Author: Maya Forstater

Categories
Education Parent

If someone had told me that in 2020, women would be fighting desperately to hang on to the definition of woman I’d have thought they were crazy.

This matters to me because when I was a student in the mid-1980s, I was a feminist (of course!) but I was confident that most of the major battles had been won, and that we were on a trajectory towards genuine equality. If someone had told me that in 2020, women would be fighting desperately to hang on to the definition of woman, in order to protect our hard-won rights, I’d have thought they were crazy.

I have written to my MP, written in support of gender-critical women who raise their voices publicly, written private letters of support to those women; made FOI requests on sex/gender topics; spent several Saturdays leafleting with other women involved in the Fair Play For Women campaign to draw attention to the proposed GRA reforms; completed the govt’s GRA reform consultation questionnaire; completed Edward Lord’s (shocking) consultation on making all City of London visitor attraction toilets mixed-sex; been active on social media; written a (far too occasional) blog; taken every opportunity to talk to family and friends (and selected colleagues) about these issues; attended WPUK and Let A Woman Speak and other events; spoken at Women Say in Hyde Park on IWD 2020; with others, set up a women’s group in our city which meets regularly (before lockdown); am active in a private Slack group for GC professionals in my sector.

As a consequence I have been frozen out of the friendship group I made when my son was a baby, because one of the mothers has a “trans child”. My son has been asked by other students at school (he attends a school which is obsessively proud about its Stonewall status) if his mother is “still a TERF”.

Rachel Bosenterfer, Adult human female. Mother. Loudmouth

Categories
Parent

I don’t believe humans can change sex – that’s basic science

I’m worried about women’s sexed based rights being lost, about abusive men saying they are women because of a feeling in their head. I don’t believe humans can change sex – that’s basic science.

Being a woman is not a costume. I’m menopausal and I suffer hot flushes, heart palpitations and horrible bleeding each period. I nearly died giving birth to my first son. How can a man say is the same as me because of a feeling in his head. It’s all so wrong.

I’ve done lots of FB posts to alert my friends. I handed out leaflets for Fair Play for Women during the consultation. I have 2 x sons with special needs so can’t do much else.

I lost a few friends. I’ve had to go anon on Twitter because someone threatened by business when I was posting as myself.

JR, Adult Human Female

Categories
Healthcare Parent

My adult children think I need to educate myself

This matters to me as I cannot stay silent while women’s sex based rights are removed along with our voices. I cannot watch children & young people being indoctrinated into a harmful cult.

I have joined 2 women’s group fighting against self I D. Ideally repealing the GRA. I have written to my MP and others, I have met with my MP.  I have ‘collared’ another MP at unrelated event & sent him emails. I have spoken out at a mayoral candidate meeting and had email exchanges with said mayoral candidate. I have emailed a Baroness and had meaningful dialogue with her. I have stickered. A lot. I have attended WPUK meetings, (5 or 6) and a further meeting organised by ‘Posie Parker’. I talk to people all the time & they ‘get it’. Attended FILIA.

I have had to be extremely careful as my adult children have been taken in and think I’m needing to educate myself.  They have no idea how much campaigning I have done. I’ve been ‘doxxed’ once and am on the cusp of a second doxxing. I don’t work so the ‘only’ damage will be with the relationship I have with my children. It breaks my heart but it won’t stop me fighting.

KB, Heartbroken mother & campaigner,

Categories
Education Healthcare Parent

We are not a subset of women

This matters to me because I do not want my daughters to grow up in a world where women’s rights are diminished.  We are not a subset of women. I worry for the teenage girls in the school where I work, where they may lose their right to same sex toilets/changing rooms.

I have donated to crowdfunders. I have emailed notes of support to women under fire who express their opinion. I have spoken to my husband and children.  I would more than likely lose my job if I went public with my opinions and I cannot afford to do that.

I have not spoken up. I feel bad about this but am truly not in a position to do so….yet.

JJ

Categories
Education

I care about actual women

I’m a feminist. I care about actual women.

I’ve objected at staff training events, emailed colleagues, posted on media.

