The Gender Dissidents SurveyThis matters to me personally because of the way some TRAs treat survivors of abuse/rape who are unwilling to share female spaces with those who are physically male. More broadly I’m also concerned about safety in prisons and hospital wards and the effects on women’s sports.
I have spoken out anonymously online and there have been some rather heated debates in my workplace.
IC, Cat person, feminist, abuse survivor
After I did the Freedom Programme I noticed that I had a sort of bodily trauma response if I couldn’t control my boundaries around unfamiliar men. Even at the door of my own house.
Actually that experience had always been there, but I hadn’t recognised it before. I have trans people in my life and I read them as trans people – there’s a mix of male and female characteristics there – so I get that response less but it’s still there.
When I started to understand what Stonewall are doing I was horrified. Firstly, there absolutely must still be single sex services for domestic abuse victims. I honestly start to cry when I realise that Stonewall are callous enough to want to take that away. That is nothing to how I felt when I read the Stronger Together guidance endorsed by Scottish Women’s Aid that advises actively gaslighting women who are victims of domestic abuse.
I needed a safe space full of women to discuss and process what happened to me, and I’m so grateful to my local Women’s Aid for doing that.
My mother in particular kept pressuring me to center the needs of my abusive husband, and it was really hard to hold my own reality. I clung to anyone who would let me have my own reality. Here are Scottish Women’s Aid, signing up to taking women’s reality away. They could have said, no we won’t use our position of power to deny women’s reality or diminish the importance of their feelings about that.
Secondly, I saw that Stonewall want to remove any safeguards from obtaining a GRC, and that this would mean male presenting male people in women’s spaces. I can probably work with male people who have actually transitioned in public toilets. I can possibly work with male people who have actually transitioned and are very very careful in public changing rooms. I am willing to do that for people diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Self ID proposes that any male presenting as male can use any women’s space without being careful, and I can’t work with that.
I have completed consultations in long rambling ways, trying to put in as much as possible. I have spoken to people who I believe to be open to different points of view. I have a Conservative MP, and there is the one advantage to having a Conservative MP that she actually might be receptive to this. I am afraid I am a bit late to the party, as it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve really been aware of this stuff and capable of actually doing anything, because I was very overwhelmed by the domestic abuse.
I’ve experienced the general of being called a TERF. The term TERF means “woman against whom it is acceptable to perpetrate misogynistic abuse and violence”. It’s distressing for any woman to be called that. It does trigger something particular for me. Especially when women use it and give validity to the idea that it can be legitimate to perpetrate misogynistic abuse. Especially when women argue that we must accept or ignore the misogynistic abuse because of the terrible suffering of trans people.
My mother said to me, “you might have to put up with a bit of abuse”. That is essentially what liberal feminists are saying when they use the term TERF. It just makes me feel trapped again with no refuge.
As an only parent, I don’t get to participate in public life very much. I can only really go places where my son can come as well. The only other place I could speak up is work, and I work for a local branch of a national charity that is fairly woke. In any event the issue doesn’t really come up very often in the rural part of the country where I live.
Kimberly
I care as a rape victim and victim of narcissistic person manipulation because I know how easy is to be pushed in to position where you don’t want to be, I care because I don’t want bullies to succeed and open options for further bullying.
I have written on Twitter and Facebook and talk about in person.
I have been attacked on line.
Lidija, Bullies should not pass, niziris, Sweden
This issue is important to my heart because I value my human right to safety as a woman. Moreover, a woman who has been assaulted by males throughout my short life, I recognise the importance of distinguishing between sex (reality) and gender (stereotypes). You cannot feel what it is like to be a woman. If you were born male, you cannot understand the attacks made against you on a daily basis by everyone in your life, and you cannot empathise genuinely with the suffering of women the world over. I won’t be silenced.
I have devoted my social media accounts to amplifying women and lesbian voices against the tsunami of false information, men deciding what women are, and bile spewed against women like JKR, who is an honourable and admirable representative for women who have suffered at the hands of men.
I’ve been banned from countless groups and communities and added to several lists of public enemies belonging to those groups admins. I have received death and rape threats, as have every other woman I know who has spoken their mind on this matter.
Vi, An unsilenced woman, womensrightspls
This matters to me as a concerned woman, a mum of amazing daughters, an abuse survivor. This proposed legislation leaves women vulnerable to males seeking to use legislative changes to enter women’s safe spaces
I’ve written to MP, MSP, donated to fundraisers.
Izzi
My family consists of my sister, my mother and my grandmother. I have no living male relatives. I am a lesbian who has been sexually assaulted, my mother has been harrassed, my sister and grandmother have been raped, my girlfriend has been raped. My sister has mental and physical disabilities and needs professional support, so does my grandmother.
I want to stand up for their right and my right to places that are free of male people, I want to stand up for their right and my right to refuse being treated or cared for by a male-bodied person, without fear of being accused of unjustified discrimination or gaslit into “embracing their discomfort” and accept a male person as female.
