Tag: survivor

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Others

I will march if I have to

I care because between the age of 9 to around 11 years old I was sexually abused by a male ‘family friend’. It matters to me to have a safe place away from men to get undressed at the swimming pool and to go to the toilet in peace without men in this space. I didn’t know or even have on my radar any issues with the trans movement and have no ill will to trans people and completely agree they should have safe spaces, unisex spaces but can never agree to give up safe spaces for women and I will march if I have to.

Well only tonight have I had the courage to post on my Facebook JK Rowling post, I’m ashamed to say I’ve not done it sooner through fear of being called transphobic or a bigot but I’ve decided I must speak out.

Only time will tell but so far 3 of my Facebook friends have liked it and no one has unfriended me, if they do they do but I hope this means real life people actually are nothing like the hate on Twitter.

Karen T, private sector (employed)

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Parent Private sector survivor

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs

This matters to me because I am a 40 year old mother of a 4 year old daughter. I have been sexually assaulted (police involved) at my place at work as a steward at a premier league football club. I took it in my stride but my wonderful male supervisor witnessed it and had to remind me that it was unacceptable and called the police for me (I was conditioned to accept groping/casual sexual assault).

Beaten by a boyfriend between the ages of 16 and 19. Been called frigid/loose as a school girl by school boys. Flashed 3 times as a teenager, the third time the male adult masturbated in front of me. Received comments about my body/appearance constantly since teenage years. Sexually assaulted on a train at night, reported to police the next day, nothing they could do.

Most of this took place in PUBLIC! Fuck inviting this to a private (previously) safe space where nudity is involved.

I am an HR Manager and have supported a male colleague through transition. He subsequently gaslighted me and started using the female toilet 24 hours after becoming a trans woman, in the flick of a switch.

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs. I ended up triggered and in counselling and uncomfortable to now use the shared toilets.  I don’t want this shit for my daughter. I DON’T WANT THIS SHIT FOR ANYONE!

I’ve followed feminists and dipped my toe in the water by asking Jon Ronson exactly what he felt that Graham Linehan had done wrong. Got threatened, terfed and gaslit. I am now prepared to level up!

I have also been berated and hated on by my woke sister, who in fact in her youth, witnessed me being beaten by my then boyfriend on more than one occasion. 😦

Owning womanhood for the first time in my life, anakindrytalker

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survivor

My mother & sister were sexually assaulted

I care because my mother & sister were sexually assaulted. I have sympathy with those with dysphoria who’ve had sex reassignment but I do not trust men. They will abuse self-ID. The numbers of women who’ve been sexually assaulted by men is a warning that’s being ignored.

I have expressed myself online, despite fear of violence against me for doing so.

I believe I would be sacked from my job if my views were known.

Pear Trio, Lifelong LGBT member & supporter till all this abuse of women., Three Pears

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Others

Its stealing our ability to describe sexism

I think this is the biggest women’s issue of our age. Its stealing our ability to describe sexism.

I’ve talked to people in my personal life. Explained the issue and my objections

I’ve been repeatedly blocked and unfollowed online. I’m sure it would be much worse if I wasn’t anon.

M, Mother of a daughter, domestic violence survivor

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Healthcare Others

Why did my mother have to suffer for years with her womb

As a woman who hasn’t been believed and made to feel bad for being sexually assaulted, I find it terrifying that women’s voices are still not heard. I am not traumatised by the event but other women are by theirs and pushing ideology on people only makes that worse.

Why did my mother have to suffer for years with her womb because they couldn’t be bothered to deal with it, whereas had she identified as man she may have not had to suffer as long.

I was told at 16 I was too young for a hysterectomy as I may want kids one day. I’m glad they didn’t take me seriously in some ways as now in my 30s I am considering children.

However, it is this disregard towards women and their feelings and their bodies that does not sit right with me. This is before we even get on to the topic of men identifying as women being allowed to compete as women in sport!

I am quite active on Twitter in the Gender Critical movement. I was threatened rape on twitter and the tweet was deleted and the account suspended.

KS, Biology cannot be denied

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Media and Arts

Not one moment of my life has ever been “cis”

As a rape victim and domestic abuse survivor, I know too well the visceral reality of existing in a female body. Erasing womanhood as the unique experience, both painful and joyful, that it is only deepens misogyny and endangers our rights and safety. In the US, women still don’t have constitutional equality! Sex-based rights are specific, distinct and sacrosanct.

Men who grow up with male privilege will never know what it is to be a woman. They have their own struggles. We have ours. If you don’t think abusive men will take advantage of trans self ID laws, then you truly erase women’s lived experiences and oppression.

Even without the opportunists, women shouldn’t have to justify why we deserve our OWN rights and spaces. You would never demand a PoC justify their need for race based rights or race based organizations.

I have been vocal on social media and with friends. In public conversations I object to being called cis or being forced to declare my pronouns. Cis implies a privilege women cannot experience. Cis erases the struggle women face to rebel against and defy gender stereotypes, roles, and behavior. Not one moment of my life has ever been “cis.”

I have been harassed online, usually by liberal men. Most recently, a progressive male spent the night berating me online, mansplaining womanhood to me, calling me a bad feminist, and telling me that female oppression didn’t matter compared to trans males’ feelings.

More frighteningly though, I have had professional contacts in the political world sever ties and support for me over my objection to trans athletes in women’s sports. This not only bullied and silenced me amongst work colleagues, but it also means I lost out on work recommendations from them when I was looking for a job.

