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Healthcare survivor

There is a special bond that forms between women in the absence of men

My adult life has been marred by bullying, invariably by men, especially those in positions of power, but also from those with whom I was intimate.

I experienced verbal and psychological abuse from my husband, directed at me and my children. I was fortunate to be directed to my local DV shelter by a friend. We did not have to move in, but received help from the wonderful women who worked there.

As I age, I find more and more relief in the company of women. There is a special bond that forms between women in the absence of men. The space feels safer and warmer, and women respond differently to one another when not subjected to the male gaze.

That women who need single-sex spaces for recovery can have that taken from them by the insistence by men who claim to be are women is almost impossibly painful. Those spaces have been set up by women, for women. I feel so angry when men demand the right to enter.

I have responded online to consultations, written to MPs and MSPs. I have donated online to campaign for women’s rights. I have spoken out on social media, using my own name, despite threats of violence, and to my career.

Until last year, I was tied up in an unhappy marriage and too unwell to travel. Now coronavirus is interfering with my freedom, but I hope to join up with other women in the near future, either to meet with  ReSisters group, or attend an organised meeting.

I have received public threats on Twitter, both of physical harm and threats to my career, one of which was a credible threat to report me to the governing body of my profession, which fortunately was not carried through.

I am fortunate to have lived in a place where I was physically out of reach for physical threats or UK police reports and therefore I have felt able to speak more freely than otherwise.

Sarah, 50ish human female

Categories
Healthcare Parent

I have recently started an international parents group challenging gender affirmative care

I care because homosexual bisexual gifted and neurodiverse kids in the throngs of puberty and adolescence are now being convinced that they were “born in the wrong body” and must transition or they will commit suicide. 

I have spoken with the school and teachers , supported hundreds of other parents online and through my local PROGD support group, talked to anyone who will listen, and I have recently started an international parents group challenging gender affirmative care for children and adolescents. 

People think I’m not supportive of my kid and treat me like an enemy.  I’m excluded from my “liberal” friends and community  now. 

Alexandra, Parent who is thinking critically and wants to protect my child

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Others

As a teenager, I told my friends to consider me a boy in a girl’s body

As someone who survived girlhood and has been forced to face the reality of my life head-on to try to heal from it, I now understand how much of the violence and disadvantages I suffered in my life as a result of people recognizing me as female and treating me according to their ideas of how a female person should be treated.

As a teenager, I told my friends to consider me a boy in a girl’s body because I knew I couldn’t live up to the stereotypes of womanhood, and I could not identify with the restrictions others placed on my freedom, intellect, physical ability, and more. If I had been raised believing that I could truly turn into a man, I would have taken that escape from the oppressiveness of my female reality.

I had to do this alone. I had no support from my family (my first and main source of patriarchal abuse), my friends (who dismissed my trauma symptoms as “girl drama”), or my professional colleagues in a male-dominated field (who simply assumed I was bad at my job and not worth training).

No girl should have to accept being treated as subhuman by the society she lives in; no girl should have to recover from abuse alone; no girl should be forced to violate her own sense of integrity by being pressured to believe that men can be women in any way.

Bellona, Former ‘boy in a girl’s body’, USA

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Others

I have used ladies loos in pubs to get away from pushy or aggressive men

The safety of women and girls matter to me. In the past I have used ladies loos in pubs to get away from pushy or aggressive men.

I have spoken to friends in real life, on social media, and donated to issues I care about.

People have been unfriendly on social media, and in real life.

KP, IT since 90s, Mum of 3 and Bereaved mother of 1, USA

Categories
Lesbians

One girl refused to go on a second date with me again because I was same-sex attracted and outspoken about it

This matters as I want to find a wife, raise a family and I work in STEM. This matters because the same arguments that were used against me as a child (that female brains are not suited to certain activities) are now being used to ‘prove’ certain men are trans women because they like ‘girly’ things.

I have discussed it with a close friend and my brother and touched on it at work.

I have been harassed on social media and one girl refused to go on a second date with me again because I was same-sex attracted and outspoken about it.

Elizabeth, Lesbian, Switzerland

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Others

It erases reality and our capacity to name it

I care, because it affects women. It erases hard won rights. It erases reality and our capacity to name it.

I have participated in online discussions, so not much of a real life activist. Yet.

BC, Spain

Categories
Men

The transactivist movement fails a basic test of morality

The erosion of women’s rights should matter to everyone. Firstly, anything which restricts and diminishes the potential of half of humanity is, self-evidently, a massive setback for all. More drastically, hard as it may be to imagine, the erosion of women’s rights should matter to everyone because the ideology driving these attacks is not based on reality. 

Any time adherence to an ideology is prized more highly than adherence to the truth, bad things – some times truly terrible things – follow.

Further, the transactivist movement fails a basic test of morality-  considering the consequences of one’s actions for others.  Theirs is not a demand for fair treatment. This is not zero sum. As many women have highlighted, what could be more misogynistic than the erasure of women as a category? 

Sadly, I have done not nearly enough to raise my voice, though I am working towards it. I am full of admiration for those who have.  I’ve lost friends already by refusing to go along with what I know is wrong. 

I’ve been excluded from groups and have lost friends as a result of speaking out against the erasure of women as a category.

Will W, musician, educator, coder, Spain

Categories
Parent

We removed her from the school and we left the UK in 2019 to live abroad where being trans at school is not a trend

My daughter aged 12 has learned about LBGT and trans rights at year 7 in a girls school so she identified as a boy.

Extensive talks with school had a very confusing reply and I was told there is nothing we can do as per the British laws.

We removed her from the school and we left the UK in 2019 to live abroad where being trans at school is not a trend.

I am involved in Parent’s groups  where we support each other and lobby for awareness.

Maya R , Worried parent of an ROGD daughter that took very difficult decisions to protect from medicalization

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Others

I’m also horrified by medical treatment of gender non-conformity

I believe women should retain their sex-based rights and sexual orientation refers to sex, not gender. I’m also horrified by medical treatment of gender non-conformity, same-sex attraction, and girls who wish to escape the reality of being female.

I’ve spoken up with friends, family, online. I’ve written an article in the misogyny and homophobia of “gender identity” ideology.

I’ve lost friends, but had no employment problems.

H. M. , Homo. Not ‘Queer’. Not ‘Cis’, New Zealand

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Others

I care as an aunt to a 15 year old girl who refuses to use the bathroom outside of class time

I care as someone who holds two degrees in biomedical science, seeing the spreading of misinformation about biological sex as though it is a debatable hypothesis.

I care as a woman who sees other women shouted down daily, dismissed as hysterical, ageist/misogynistic slurs used against them, all for the crime of organising as a class and wanting to speak about our rights.

I care as an aunt to a 15 year old girl who refuses to use the bathroom outside of class time after they made all of the toilets unisex for inclusivity and boys think it’s funny to intimidate girls in them.

I reply to things on twitter but try not to draw too much attention to myself for fear of backlash,

JD, Netherlands