Categories
Men

I’ve seen the damage first hand…it tore the family apart

I’ve seen the damage first hand when the daughter of a good friend, a lovely person went to Bristol Uni. Very quickly stopped responding to parents & siblings, wouldn’t come home for Christmas etc. And when she did finally return home 12 months later raged at everyone for bringing her up like a girl, she’s non binary now. It tore the family apart, just so sad.

I’ve written to & emailed my Labour MP, no reply. I’ve written to M&S, Sainsbury’s, Debenhams & got the standard equality but thanks for your concerns responses.

No consequences, but I’m a man.

Paul, Concerned Dad

Categories
Men

I’m a feminist. Quite simple really

This matters to me because I’m a feminist. Quite simple really.

I’ve communicated issues to others personally. I’ve interacted on social media platforms.

A, Father, brother, husband – perhaps in that order

Categories
Men

Stonewall etc have tried to deny same sex attraction and replace it with gender

I’m a gay male. I feel concerned that Stonewall etc have tried to deny same sex attraction and replace it with gender. I am worried that this could result in serious undermining of gay / lesbian rights which I feel are more fragile than some appear to think.

I’m very concerned that young gay men / lesbians may take hasty and life altering decisions to transition and then regret it later. I do not trust organisations like Mermaids or Stonewall not to encourage transitions in young people who might actually just need time to come to terms with sexuality.

I have put across my views on Twitter. I have spoken to various friends and a couple of colleagues about this issue. I wish I could keep my mouth shut as it doesn’t win friends, but I just feel it’s so serious.

I do wonder if I haven’t lost one or two friends about this issue, though no one has said that directly (just disappeared). I generally try to keep quiet apart from on Twitter where I am partially anonymous (though use my real name).

I worry slightly about a convo I had at work with a senior manager who runs the Pride network.

I generally keep it fairly low key though so no huge issues.

Gay Man

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Academics and researchers Healthcare Men

I feel that free speech is being stifled in academic environments

This matters to me because I’m scared that the TRA movement is aggressively and perniciously invading the basic human rights of women and children. It further matters to me because I feel that free speech is being stifled, notably in academic environments.

I have spoken up on social media, at work and within my union.

I’ve been threatened and bullied on social media so have almost been forced to make anonymous account. I’ve been threatened and bullied at work.

A man who supports women, terrified academic

Categories
Education Men Parent

I was a good ally

I first became engaged with trans issues when I had to teach a unit on queer theory to my A Level class. Having very little knowledge of my own,  I followed some trans accounts on twitter and read some web resources to develop an understanding. It seemed to me that trans people were an oppressed minority who needed help in overcoming societal prejudice in the same way feminist groups, the civil rights and gay rights movements had done before. I read what I could and spoke up for trans students at college when other members of staff misgendered them in front of me. I was a good ally.

I don’t remember the exact moment I realised that something was wrong. In the early days I got drawn into an argument on twitter about whether men could have periods. It seemed self evident to me that they couldn’t but apparently they could and i was hateful for suggesting otherwise. I assumed at first this was just a lone crank, how wrong I was. The penny dropped for me when I listened to Rebecca Reilly Cooper’s remarkable talk “Examining the doctrine of gender identity” on Youtube. This video had a profound impact on me, I still listen to it a couple of times a year.

I am now hugely invested in this issue and my eyes are open to the harm “the doctrine of gender identity” does to women and girls. I am appalled at the misogyny suffered by women online.

I despair of the pressure young lesbians are put under to accept trans women with penises as sexual partners.

I am terrified at the thought that my beautiful gender non-conforming daughter will be sucked in by the cult. But I am heartened at the number of women (and some men too) that are refusing to go along with the lunacy.

I like plenty of tweets and reply to quite a few, often debating with trans rights activists at length but, ultimately to no real purpose. Occasionally I summon up the courage to send an original tweet myself but not often. I comment on Facebook threads now and then.

I am too nervous to go full TERF on Facebook in front of all the people I know in real life. My partner hates me speaking out publicly even though she agrees with me. She’s worried I might get sacked and she’s right to be concerned about that.