María, Indigenous American, asylum immigrant, mixed race female, rape victim, US

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Media and Arts

I nearly died from severe early onset pre-eclampsia

This matters to me for a number if reasons:

1) Because I am a sexual abuse survivor and do not want to be forced into private spaces with males. 

2) I do not think it’s fair that males are taking spaces reserved for females in leadership, training, scholarships etc.

3) My experience as a woman is totally different to that of a transwoman – I nearly died from severe early onset pre-eclampsia and then my work tried to make me redundant shortly afterwards! We are women because of our female bodies and that matters a lot.

4) The reinforcement of the stereotypes of what constitutes femininity and masculity is harmful to women. Women are not defined by clothing, grooming, mannerisms and behaviours – we all have different personalities and presentations.

5) I am utterly sick of the misinformation and inappropriate content being taught in schools and workplaces in relation to this issue.

6) I am concerned that publicly funded bodies are not recording sex, so can longer measure sex inequality.

I’ve challenged policies at work with incorrect protected characteristics.  I’ve challenged monitoring categories for a research project I am working on – sex has been replaced with gender. I’ve spoken to women and men I trust to discuss the issues. I’ve shared information on social media and written to my MP.

I have been denounced as a ‘transphobe’ on social media for stating my belief in the reality of sex and the need to record it.

M, Floating voter swayed by women’s rights issues

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Students survivor

My life so far has been defined by abuse

I am twenty years old, and my life so far has been defined by abuse. I endured childhood rapes, intimate partner violence, and PTSD in addition to all the abuse that typically comes from being a woman. Nonetheless, I was strong and made it to where I am today. When I was raped in my first year of college, my friend group turned its back on me.

My anger was “an overreaction,” my best friend started dating my rapist, and male friends would tell me I was “slut-shaming” her by being upset.

Already, men were using woke language to silence me. Later, the same man who accused me of slut-shaming and over-reacting came out as non-binary, and suddenly I was the privileged one, and the poor little rich boy was oppressed.

My school is incredibly liberal. Most students support “sex work”, BDSM, and gender self-ID. Those of us who’ve been affected by these institutions keep our mouths shut.

Young men are always stepping up to tell me who I should feel comfortable changing in front of, what my period means, what defines my womanhood, and how I should feel about sexual violence. I say no.

I am a woman because I have XX chromosomes and uterus. The world has treated me a certain way because of it, and that matters to me.

I am afraid. I do not have a lot of money or power in the world. I have spoken with my friends and family. But I am not open or public about my views.

The same people (former friends) who trivialized and mansplained my rape accussed me of “transphobia” and “hating non binary people” and attacked me on facebook. I was forced to come out with all the details of what happened to me to clear my name.

Mick, Woman born a woman

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Academics and researchers Healthcare Parent survivor

I am concerned that my gender non-conforming son will grow to hate his beautiful healthy body

I, like too many women, have experienced grooming, rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence and am fearful of allowing men into women’s spaces.

I am concerned that my gender non-conforming son will grow to hate his beautiful healthy body because of the narrative that gender trumps sex.

I have created anonymous social media accounts to voice my concerns and engage in discussion. I have discussed with my children their right to retain their own spaces and their right to express themselves (i.e. their gender) in any way they choose without this altering their sex. I have contacted my children’s schools to discuss their policy re self identifying students.

I felt compelled to step down from an important task force at work re women in STEM when headed by self-ID trans woman and no opportunity or environment for objection.

I have lost friends and been ostracised from left wing, feminist, and social justice groups of which I was previously an active member. I have had to develop new and anonymous social media accounts because changes in work policy have made clear that I will lose my job for refusing to share women’s only spaces i.e. toilets with trans women.

L C, PhD in STEM (medical sciences)

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Academics and researchers

I saw a TRA threaten a 15 year old girl with rape & choking her with his ‘girl-dick’ because she said girls don’t have a penis

I care because my daughter is a butch lesbian & I saw a TRA (trans rights activist) threaten a 15 year old girl with rape & choking her with his ‘girl-dick’ because she said girls don’t have a penis. I don’t want my daughter, that 15 year old or any other woman or girl to be forced or coerced to accept penis or be threatened with rape.

I care also as the victim of rape, both as a child and adult. I know abusive men when I see them & they want easy access to women & girls.

I started to tweet under my own name & was quietly warned by a friend at work to be careful. I was all of a sudden required to attend diversity training in person, not the usual online kind.

I questioned why sex was absent from the protected characteristics & stated why it was important. The equality lead assured us sex & gender were the same thing and they ‘just want to pee.’

I opened an anonymous twitter account and shut my own down so I can continue to tweet but I have to be careful still. I attended WPUK (Woman’s Place UK) Conference in London & heard you (among others) speak. I completed the GRA (Gender Recognition Act) consultation response. I speak 1-2-1 with other women at work about the issues to sow the seeds & raise awareness. I cross out any survey ‘gender option and hand-write SEX-FEMALE. I financially supported your claim (and will continue to) FairCop, Safe Schools Alliance (thank God for them!) and others.

I had to close my professional account. I was made to attend two equality training sessions within a few weeks, probably because I spoke out at the first & this was followed by an online diversity module 80% of which related to trans issues & which couldn’t be passed unless you answered with gender ID language (calling a trans identified man a woman for example.)

My workload & responsibilities have been doubled, making research & writing impossible & most of my targets also impossible without working a 60-80 week. I know they want me out & I’m looking but its almost impossible with this workload.

Students have nominated me for awards but these were not even put forward for consideration until a savvy student noticed & complained.

Needless to say, only that nomination went through. It is now untenable & I’m so grateful we are working remotely.

Anonymous Academic