Tag: Abuse

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Healthcare Public Sector

I have to be careful about my views at work for fear of repercussions especially when trying to raise safeguarding concerns for young children

I care about all rights and equal rights, but I am a woman, a lesbian. I have been called a terf, verbally abused on line and during marches, having to be in a group for fear of reprisal… for saying a sex and gender are not the same, being called transphobic for saying a trans woman is not a biological woman and certainly not a lesbian.

I have to be careful about my views at work for fear of repercussions especially when trying to raise safeguarding concerns for young children and people who say they are trans…without any proper evaluation or analysis of their living situation.

I’ve joined marches, online groups, twitters, help crowd funding to name a few.

I have been called terf, bitch, cunt.

DK, Womansworld65

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Others

This proposed legislation leaves women vulnerable to males

This matters to me as a concerned woman, a mum of amazing daughters, an abuse survivor. This proposed legislation leaves women vulnerable to males seeking to use legislative changes to enter women’s safe spaces

I’ve written to MP, MSP, donated to fundraisers.

Izzi

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Public Sector

I have seen first hand what male predators do and the lengths they will go to to commit their crimes

For the last twenty years I have worked with the victims of sexual assault and in child protection. I have seen first hand what male predators do and the lengths they will go to to commit their crimes.

I have no fear of transexual women, fully support them, but I am certain that self-ID will allow abusers to use the trans community as a cover. They will self ID their way into women’s spaces. You will read this and perhaps think I’m paranoid or hysterical, but the things I’ve seen leave me in no doubt of what’s happening here – the targeting of youth online, the anime, the gaming, the grown men disguising themselves as little girls, sliding their way in the LGB movement in order to make themselves seem respectable.

And, the saddest part is that the trans community will be made to suffer by association. And, don’t even get me started on the lack of care for GNC kids, the unexplored and ignored links with autism…. scandalous. My fingers are crossed for your appeal, and for Keira Bell and her case. Maybe they will wake up the world to what is really going on.

Sadly little action, I would definitely lose my job.

I rarely speak up, and am very careful who I talk to. When I do, however, I find people either agree with me or have never given the issues much thought.

Tiff, Not anti anything, just concerned, and a parent

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Healthcare Public Sector

The civil service is not impartial while it unquestioningly adopts Stonewall’s ideologies

Women and children’s safety and well-being is being rolled back. In plain sight. The civil service is not impartial while it unquestioningly adopts Stonewall’s ideologies. Women – and lesbians in particular – are afraid of speaking up. I have questioned us using Stonewall for gathering adult experiences on child sex abuse and been accused of being homophobic as a result.

I responded to GRA consultation. I’ve written to and met my MP. I’ve said no at work to the expansion of harmful practices as regards children (giving them unlicensed drugs), and blindly following Stonewall and Mermaids.

I have been accused of being homophobic and of not caring about trans people.

I care because I want to use spaces such as changing rooms, toilets, etc without being harassed and/or intimidated.

I have responded to my child’s school’s consultation on PHSE. I have reminded local organisations about the Equalities Act 2010.

A, terrified public policy woman

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Healthcare survivor

There is a special bond that forms between women in the absence of men

My adult life has been marred by bullying, invariably by men, especially those in positions of power, but also from those with whom I was intimate.

I experienced verbal and psychological abuse from my husband, directed at me and my children. I was fortunate to be directed to my local DV shelter by a friend. We did not have to move in, but received help from the wonderful women who worked there.

As I age, I find more and more relief in the company of women. There is a special bond that forms between women in the absence of men. The space feels safer and warmer, and women respond differently to one another when not subjected to the male gaze.

That women who need single-sex spaces for recovery can have that taken from them by the insistence by men who claim to be are women is almost impossibly painful. Those spaces have been set up by women, for women. I feel so angry when men demand the right to enter.

I have responded online to consultations, written to MPs and MSPs. I have donated online to campaign for women’s rights. I have spoken out on social media, using my own name, despite threats of violence, and to my career.

Until last year, I was tied up in an unhappy marriage and too unwell to travel. Now coronavirus is interfering with my freedom, but I hope to join up with other women in the near future, either to meet with  ReSisters group, or attend an organised meeting.

I have received public threats on Twitter, both of physical harm and threats to my career, one of which was a credible threat to report me to the governing body of my profession, which fortunately was not carried through.

I am fortunate to have lived in a place where I was physically out of reach for physical threats or UK police reports and therefore I have felt able to speak more freely than otherwise.

Sarah, 50ish human female

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Others

As a teenager, I told my friends to consider me a boy in a girl’s body

As someone who survived girlhood and has been forced to face the reality of my life head-on to try to heal from it, I now understand how much of the violence and disadvantages I suffered in my life as a result of people recognizing me as female and treating me according to their ideas of how a female person should be treated.

As a teenager, I told my friends to consider me a boy in a girl’s body because I knew I couldn’t live up to the stereotypes of womanhood, and I could not identify with the restrictions others placed on my freedom, intellect, physical ability, and more. If I had been raised believing that I could truly turn into a man, I would have taken that escape from the oppressiveness of my female reality.

I had to do this alone. I had no support from my family (my first and main source of patriarchal abuse), my friends (who dismissed my trauma symptoms as “girl drama”), or my professional colleagues in a male-dominated field (who simply assumed I was bad at my job and not worth training).

