Tag: sports

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Education Healthcare

A woman is a material reality

I know that women are punished for being women, not for pretending to be women. A woman is a material reality. Our oppression is sex-based and we need to be able to speak about it. I’m also extremely worried about the loss of single sex spaces and how that endangers women. I am disgusted that female sports are being overtaken by men and I worry a LOT about gender non-conforming children being told they’re in the wrong bodies. That is the very opposite of safeguarding. I have been terrified at the way women have been harassed, threatened, doxxed, taken to court, sacked, slandered and physically attacked for believing in the reality of biological sex, and that prevents me from saying more.

I have very occasionally tweeted about it and I have ‘liked’ tweets by others who have spoken out.

I have been roasted by acquaintances on social media. I’ve had to leave online groups. I’ve received abuse on Twitter from lots of people including a man holding a baseball bat who boasted he liked to kill TERFs.

Kath, Teacher

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Education Healthcare

This goes against all the safeguarding I have ever been taught

I care because I am a teacher, parent and Girlguiding leader and this goes against all the safe guarding I have ever been taught. This matters to me because the safeguarding and single sex spaces exist for a reason and they are trying to be removed with no proper debate. From single sex toilet, changing and sleeping provision to irreversible medical intervention to women and girls being pushed out of sport, I care and I object to women and children and lesbians and gay people being overridden like this.

I have written to my MP and MSPs. I have taken part in the Gender Recognition Act consultations in Scotland and the wider UK and shared them with friends. I have discussed this with friends. I came to it from the idea that it was like gay rights and we should all just be nice but then I read and learnt more and was horrified. Some people I really respect still post things like “Trans Women are Women” and I can only assume they haven’t yet educated themselves properly about it because I know they are not homophobic nor anti women and children’s rights. But it is very hard to persuade them.

Some I have persuaded, others we’ve agreed to disagree for now and some have stopped being friends on social media (those I knew least). As they have been told I am a bigot for thinking like this, it makes opening the conversation harder than it ought to be. There are also many people I have not dared discuss it with (I am a teacher and Girlguiding leader) as if I openly disagree with Girlguiding, I will be removed as a leader. I admire the courage of those who have stood up to them.

As a teacher I try to keep the pupils’ minds open if it comes up (it rarely does with my subject).

Saying “I think all gender stereotypes are bad” caused some discussion though and I thought that was a safe statement. I do not think young people should do anything irreversible and hormones and “puberty blockers” are just that.

We need far more support with mental health and the wider difficulties of being a teenager in general. It’s a hard age to be.

Only a couple have stopped following me on social media. As I have a protected account I have been limited use and had limited harm.

If I were to speak out within Girlguiding, I would have to stop volunteering.

I admire those who have spoken out but haven’t done it myself as I’m scared for the consequences.

EB, Teacher, parent, Girlguiding leader

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Education Healthcare Parent

Children need to be allowed to grow up without being manipulated into fulfilling someone else’s idea of what is normal

This matters to me because my eldest son was very gender non conforming. He had an all-female friendship group at school; hated sport; did four dance classes a week; wore bright colours and nail varnish; and dressed-up as female characters on World Book Day and the Golden Jubilee – he made a lovely princess! 

We always told him there’s no right way to be a boy and celebrated his confidence. His two best family friends were ‘trad’ boys and they are still his best friends today. He is now 16, wears mainly black and navy and alongside his one remaining dance class, he does weight training and plans to take up American football!  He’s had a girlfriend, has a diverse friendship group and loves his life as a teen boy. He is horrified when he reads about gender non conforming kids like him being told they are the really the opposite sex. When I read about Mermaids CEO Susie Green’s child, who sounded just like my son as a toddler, my heart breaks. I firmly believe that you don’t really get to know yourself until after puberty.

If an adult wishes to transition, I hope they get the best care and support but children need to be allowed to grow up without being manipulated into fulfilling someone else’s idea of what is normal.

I have written to my MP and various Labour leadership candidates; signed petitions; attended Women’s Place UK and argued gently with friends (either young women or older men in the tech industry) although most of my friendship group and their children agree with me.

A friend from my MA course challenged me about liking ‘transphobic’ tweets. We had a brief, polite discussion and she unfollowed me.

Vee, Teacher

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Education Parent

I am a teacher and I know I would lose my job if I was too vocal

I’m a woman with a daughter. The world is already difficult enough in terms of inequality.

It concerns me that my daughter will be made to feel as though she’s ‘wrong’ if she doesn’t conform to the gender stereotypes charities like Mermaids seem to use as a sign someone is trans. I was a tomboy but I’m still female. I don’t wear sexy short skirts but I’m still female.

I believe women have the right to single sex spaces. It is patently unsafe to allow men who self id as women into women’s toilets, prisons, hospital wards, refuges, changing rooms. If a third space is needed, it should not replace female space

I worry about young lesbians being told they’re wrong for not accepting male genitals in a sex partner.