It worries me too, although not enough to make me completely silent.

I teach at a college where traces of the transcult are creeping in. Displays in the library, genderbread people on display in classrooms. I’ve only been there a few months so I feel I need to get bedded in more before I speak out. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be asked to deliver a tutorial or take my class to a talk or get some CPD that will give me the excuse I need to speak up. I truly feel that I will have the courage when the time comes.

Have you had any consequences? So far, very little. Some ex students have told me on twitter how disappointed they are with me but I can easily take that. I’ve not lost any friends or been disciplined at work. My gender critical activities are too far under the radar at the moment. I can’t help but feel that because I’m a man I get off much lighter too.

R, Gender Critical Educator

Categories
Men

He said he could no longer bring himself to believe in his transition anymore

A few years ago I got back in touch with my father whom I hadn’t seen since my mother’s death when I was 11. I discovered that he had undergone every MtF reassignment procedure one could name. This was a shock. We met up months later. At this time, he had lost someone close to him. This loss had shattered his “faith in the transition”. He said he could no longer bring himself to believe in it anymore. Despite this, my father continued – and still continues – to live “as a woman”, albeit off the drugs. As a result of this profound personal impact the issue had on me, I followed it – falcon-like, keeping track, reading everything even faintly related to it, as well as trying to understand what had led my father to his decisions.

I have kept quiet about my views on the issue at work and online.

Only a few close friends know about my father.

I suspect the “negative consequences” of speaking out are to come. We will see.

Categories
Healthcare Men

It seems strange to me that many lefty types have a blind spot when it comes to women

I care about women’s spaces, their safety, privacy and dignity. It seems strange to me that many lefty types have a blind spot when it comes to women.

I also worry about children who don’t conform to typical gender expectations thinking that they are wrong and need to be corrected.

I talk to my friends and family about this issue as much as I think is possible without alienating / boring them.

I discuss this issue on Twitter most days.

On Twitter I am repeatedly told I am hateful, a bigot or some variation of that theme. At times this has impacted in my mental health. I know I am not motivated by hate, but the idea that I am unwittingly upsetting others sometimes gets to me. I have been sent idle threats, but nothing specific enough to scare me.

JustDavidDavid, pro trans, anti gender

Categories
Men

I object to this because I care about the girls and women in my life

I’m a man. I object to this because I care about the girls and women in my life. Denying sex is madness.

M

Categories
Education Men

If this one falls I don’t think there is any hope of holding any other lines

To me the distinction between male and female is truth that is so real and profound it is embedded within us at biological level going back millions of years. If a truth that substantial can be overturned we give permission for any ideology with the appropriate power to dictate truth.

Losing the concept of Truth being rooted to a large extent in empirical observation and the valuing of the scientific method is profoundly dangerous. If this one falls I don’t think there is any hope of holding any other lines. We then risk the  dismantling of everything to then be reconstructed in accordance with whatever is the prevailing ideology with the power to do so.

I have had a brief period on Twitter engaging with the discussion (Wow that really did make a difference!!!)

I have not had consequences, because I have been very cautious. It is a combination of cowardice and the practical reality that it is not my core focus in life (maybe it should be in light of my answer earlier). I don’t want to lose that which I can do and am doing in my own field to die in a ditch over trans issues where I am such a small player that I will not meaningfully make any difference there either. Paying towards crowd fund challenges is a safe and real way I can make a difference.

AG, C of E priest. School chaplain (heading for retirement).

Categories
Men Parent

My mission is to get as many men as I can to see the truth and value behind feminism

A friend asked me this ages ago. “Why do you care so much?” I told her it was because I had grown up in an atmosphere that valued civil rights, equality between the sexes (not genders) and social justice. In the intervening years, I have had the good fortune to meet and befriend many remarkable women and understand their concerns. My mission is to get as many men as I can to see the truth and value behind feminism.

I am writing a book called “We Are So Not There Yet”. It’s slow going; I’m nowhere near there yet!

I am constantly slagged off on social media, but since I am retired and a man, I don’t give a damn and give as good as I get.

Paul Milnes, Feminist ally; proud father of a daughter; grandfather