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Others

I have been met with disbelief, e.g. “that would never happen” type responses to things that have already occurred

I believe that this is part of a major rollback against women’s rights and I’m concerned for my safety and that of all women and girls if single sex spaces are lost.

I have only felt brave enough to make few anonymous posts online and tentatively mention the issues at work. I have filled out government consultations online and signed petitions too.

I haven’t been negatively affected but I have been met with disbelief, e.g. “that would never happen” type responses to things that have already occurred.

Jiggery Wokery, Politically homeless left-winger

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Others

I have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse

As a woman I have suffered discrimination and sexual abuse, we need to have single sex spaces etc to protect women and their dignity.

I have answered the consultation, emailed my MP, posted on social media, talked to colleagues at work.

I have been called  a terf, lost friends.

Helen, Gender free adult human female

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Healthcare Others

I had several large males attempt to body-block the sign I was holding

I’m an autistic woman who has real difficulty with affirming things that are obviously not true. My brain just can’t process them, so while I could try to use female pronouns about a man, I’d get it ‘wrong’ most of the time, even if I were really trying – I can say what I see or not talk at all. I’m afraid of ending up in a situation where I am legally or professionally sanctioned for something that I cannot help because of my disability.

I’ve written to my MP on several occasions, attended protests, donated to crowdfunded causes, shared articles and hosted discussions on social media.

I challenged the representative of a pro-transing-children group who came to speak at my workplace, describing my own experience as a GNC child who grew up to be a happy bisexual adult (they told me I was actually a ‘purple jelly baby’ – you can probably guess which charity).

I’m most proud of my part in raising a banner at Bradford Pride in support of lesbian women’s right to sexual boundaries and male-free spaces.

Someone made a formal complaint about me at my hobby group, resulting in a humiliating and bizarre cross-examination/lecture from the head referee. I’ve had people I’ve been friends with for years drop me without discussion, which hurt. I certainly feel more reluctant to do activities or join clubs now, particularly given that I keep my ‘wrong think’ out of unrelated activities, so someone would have had to have gone looking for evidence on my personal social media accounts.

When I protested in person, my group were not only asked whether we were a ‘hate group’ by 2 uniformed police officers, but during the event I had several large males attempt to body-block the sign I was holding, one in particular using his greater height (and girth) to physically get close to me and get in my way. I’m not a very physically imposing or confident person, so that was quite intimidating. I don’t think there’s any place for me as a bisexual at Pride any more, since they keep saying my sexuality is inherently transphobic; I’m only ever there as an activist.

J

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Private sector

It’s the worst incarnation of misogyny I have ever encountered

This matters to me as it’s the worst incarnation of misogyny I have ever encountered.

I have tried to enlighten people to what Queer Theory is and what it’s ultimate aims are and how dangerous it is for women. I mostly try in conversation- most women have no idea.

I’ve been blackballed by my Union (I’m a very active shop steward in a big Union) and in so called left-wing groups.

Sue, Working class Trade Union Rep

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Private sector

As a cancer survivor in 2016 I made jokes about not feeling like a woman

As a cancer survivor in 2016 I made jokes about not feeling like a woman, especially as I wear trousers. Then I started to notice how organisations were starting to replace the word “women”, for example with respect to periods. Now as my daughter turns 17 and self Id and mixed sex toilets are more visible in news stories, I worry about whether she will avoid sex assault or whether she will have fewer rights than me. Also, if you can’t name or define things properly, how can you create legislation?

I gently mention to people at work if I get the opportunity to drop into a conversation or ask an innocent question but its difficult to be too obvious as although my employer isn’t too woke, they seem to be gradually heading that way. I can’t afford to lose my job, as a cancer survivor with health problems I feel I should stay where I am.

A couple of people have completely misunderstood what I’ve said. In general I am sympathetic to how people want to live their lives or live as if they were another sex but I have been appalled by “TRAs ” and the aggression and abuse and everything is transphobic. These colleagues questioned if my questions were transphobic, but it’s not the trans that’s the issue. It’s the aggression and push for self Id which is now feeling like it may encroach on my rights and my daughter’s rights very soon.