No girl should have to accept being treated as subhuman by the society she lives in; no girl should have to recover from abuse alone; no girl should be forced to violate her own sense of integrity by being pressured to believe that men can be women in any way.

Bellona, Former ‘boy in a girl’s body’, USA

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Others

I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian

As a woman this is very close to my heart. I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian. I also have endometriosis which is hard enough without having people tell me I can’t call myself a woman!

I have connected with radfems and gender critical feminists around the world, via Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter. I have supported other women and tried to spread awareness of the issues, and am currently in the process of organising an in-person group for women supporting women.

I’ve been sent death and rape threats for years now, suicide baiting, name calling, attempts to manipulate me and trigger my ptsd. Every day I am bombarded with hate – I have to take mini breaks every so often to manage my mental health.

K, 31, Australian, critical feminist

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Others Parent

I’m made to feel like being a regular woman is a hateful thing in itself

I care because I am a woman, a woman with a daughter. Just like me my daughter is a “Tom boy”.

I never wanted to be a girl either it’s not fun. So I ran around with a group of mostly guy friends. However I still like boys so I would date.

When I was 15 years old I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend. He must have thought that made him have some ownership over me. I was abused beaten and raped, threatened and very scared to move against him. He carefully separated me from my friends and family. He carefully destroyed me and any confidence I had.

As I got older I realized how dangerous some men really are to women. In a world that is made for men we are seen as lesser then. Anyone with a penis being in the same bathroom as me is scary. I don’t want to be scared in a bathroom or a dressing room. I also need a place to talk, having someone their who has or did have a penis would make me uncomfortable.

I’m not against Trans people. They 100% deserve safety and rights too! But why is it that for them to have rights women have to give away the safety we barely have. It feels like Trans women don’t understand and that might be because our experiences are not the same. That’s ok too.

But opening up women exclusive places because someone says they are a woman is very scary.

Biology is real! What about in sports? Will women have to compete with someone who has male biology? Just bc they call themselves a woman? It’s so not fair. This is not the society I wanted for my daughter. It’s also so confusing. I too spent my whole childhood wishing I was a boy. When my boobs came and I got my period I cried because I wanted to be a boy.

In today’s world, society would tell me to transition. But it would have been wrong for me. Now as a adult I know that I am who I am. I don’t have to change. I am a woman, a mother and I am a little rough around the edges. I keep my hair short. I dress how I want and my fiancé still loves me for me. If I had changed I never would have found my happiness.

I have tried my best to speak out on social media and raise other women up. Sadly there is a scary amount of opposition who don’t care about women’s rights they just want the title. They bring down a storm on your job, your family and everything they can attach to you. What a scary thing. Even if your boss agrees with you, they still have to fire you or lose their business!? That is terrifying.

This “agree with me or suffer the consequences” culture that’s happening. This “cancel culture” has moved to regular people. No longer does an angry mass demand a show be taken off the air.

Now they look at a small town mom and say, “agree with me or I will take everything from you”(it’s actually terrifying if you think about it.)

I’m also a artist so I use some of my art to send a message. It’s usually one drawing on black background and large vibrant words. I’m trying to reach out across the line and ask for thoughtful conversation instead of a angry swarm waiting to destroy on command. I’m no one’s enemy.

The consequences seem to be similar for everyone. Like I said before, even if I’m just asking for conversation or a debate to try and see the problems for what they are I am met with blind hate.

Like a swarm of angry bees waiting to sting whoever comes near their hive, we’re not allowed to touch this conversation. So I’ve had hateful slurs thrown at me. Long time friends have unfriended me and I’m made to feel like being a regular woman is a hateful thing in itself.

C. Mutt, I’m a mom and a Artist. My nature is to love and Create. I believe all people have the Right to be safe, happy and live their best life, USA

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Others

I have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse

As a woman I have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse, we need to have single sex spaces etc to protect women and their dignity.

I have answered the consultation, emailed my MP, posted on social media, talked to colleagues at work.

I have been called  a terf, lost friends.

Helen, Gender free adult human female

Categories
Private sector

As a cancer survivor in 2016 I made jokes about not feeling like a woman

As a cancer survivor in 2016 I made jokes about not feeling like a woman, especially as I wear trousers. Then I started to notice how organisations were starting to replace the word “women”, for example with respect to periods. Now as my daughter turns 17 and self Id and mixed sex toilets are more visible in news stories, I worry about whether she will avoid sex assault or whether she will have fewer rights than me. Also, if you can’t name or define things properly, how can you create legislation?

I gently mention to people at work if I get the opportunity to drop into a conversation or ask an innocent question but its difficult to be too obvious as although my employer isn’t too woke, they seem to be gradually heading that way. I can’t afford to lose my job, as a cancer survivor with health problems I feel I should stay where I am.

A couple of people have completely misunderstood what I’ve said. In general I am sympathetic to how people want to live their lives or live as if they were another sex but I have been appalled by “TRAs ” and the aggression and abuse and everything is transphobic. These colleagues questioned if my questions were transphobic, but it’s not the trans that’s the issue. It’s the aggression and push for self Id which is now feeling like it may encroach on my rights and my daughter’s rights very soon.

Mercury, Biological Geordie