Any consequences? Snidey comments from colleagues, rejected for promotion for this

Persephone, Teacher

Categories
Education

I see the dismantling of women’s hard fought for rights

I care because I see the dismantling of women’s hard fought for rights and I care about young people’s mental health as a secondary school teacher

I have done very little online as worried about professional consequences. Have spoken with friends, family and colleagues. Have complained to Greenpeace and Amnesty International by email

Any consequences? No because haven’t dared speak up

AM

Categories
Men

He said he could no longer bring himself to believe in his transition anymore

A few years ago I got back in touch with my father whom I hadn’t seen since my mother’s death when I was 11. I discovered that he had undergone every MtF reassignment procedure one could name. This was a shock. We met up months later. At this time, he had lost someone close to him. This loss had shattered his “faith in the transition”. He said he could no longer bring himself to believe in it anymore. Despite this, my father continued – and still continues – to live “as a woman”, albeit off the drugs. As a result of this profound personal impact the issue had on me, I followed it – falcon-like, keeping track, reading everything even faintly related to it, as well as trying to understand what had led my father to his decisions.

I have kept quiet about my views on the issue at work and online.

Only a few close friends know about my father.

I suspect the “negative consequences” of speaking out are to come. We will see.

Categories
Parent

I will not be pigeon-holed into being what gender has decided for me

My lived life tells me that the experiences that I have had from the earliest age until now have been informed by my biology. It is my biology that has created the oppression that I have experienced as a woman not the social construct of gender.

I did not conform to the stereotypical image of what girls should be, and as I grew older I did not conform to gender stereotypical woman.  That said I am woman because that is my sex.

 I will not be pigeon holed into being what gender has decided for me but I will be what a woman is, a woman. The construct of gender has demanded that I should adopt a way of being that exists to satisfy the fantasies of men.  That to me is not what being a woman is.  I do not exist to conform to the whims of our patriarchal structures. Transgender politics have become a loud voice that demands women acquiesce even more to the whims to patriarchal constructs of what a women is.  It demands that the lived biological experiences of women are denied and replaced with gender identity politics which require women to consent even further to the will of men to dominate them.  It demands that ‘woman’ can only be defined by a gendered based male narrative.  If we disagree we should face violence.

I have used whatever means I can, writing letters, going on protests about the loss of single sex spaces, written articles.

I have been threatened with violence, told to expect to be raped by lesbian dicks, trolled on social media.

Paula , Educator, activist, socialist, mother

Categories
Healthcare Parent Transwidows

My husband moved out to live his new life as a woman

Those twelve months were a hell of lies and insults. 

I was told that I should be okay with him transitioning because I “had too much testosterone to be a woman, so should be happy for him to take the female role.” 

And there was a myriad of other examples of misogyny that peppered his arguments.

My children were just starting their teens and were both affected badly by this. My daughter fell out with her Dad, until she decided that she was nonbinary and then she fell out with me. We haven’t spoken in over year and she wrote to me recently to say that she is now a boy (age 18).  My son had a serious mental health issues with self harm and suicide attempts.

When this first happened, I watched friends turn themselves inside out to be understanding and to not be seen as transphobic (though my good friends didn’t take long to decide he was a git – thank god!) My gender critical views do not match with my children’s viewpoints, so I have to try and hold back from voicing how I feel at home.  And ultimately, I blame myself for everything. I can’t get away from the idea that I broke up our family and my gender critical viewpoints mean that I really am a transphobic bigot.

I follow people that have similar views to learn more about feminism and the issues around and share some of the articles that I find interesting.  I am also a teacher and occasionally have conversations with teenagers who have expressed gender confusion – discussing how gender nonconformity doesn’t mean that they are the wrong sex. 

Any consequences? Arguments with my kids, daughter leaving home.

Nicky, musician and teacher

Categories
Education Parent

It is hard to see doublethink happening in real time

It is hard to see doublethink happening in real time and doubting my own common sense.

I have ensured school’s policies do not conflate sex and gender

Have you faced any consequences? Not yet

L, Left wing school governor, parent to girls