Mercury, Biological Geordie  

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Healthcare Private sector

As a scientist I am offended by the lie of ladybrain

As a scientist I am offended by the lie of ladybrain.  Ignoring safeguards for women and children is madness.  The education system is being changed to lie to children.  Affirmation-only ignores the issues of autism, sexual abuse, that most children would naturally desist and many would be happy gay and lesbian young people.

I have responded to the GRA consultation, I have written to my MP, and I try to support women who speak publicly.  I donate to crowd funds for legal fees.

One woman at work won’t talk to me anymore, but primarily I have to remain anonymous because I want to protect my family from the horrific threats and abuse.

Mama Bear, Concerned for autistic children

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Parent

I have never felt more passionate on any other issue than this

I care because I have a daughter and the thought that she may grow up in a world where she will enjoy less protections than I have, terrifies me.

I feel I would be letting her down if I don’t do something to stop this erosion of women’s rights.

I have never felt more passionate on any other issue than this.

I have spoken up on social media, both under my own name and a pseudonym. I have attended several women’s events and pledged money where needed/where I can. I have spoken to most of my real life friends and family to bring them up to speed on the situation. I have written to my MP several times and I think the next step will be seeing him in person.

One long standing friend called me a transphobe a few years ago and we haven’t spoken since. I’ll never forgive her I don’t think!

We have a non binary person in my team at work and I’m terrified of there being consequences at work if I’m too outspoken about this.

Marisa C, Concerned parent

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Private sector

I wrote thoughtful, detailed letters and received responses from very few

This matters to me because the words ‘woman’ and ‘female’ need to mean something if we intend to use them as a practical and meaningful way to categorise and protect a class of people. If female also means male, it effectively means nothing at all. We need female to mean something specific because we need to be able to speak about, discuss, monitor, evaluate and address the very specific life experiences, oppressions, health issues and prejudices experienced exclusively by females.

Sex is just what we are, it’s not an identity, it’s not a feeling, we become female at conception and we die female. If they dig us up in 200 years they’ll be able to tell we were female, they won’t know (or care) how we chose to identify. Life as female human beings means a different path to navigate than life experienced by males. That’s true no matter how you identify. I won’t swap that basic material fact, rightly defined in for something as flimsy, fluid, subjective and restrictive as gender. I am female, but I reject gender stereotypes forced on females.

Gender stereotypes don’t help females, and they don’t help males either. Live as you choose, be ‘who’ you want to be, but protect in law those who are disproportionately advantaged for their sex – for ‘what’ they are.

I have written letters to politicians, elected representatives and councillors. I wrote thoughtful, detailed letters and received responses from very few. The responses I received were often cagey, tentative, and most avoided the questions I asked, or declined to comment on practicalities of GRA legislation. Often I received basic responses  from staffers that basically just ignored everything I asked and instead pointed me to inadequate sources that they insisted would “educate” me, even when I sent letters containing credible references, evidence and stats of my own. It was very clear that several were anxious about the subject, and others didn’t understand the complexity and felt unable to address questions competently. 

I can count the number of politicians who actively engaged on one hand,  most  of them openly agreed with my points and were able to offer informed commentary, and only one didn’t agree but was still willing to discuss. I can’t reveal who that is because they’d probably be kicked out of their party. Politicians seem either poorly informed or frightened to discuss.

I have attended multiple meetings of women’s groups. Only one has passed without threats, protest, disruption or violence against the attendees. All of these meetings welcomed trans attendees, often had trans speakers and opposition campaigners in attendance were always given time to speak.  I have worried for my own safety too many times. We never go alone, we organise ourselves to arrive in groups.

