Author: bomp123

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Students survivor

My life so far has been defined by abuse

I am twenty years old, and my life so far has been defined by abuse. I endured childhood rapes, intimate partner violence, and PTSD in addition to all the abuse that typically comes from being a woman. Nonetheless, I was strong and made it to where I am today. When I was raped in my first year of college, my friend group turned its back on me.

My anger was “an overreaction,” my best friend started dating my rapist, and male friends would tell me I was “slut-shaming” her by being upset.

Already, men were using woke language to silence me. Later, the same man who accused me of slut-shaming and over-reacting came out as non-binary, and suddenly I was the privileged one, and the poor little rich boy was oppressed.

My school is incredibly liberal. Most students support “sex work”, BDSM, and gender self-ID. Those of us who’ve been affected by these institutions keep our mouths shut.

Young men are always stepping up to tell me who I should feel comfortable changing in front of, what my period means, what defines my womanhood, and how I should feel about sexual violence. I say no.

I am a woman because I have XX chromosomes and uterus. The world has treated me a certain way because of it, and that matters to me.

I am afraid. I do not have a lot of money or power in the world. I have spoken with my friends and family. But I am not open or public about my views.

The same people (former friends) who trivialized and mansplained my rape accussed me of “transphobia” and “hating non binary people” and attacked me on facebook. I was forced to come out with all the details of what happened to me to clear my name.

Mick, Woman born a woman

Categories
Lesbians Students

I have been overwhelmed by the hatred shown when I have spoken up for my rights as a woman

I had no idea how far gender identity had evolved until I responded to a post on Twitter and was called a cis-woman. I had never heard this cis term before and it angered me that my status as a woman could just be wiped out so silently without fanfare. Now I realise that if I do not own and stand up for my rights as a adult human female my daughter will lose hers.

I have started to follow this and highlight it to as many people as possible. At times I have been overwhelmed by the hatred shown when I have spoken up for my rights as a woman. I’ve been made to feel that I am wrong for refusing to share my rights and spaces with trans women.

Lisa K, Woman, female, mother

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Students

I was pressured into transition, even though I didn’t believe it

This matters to me because I was pressured into transition, even though I didn’t believe it, and even though I got away from that, a lot of people I know are transitioning at an alarming rate. Women’s rights are being trampled on and I feel there is nowhere I can go if I feel vulnerable as a woman that a transgender male-to-female can’t also access.

I have spoken out with my family and posted on social media. I have also reduced contact with those who push their views onto me about the subject.

I have been threatened on social media, harassed by a transgender person (biologically male) I live with who also stole some of my ‘feminine possessions’ to tell me not to be a ‘terf’, cornered and threatened by another who was over a foot taller than me, and received more minor threats from a lot of friends warning me not to speak out. All of these (except from the last one) have been witnessed by people of authority, but all have been dismissed.

Beth

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Students

I care because truth matters

That is to say, why do I care about truth? I care because truth matters.

What have I done: Very little.

I’ve only ever spoken with close friends in confidence.

Zach

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Students

I lost a few of my teenage years to identifying as a man

I lost a few of my teenage years to identifying as a man because I did not want to be seen as or be treated like a woman. It’s more common in UK schools than you would think; I can count several other girls who also secretly identified or socially transitioned to a boy in secondary school before going back to living as a woman.

I still feel the urge to go back now- in a way, it would be easier for me to live my life as a man (after passing) than struggle as a gender nonconforming woman.

The appeal is there and it doesn’t help that I hate my body. I hope this is an adequate answer. I am currently 18 and remember first wanting to be a boy when I was about 12-13 until I was 16.

I have tried discussing it with friends and it’s actually quite common for lots of girls to recognise that nonbinary identities are deeply rooted in misogyny and that we are losing a whole generation of tomboys. I haven’t really spoken up about it much as I’ve only recently started looking into gender critical spaces but hope to possibly do more in the future.

I got thrown out of a group chat for discussing my anti-porn stance (I know this isn’t related to gender identity but the opinions are prevalent in gender critical spaces). I am on a discord server where everyone is biologically female but more than half of them do not identify as women. If any of them even knew a sliver of my views I would be metaphorically burned alive. It’s a shame since they are all decent enough people.

Grace, 18 year old West London

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Students

We are in a dystopian, totalitarian scenario

If we can’t defend something as basic and obvious as sex then we are in a dystopian, totalitarian scenario.

I was horrified because I knew, deep down, that I agreed with the uppity feminists, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find any evidence that they were wrong.

So eventually I accepted myself as one of the difficult women. I want women to be able to name ourselves. I want us to centre ourselves in our own movement. I want us protected in our own spaces. I want language to have meaning and for scientific concepts to stay coherent & reflect reality.

I started by working up the courage to send something to my MP. Then post on Mumsnet. I then wrote longer think-pieces. Talked to my friends & family in real life.