I am concerned about women’s sports. It’s already subject to inequality. Allowing male bodied people to compete as women will wipe out female sport.

I am concerned that women are being ignored and erased.

I haven’t experienced any negative consequences, because I am careful with the people I voice my opinion to.

I am a teacher and I know I could lose my job if I was ‘too vocal’.

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Education

Self id worries me immensely

This matters to me for ethical and religious reasons.  Being a woman is a physical reality and that reality has led to women being discriminated against for centuries. Self ID worries me immensely because it feeds in the idea that the physical reality of sex no longer matters and could lead to exclusion of women from work and sports especially in minority communities.  In a word it is not progress.

I have discussed this issue with friends and colleagues and spoken to my line manager in confidence.

I haven’t had any consequences, but there might be if I decided to go more public on the issue.

A. A.

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Parent

Our personal spaces are being invaded

I first became aware if this issue when I saw reports about men in women’s sports about 9 months ago. As a sports fan I was outraged and started to look into it on Twitter,  which is how I came across Maya, self id,  Debbie Hayton etc. I had no idea! As a woman and a mother i am outraged that our rights are being disregarded, our personal spaces are being invaded and women are subject to so much violence and abuse.

Until now i have only been brave enough to discuss this within my immediate family, but as a result of seeing this, today I contacted my 25 year old niece to see how much she knows and to voice my concerns. I know she has gay and trans friends but we have had the start of a good conversation and she has asked for more articles to read.

My son refused to discuss as he has trans friends and assumed i was being transphobic.

Diane, Woman, mother

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Healthcare Parent

It is conversion therapy

I care because over the course of my life, I’ve experienced a lot of harassment from strange men, who followed, intimidated, groped, flashed and grabbed me, most of it in public. I’m therefore under no illusion that there are men who behave this way and therefore women need single-sex spaces to minimise risk of it (or worse) happening to them.

Men have physical advantage over women, and that is why sports have been segregated by sex and must remain that way.

I’m also aghast at the science-denialism that is at the core of this movement and that children are taught it at school.

I have an autistic child so know how dangerous it is to teach autistic children that they could be “born in the wrong body”. We know that brains don’t mature until we are 25 yet we allow children to make such a huge decision – it is conversion therapy.

No one who is considered an authority on child psychology  has written or researched gender identity yet now it is pushed on children by adults with the view of legitimising their own agenda.

While I believe dysphoria is real, for some men it is clearly a paraphilia.

What have you done? Mainly donated and discussed it anonymously online, and with a couple of trusted friends. I’m on some kind of Terfblocker, but because I’m careful under my own name, I have so far avoided anything worse

Lizzie Strata

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Parent

It feels dehumanising and mysogynistic

I care about these issues as a woman, and mother of a daughter. Female only spaces, protections and boundaries should be preserved – and it should be based on biological sex rather than gender identity.

I believe my daughter and I have the right to change in an area accessible to natal females only, use female only toilets, and be on a female only hospital ward.

She should not have to give up her space on a girls sports team, girls school or any other space reserved for females, to a male. And this goes for all women and girls.

I have discussed anonymously on social media, and with (trusted) friends and family in real life. I do fear speaking out in my own name, as I have witnessed the unbelievable abuse that numerous other women have been subjected to after speaking out.

Some abuse on social media – which even when posting anonymously is distressing. I’ve been called a “TERF,” a nazi, a cunt, amongst other things… I’ve been told I want trans people “to die” – just by speaking up and saying biological women matter.

I was sent private messages: “Liar Liar, cunts on fire” – It feels dehumanising and misogynistic.

Sabrina, Woman, daughter, mother

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Parent

I have grown up with misogyny

This matters to me because I have grown up with misogyny and I have two daughters that I would like to not have to face the misogyny and harassment at work and socially that I have had. Both my daughters play sport to a high level and I see the strength, resilience and confidence this gives them. I don’t want female sport ruined by having to compete against men.

I feel I haven’t raised my voice enough and I need to

I have lost friends

Alison, Mum of teenage girls

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Parent

I am concerned that there will be no safe spaces for women

I care because as a woman I am scared of the erasure of women. I am concerned that there will be no safe spaces for women, no women in sport or industry. I care that I am being reduced to a vessel when I am referred to as a menstruator or similar dehumanising language. 

I care because I have a one year old son. I don’t want him to be told his body is wrong if he doesn’t display enough stereotypical male behaviours.

I care because I don’t believe children should be medically experimented on as we are currently seeing with puberty blockers and pathways to irreversible hormone treatments and surgeries.

I have debated this, softly, on social media. I am a, admittedly mostly quiet and learning, member of the mumsnet feminist board. I’m a member of a few gender critical social media groups. I took part in the GRA government consultation. I have resolved to write to my MP on this subject. But mostly, shamefully, I don’t speak up enough.

It’s been made very clear my social circle contains a few extremely vocal people who will loudly insist trans women are women. I’ve been labelled a terf and a bigot for things as simple as wanting to discuss the place of trans women in sports.

G