as I would like to be. I am not proud of myself for that.

A, Barnsley feminist

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Healthcare Parent

I see parents pushing it on their children

This concerns me because I see parents pushing it on their children. I have a daughter. I don’t want women oppressed even more because of men’s feelings.

Pam, GC feminist

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Others

I want my daughter to live in a world without such nonsense

This matters to me because othering GNC (gender non conforming) men and women as non-men and non-women feels hateful. Because I want my daughter to live in a world without such nonsense. Because I won’t lie or be lied to.

I’ve got in pointless arguments on reddit and twitter, contributed to crowdfunders, written to MPs (including support for those I think are doing well on this issue), fed back to the Labour policy / manifesto process.

I’ve been kicked off & banned from a few reddits and unofficial Labour discord server. Unfollowed on social media by a couple of IRL friends.

Dave

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Healthcare Others

I have a trans-identifying man (transwoman) in my extended family who is aggressive towards women

. The majority of our family are convinced our relative is only ‘lashing out’ because he is ‘oppressed’. (I used to be happy to use his preferred pronouns, but since his harassment of me and violent threats made to other women, I no longer extend him that courtesy.) This has been easy for him to achieve because there is so much propaganda that he can access from lobbying groups, from newspapers, from television companies.

He is over 6 foot tall, young and healthy, and I and some others of the women in my family are scared of his aggression. Currently, I feel unable to report the harassment from him to the police, as I’ve read reports of how police treat women who report these aggressive men.

I also know that his immediate family would be likely to seek revenge whether or not the police took it seriously.

I’ve had to stop speaking publicly in my real name on social media about many issues because I fear that the harassment from him will escalate into direct violence against me and my children. Even when I ‘liked’ a post about women’s rights on Facebook, that resulted in a day or two of abusive messages.

I’m branded as ‘transphobic’ because I fear this individual who happens to call himself trans. He was aggressive towards women before he started telling people he was trans, so I consider this fear to be rational. There’s nothing ‘phobic’ about it.

But I have to keep speaking up for reality because it’s the lies and propaganda about gender, trans people and ‘terfs’ that has created the atmosphere where this young man is able to get away with his abusive behaviour.

I have been able to contribute to the governments GRA consultation and have written to my MP as I don’t fear that confidentiality would be broken.

I also don’t fear that this description of my current situation will be able to be traced back to me because there are probably thousands of us in very similar circumstances.

I have a FB account in my own name that I now barely use, but I have anonymous accounts on other social media where I can share and like reasonable views without being further harassed.

The things I did to publicly speak up were so innocuous that I was surprised that the TW in my family became so abusive towards me so quickly. I shared a newspaper article from the Morning Star written by a transwoman (but apparently, not the right sort of transwoman) and I liked a Woman’s Place UK post on Facebook that wasn’t even about the gender/trans issue, but I was still told this was ‘bigotry’ because they are ‘all terfs.’ My first response was to try to reassure him that he didn’t have to agree with the other transwoman whose article I posted, but there was room was respectful discussion. That led to abusive and threatening messages not just left to me, but also to other women in my family, who were told to break all contact with me if they didn’t want to be called ‘transphobes.’

Before this happened, before he told his family that he’s a ‘woman’, he’d already been aggressive towards women and had been told not to return to his university, so I am wary that the likelihood of his harassment of me escalating is high.

The negative consequences of this are that some of my family no longer speak to me. I don’t know how much that is because they are scared of this abusive person in our family or how much they agree with him that I’m a horrible person for thinking that Women’s Place UK are not evil and for thinking that trans people are allowed diversity of thought.

Other negative consequences are that I am nervous when at home because I don’t know if he will just turn up at my doorstep or how violent he will feel justified to be. He often posts things on social media glorifying violence against the police and fascists. (He considers me to be a fascist.) This has affected my mental health to some extent. I’m sure he’d like me to be more adversely impacted than I am, but I will survive. I have to, because I need to do what I can to protect my daughter, my niece, and other women. I might keep a tactical silence in certain places, but I will not be broken.

AnonForSafety, I might be forced into anonymity for my immediate safety, but I have to keep speaking up for the safety of half of the population

Categories
Private sector

At my London workplace the only accessible toilets for staff from other offices or visitors have been purposely made unisex

As a mum and a female at work I am concerned that we’re being duped into accepting delusion under the guise of D&I and equality. I see SLTs in schools and at work promoting and liking political groups that undermine the reality of sex. Eg: at my London workplace the only accessible toilets for staff from other offices or visitors have been purposely made unisex.

As somebody who whilst at the same company has experienced multiple miscarriages including an ectopic and an unpleasant experience of unwanted advances from a male (who eventually got moved on) I continue to protest against being confined to only using the unisex toilets when single sex toilets do exist.

I know there are others that are too afraid to speak up…it  has been confirmed I am not the only one raising this. The D&I director refuses to take responsibility though it was her that directed this arrangement. D&I initiatives are LGBT++++++ heavy. Webinars refer to TERFs “a minority of radical feminists that attempt to prevent all women from spaces”. I don’t want my daughter to grow up feeling she is not entitled to privacy.