My friends have taken it negatively. I don’t think they see me in the same way. They don’t understand, so we don’t talk about it anymore.

S

Categories
Students

I’m much more on fence on this issue and am only 18

As I take this survey, I will let you know I don’t think I’m the right demographic. I’m much more on fence on this issue and am only 18, so there is a lot of time for me to grow and change I hope. But I’ve heard from people who have met you that you are a very nice, reasonable person and so I thought I’d fill this in. Sorry if it isn’t what you are looking for.

I care about this issue because I feel frightened by the way debate is being shut down. This issue is hugely nuanced and complicated, but…

…many trans advocates seem to think that if you don’t accept every part of their beliefs and if you even question them, you are transphobic. I simply cannot accept that, yet I see JK Rowling bringing up legitimate concerns only to be called ‘scum’, ‘transphobic’ and a horrible person.

I even felt scared to ask my 5 active twitter followers to give the blog a read in case it hurt my job chances in the future. And I’m very undecided on this issue. I didn’t even entirely agree with Rowling. The state of the debate is frightening and that is why I care about this issue.

I shared Rowling’s blog and have tried challenging a few people on Twitter to stop dehumanising Rowling and the other side of the debate. To try and empathise with their legitimate concerns. I have also discussed this issue extensively with my friends. One of whom agrees more strongly with JK Rowling than me and the rest who hate what she said and don’t think it is really worth considering. However we opened up dialogue there. My focus is not on convincing people to change their opinions, because I don’t know the right answer myself, but to be more empathetic to the other side and to try and understand their grievances.

I am certainly careful about what I say because I am in a very liberal bubble. The fact I feel worried even to say Rowling isn’t an awful person tells me how much worse it is for people going against the mainstream opinion on this issue. I hope we can further open up the debate and I am going to read more about this issue and educate myself further.

Sitting on the fence is also an uncomfortable position because I am transphobic on one side and sexist on the other. But this issue is far too complex for me to form an opinion lightly. I don’t think most people on the internet arguing so adamantly know what they are talking about and I don’t want to be that person.

Elspeth, 18 year old student

Categories
Students survivor trans familiy

Now I’m going to try and be as strong again

My ex had autogynophilic tendencies and used this as part of decades of domestic abuse including sexual.   After being told that he was most likely a malignant narcissist with psychopathic tendencies i started to see parallels with  TRA attacks that I’d started to see happen.

He had enforced language changed etc from very early on in the relationship. and I was loving and accommodating and realised how easy it would have been for me.to be a trans widow.

Additionally I saw 2 young women transition after   bullying/sexual assault and they seemed like classic ROGD  and the thought of them probaby desisting after being blithely transed and irreparably altered  horrified me.

I have  spoken to.people irl (in real life) ,  started speaking up online,  gone to a demo, started being more active in feminist circles.

I’ve been considered hateful.  I’ve feared being too visible as I am still.a cptsd sufferer dealing with years of traumatic sexual and other abuse but I’ve  been more  brave since jk Rowling’s first tweets.  I’ve started liking things. and today I have been retweeting and liking loads of things.  Before the abuse I was a whistle blower and stood up for others and now I’m going to try and be as strong again.

Marina, I stand with JK Rowling

Categories
Students

This gender ideology seems profoundly irrational and unscientific to me

This gender ideology seems profoundly irrational and unscientific to me, it feels like part of a wider effort to roll back women’s freedoms and ability to participate in society at a time when misogyny is on the rise.

I’ve talked to friends about this, I’ve been more active on twitter.

Eleanor, mother, angry

Categories
Lesbians Students

I am seeing the existence of my sexuality be denied

I care because as a woman I am seeing all of the hard-earned rights feminists have worked tirelessly for be diminished before our eyes. I care because as a lesbian, I am seeing the existence of my sexuality be denied and the definition of it “extended” to include males by people from within the LGBT community.

I care because I have read the statistics and seen first hand the amount of young girls go through social/medical transition due to homophobia, misogyny and peer pressure.

As a student I witnessed struggling young bisexual and lesbian girls change their name and pronouns to fit in with the “queer” crowd.

I care because I’ve been called vanilla for not wanting to partake in BDSM. I’ve been called a prude for criticizing the porn and sex industries. I care because I care about the rights of lesbians and the rights of all women!

I try to speak up about the injustices I’m seeing as much as possible, online and in real life. Unfortunately I live in an area with no radical feminist groups, and a huge queer community so I only know a small close circle of radfems.

I have been shunned from the LGBT community. People I don’t even know know me and by name and it’s worrying. When I am out and about and I see someone look at me funny I wonder if it’s because they know I am  a “TERF”. Socialising in gay venues has become anxiety-inducing, but I still go because I have every right to be there as a homosexual female. I have been excluded from university groups and people are warned about me.

Rosie, 21 year old lesbian and student