I have attended peaceful protests at Parliament. The only disruption or aggression came from  those who attended to disrupt speakers. Babies to 90s, male and female, plenty trans people too, but coverage always characterises you as “angry middle aged women” 

I have delivered leaflets across my city. I financially support my local grassroots group. I sign and share petitions. I created a GRA reform PowerPoint for elderly women’s group who felt too frightened to ask for info.

I have to be very careful because I know that being vocal about this may lead to activists trying to pressure my employer to sack me.

I work in a role/industry that doesn’t welcome public political opinions. I would love to say more about what I do and why it demonstrates my active, personal and professional commitment to meaningful diversity and inclusion but I can’t. 

I am a member of a political party and attended a local party social group for women for some months. A prominent male GRA campaigner started to attend these women’s group meetings and was hostile from the start. He took photos of our group, shared them online, connected my image and name with my social media, labelled me as “anti-trans” which I’m not at all, and effectively doxxed me. I had to stop attending the women’s group. I’m angry about it but couldn’t fight back,  I need to protect my family and my livelihood. I can speak my mind freely when it affects only me, but I can’t risk those around me, and that risk is real.

I can truthfully say that I have always been careful in expressing my views, never abusive, but I have still received death threats, abusive comments, sexually violent threats. I have been doxxed. Many women I know have experienced so much worse. That’s the reality of it.

GeorgieM

Categories
Healthcare Parent

I have two very young daughters and I want to be able to look them in the eye when they’re old enough to understand

I care about safeguarding, I care about children being taken down irreversible pathways medically, I care about women’s sports, I care about freedom of speech and I care about us not being seen as non-men or as second-class citizens.

I have two very young daughters and I want to be able to look them in the eye when they’re old enough to understand and we look back on this lunacy and laugh.

I am using my expertise in the sports and charities sectors to help both a grassroots women’s organisation and an LGB organisation with their campaigns and administration, respectively.

I have raised the issue at work, helping to influence policy, and I’ve discussed with friends and family, who know I can be trusted as a sounding board on the issue.

I have retweeted relevant articles on twitter in my real name (I have about ten blue tick followers, mainly sports celebrities, out of about 850 so hopefully some will take note).

I donate to crowdfunders and to the grassroots movement by standing order and I made a substantial donation to lumos to say thank you to JKR.

One of my best friends and I had a row about men using loopholes to access women’s spaces. We’ve been friends for more than ten years and I was frightened at how angry he got with me. Our friendship is only (just) surviving because I’m friends with his wife, too, otherwise I’m sure it’d be over.

Claire G, I’d rather this went away so I can concentrate on more fun stuff

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Parent Private sector survivor

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs

This matters to me because I am a 40 year old mother of a 4 year old daughter. I have been sexually assaulted (police involved) at my place at work as a steward at a premier league football club. I took it in my stride but my wonderful male supervisor witnessed it and had to remind me that it was unacceptable and called the police for me (I was conditioned to accept groping/casual sexual assault).

Beaten by a boyfriend between the ages of 16 and 19. Been called frigid/loose as a school girl by school boys. Flashed 3 times as a teenager, the third time the male adult masturbated in front of me. Received comments about my body/appearance constantly since teenage years. Sexually assaulted on a train at night, reported to police the next day, nothing they could do.

Most of this took place in PUBLIC! Fuck inviting this to a private (previously) safe space where nudity is involved.

I am an HR Manager and have supported a male colleague through transition. He subsequently gaslighted me and started using the female toilet 24 hours after becoming a trans woman, in the flick of a switch.

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs. I ended up triggered and in counselling and uncomfortable to now use the shared toilets.  I don’t want this shit for my daughter. I DON’T WANT THIS SHIT FOR ANYONE!

I’ve followed feminists and dipped my toe in the water by asking Jon Ronson exactly what he felt that Graham Linehan had done wrong. Got threatened, terfed and gaslit. I am now prepared to level up!

I have also been berated and hated on by my woke sister, who in fact in her youth, witnessed me being beaten by my then boyfriend on more than one occasion. 😦

Owning womanhood for the first time in my life, anakindrytalker