My sister also has a schizophrenia, she relies on strong medication to maintain a grasp of reality and live a mostly independent life. Messing with her knowledge and perception of reality, particularly with regard to the demographic that deeply traumatized her body and mind, may threaten her mental health and independence.
I do not fight for or against trans people, I fight for acknowledgement of reality on which legislation can be based that includes safeguards and exceptions to protect the weak and those who cannot fight for themselves or have trouble articulating and defending their needs.
I am following the debate and arguments in social and mainstream media. I do not live in an anglophone country, but the issue is arriving here, too, and I’m getting ready to engage those parties involved in the legislative process. I monitor guidelines at the institutions that provide care for my loved ones and I keep telling them that they are allowed to refuse care that makes them discomfortable.
Some friends from an LGBTQ friendly hobby group have cut themselves off.
Anna V, middle aged woman working in IT, Germany
As a woman this is very close to my heart. I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian. I also have endometriosis which is hard enough without having people tell me I can’t call myself a woman!
I have connected with radfems and gender critical feminists around the world, via Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter. I have supported other women and tried to spread awareness of the issues, and am currently in the process of organising an in-person group for women supporting women.
I’ve been sent death and rape threats for years now, suicide baiting, name calling, attempts to manipulate me and trigger my ptsd. Every day I am bombarded with hate – I have to take mini breaks every so often to manage my mental health.
K, 31, Australian, critical feminist
I care because I am a woman, a woman with a daughter. Just like me my daughter is a “Tom boy”.
I never wanted to be a girl either it’s not fun. So I ran around with a group of mostly guy friends. However I still like boys so I would date.
When I was 15 years old I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend. He must have thought that made him have some ownership over me. I was abused beaten and raped, threatened and very scared to move against him. He carefully separated me from my friends and family. He carefully destroyed me and any confidence I had.
As I got older I realized how dangerous some men really are to women. In a world that is made for men we are seen as lesser then. Anyone with a penis being in the same bathroom as me is scary. I don’t want to be scared in a bathroom or a dressing room. I also need a place to talk, having someone their who has or did have a penis would make me uncomfortable.
I’m not against Trans people. They 100% deserve safety and rights too! But why is it that for them to have rights women have to give away the safety we barely have. It feels like Trans women don’t understand and that might be because our experiences are not the same. That’s ok too.
But opening up women exclusive places because someone says they are a woman is very scary.
Biology is real! What about in sports? Will women have to compete with someone who has male biology? Just bc they call themselves a woman? It’s so not fair. This is not the society I wanted for my daughter. It’s also so confusing. I too spent my whole childhood wishing I was a boy. When my boobs came and I got my period I cried because I wanted to be a boy.
In today’s world, society would tell me to transition. But it would have been wrong for me. Now as a adult I know that I am who I am. I don’t have to change. I am a woman, a mother and I am a little rough around the edges. I keep my hair short. I dress how I want and my fiancé still loves me for me. If I had changed I never would have found my happiness.
I have tried my best to speak out on social media and raise other women up. Sadly there is a scary amount of opposition who don’t care about women’s rights they just want the title. They bring down a storm on your job, your family and everything they can attach to you. What a scary thing. Even if your boss agrees with you, they still have to fire you or lose their business!? That is terrifying.
This “agree with me or suffer the consequences” culture that’s happening. This “cancel culture” has moved to regular people. No longer does an angry mass demand a show be taken off the air.
Now they look at a small town mom and say, “agree with me or I will take everything from you”(it’s actually terrifying if you think about it.)
I’m also a artist so I use some of my art to send a message. It’s usually one drawing on black background and large vibrant words. I’m trying to reach out across the line and ask for thoughtful conversation instead of a angry swarm waiting to destroy on command. I’m no one’s enemy.
The consequences seem to be similar for everyone. Like I said before, even if I’m just asking for conversation or a debate to try and see the problems for what they are I am met with blind hate.
Like a swarm of angry bees waiting to sting whoever comes near their hive, we’re not allowed to touch this conversation. So I’ve had hateful slurs thrown at me. Long time friends have unfriended me and I’m made to feel like being a regular woman is a hateful thing in itself.
C. Mutt, I’m a mom and a Artist. My nature is to love and Create. I believe all people have the Right to be safe, happy and live their best life, USA
As a woman I have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse, we need to have single sex spaces etc to protect women and their dignity.
I have answered the consultation, emailed my MP, posted on social media, talked to colleagues at work.
I have been called a terf, lost friends.
Helen, Gender free adult human female
It matters to me because I’m worried about female safety in female spaces. And general comfort. I’m a victim of male physical and sexual violence, triggered by men in spaces where I’m vulnerable. I’m worried about erasure of woman using “gender neutral” language.
I’ve liked tweets, signed petitions.
I’ve experienced tension in whatsapp groups.
Hannah A, private sector
The Gender Dissidents Survey