As above I have raised the LGBT++++ webinar in a feedback survey. I continue to raise the unisex toilets issue and refuse to use them when visiting. I share what is most likely deemed as controversial posts on LinkedIn (including yours!).

Yes, I can detect that I’m an irritation to the D&I director. Some colleagues I have spoken to about unisex toilets shrug it off as trivial with the ‘well I don’t mind/sometimes the women’s toilets are in an awful state’.

Shuv

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Healthcare Others

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years

This matters to me because I’m a lesbian and as a lesbian I increasingly feel that I’m being erased. Back in 2003-06 I was actively involved in Stonewall in my region. I was on the regional committee, which was headed by a lesbian. Also on the committee was a self-declared non-binary man who was studying Gender Studies at a local university and a transwoman. Although nothing had been said publicly Stonewall had already brought Transgenderism under its now-infamous umbrella. When I questioned this and pointed out that transactivism and lesbians were not a good fit, and when I asked what a straight self-declared non-binary man was doing at Stonewall meetings, it became clear that I was no longer welcome on the committee. I and another lesbian who also spoke up were treated with disapproval.

Our words were secretly recorded by the non-binary Gender Studies student and later included in a pro-trans lecture he gave in which we were quoted and cited as ‘the problem’.

I’ve been trying to warn lesbians for years that Stonewall and Pride don’t represent lesbians and until recently no one’s wanted to believe me.

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years and very few people have believed me until recently.

I’ve been actively resisting by speaking about it within women’s and lesbian circles. I’ve been blocked and defriended by lots of people. People used to roll their eyes but with the help of material from Woman’s Place UKTransgender Trend and so on I’ve been able to debunk a lot of the nonsense.

I engage with my woke local council, though the fact that I’m an older lesbian means I’m talked down and over by the woke mothers of transgender children.

I continue to hold strictly female events and groups, albeit publicised carefully and not publicly, and to correct anyone who tells me it’s not legal.

I’ve spoken up in a theatre and cafes where the only loos have been unisex and asked loudly why this is so, and what are women who don’t want to find themselves in a cubicle next to a man to do, and occasionally other women have joined in. No one likes unisex loos.

I’ve attended a couple of Woman’s Place meetings, raised issues with my local council and other councils (notably Leeds), stickered with Woman: adult human female and taken part in  some direct action. Was due to go to FILIA this year before Covid-19.

I’ve sent a load of people to Mumsnet’s Feminism Chat and they’ve spread the word in turn.

I’ve lost friends. People think I’m a transgender bore and have refused to believe that the very definition of woman is under threat.

I’ve become very aware of ageism and have been astonished at the way I’ve been put down particularly by younger feminists.

I’ve never thought of myself as particularly clever or rational but I’m really very frightened by the speed and stealth with which people have been duped into believing something that, once you.  start to ask a few basic questions, falls apart,

I’ve felt isolated at times and wondered whether it’s me that’s mad. I look at Canada and Ireland and the state of academia and despair. I think there is good reason to be very scared, particularly if you’re a lesbian. It’s shocking how complacent everyone has been in enabling Trans ideology to go untested and unquestioned.

Perhaps the most negative thing of all is realising how easily seduced by dangerous ideas people are. I never used to understand how the nazis could have attracted so many people. Now I see  how easy it is to persuade apparently clever, influential people that black is white, male is female and it’s reasonable for a judge to tell a woman to call the man in the dock opposite ‘he/ him’ on pain of imprisonment. That judge should have been disciplined.

I’ve been a Guardian reader and a Labour voter my entire life and now feel disenfranchised because I can’t vote for Labour or the Lib Dems because of their mindless adoption of TWAW politics. It’s really unsettling.

And finally, I have lost trust in those who are supposed to be brighter and more powerful and informed than me. So many MPs and councils and doctors and judges and teachers and university lecturers have just lapped this gender crap up without question. Including women and lesbians! So many people who turn out to be deeply, blindly misogynistic and homophobic. That’s the really frightening thing. That’s what gives me nightmares.

Susannah, adult human female

Categories
Healthcare Parent

This is a highly inappropriate thing to say to children with any form of disability

I care because no child should be told by anyone in authority that they may have been ‘born in the wrong body’. This is an ideology, not a scientific fact and should be taught as such, if at all.

I don’t imagine there are many people in this world who didn’t like aspects of their body growing up and they should be taught body positivity and self acceptance.

I also feel this is a highly inappropriate thing to say to children with any form of disability who may well feel like they are in the wrong body but are unable to identify out of it.

Self ID is a separate matter which raises all sorts of ethical and legal issues. The current GRA requirements seem reasonable to me but as with all law should should be subject to considered review. In the current climate this is difficult due to the atmosphere of fear of being branded transphobic.

I’m not particularly vocal on social media anyways but having seen the hate and vitriol spouted at anyone who doesn’t fully devote themselves to trans rights activity worldview I don’t want to get involved publically.

Not personally because I am aware that if you even hint to the wrong person that you feel women’s and children’s safeguarding should be considered in all of this you are subject to criticism.

My wife mentioned to a work colleague that I was interested in the the Scottish GRA review and upon hearing that I thought self ID could have negative implications for women’s legal protections she was informed that I am bigoted, transphobic and denying the reality of trans people.

Nick, Interested parent and casual twitter observer