The Gender Dissidents SurveyI care about the harm being done to children and young people especially girls – physical and mental damage as well as misinformation. I care as a woman losing what used to be single sex spaces.
I have complained to the body administering a post graduate student survey when gender id was a required answer. I complained after visiting the Hayward Gallery that the female toilet had been made unisex.
D ATTAR , Second wave feminist
I care because I am unwilling to give away my rights and those of my daughter, granddaughter, other family, friends, in fact every female of any age. Women (and some men) fought hard to get the rights we have, the least I can do is protect them, and even strengthen and improve them, for the future.
I was a typical tomboy as a child; I dread to think what would become of me now. I remain utterly baffled as to how anyone can think medicalising children because of their personality can ever be right, and how can anyone truly believe a man becomes a woman just because they say so?
I found other women who felt the same way I do, via Mumsnet, via social media, by talking to people in real life.With their help and support I was able to develop my views and become more confident in talking about them. I joined a political party, I started a petition, I attended events.
I continue to strive to spread awareness of what is going on via my social media presence and by speaking out whenever I can, writing letters (good old fashioned pen and paper ones!), sending emails, responding to campaigns and crowdfunders, constantly aiming to amplify other women’s voices, and those of our allies. I boycott companies (like M&S) who show no respect for their female customers and I tell them why. Lots of tiny things, but if enough of us do them, they have a massive effect eventually.
My views have been called a bigoted and transphobic by women who I thought knew me and respected me. I have been ostracised from an online social group I actually started. I have received dreadful online abuse from strangers, but it is the condemnation from people who I thought were friends that hurts the most. Many friends supported me during this, but did so privately, they were not willing to publicly support me within the group which was hard to deal with.
On the positive side, it has strengthened some friendships; shown me who truly ‘has my back’, and I have made a group of new female friends and acquaintances who fill me with hope and enthusiasm to keep fighting this grim ideology.
Karen, Adult Human Female with a vote, CUPWomensPledge
I am a man with autogynephilia. I care about this issue, as I can see self ID has enabled, and will enable men with disordered autogynephilia to transition and involve women in sexual experiences they did not consent to.
I think that for some men with autogynephilia, it is compassionate to allow them to transition with sexual reassignment surgery, however this needs to be safeguarded by professionals, to make sure they will not abuse their new protected reassignment status.
I can see from Canada, how men with autogynephilia have transitioned under self ID without safeguards or medical requirements, who have then gone onto abuse their new protected status to involve or coerce women into sexual experiences they did not consent to.
A man with autogynephilia, Canada
When I was twelve years old I sat dripping tears onto my homework and whispered, “I wish I were a boy” I thank God that I did not grow up nowadays, when some woke guidance counselor would have taken me under her wing, helped me “become a boy,” and ruined my life.
I wanted to be a boy because I perceived boys had more opportunities–because something was wrong with society, not because something was wrong with my body. That suffering children today are being politicized and sterilized appalls me. I do not support the labeling of gender non-conforming behavior in kids as something that needs chemical or surgical treatment.
Also as a queer woman who experiences primarily same-sex attraction, I agree with Rowling that erasing the significance of biological sex erases the reality of same-sex attraction. That the LGB community is willfully, collectively turning a blind eye to this stuns me.
So far I have done little, out of fear. This February, a trans-woman coworker wrote a threatening open letter in my company’s internal newsletter, saying that “harmful and transphobic” reading material had been left in the break room, and that this would be dealt with as harassment if the person was found out. It turned out the material was only an article about a Pagan women’s ritual, and said nothing about transgenderism. I was deeply unsettled by this event on the heels of the ruling against Maya, and sobbed in the shower over fear of job security.
Around that time I discovered and reached out to the LGB Alliance based in Britain. I went on a silent meditation retreat specifically to receive wisdom of what to do, both at work and in my personal life, with the culture wars having taken the turn they have. When I came back I felt the courage to write a letter to my (very SJA) manager expressing my concern about the coworker’s threats.
She told me I cannot be fired for my views, though she also said something vague about how everyone must be “comfortable” at work. HR asked her to serve as oversight for the internal newsletter so that false claims of what constitutes harrassment do not find their way into it again. So that is a small win.
I have made one social media post defending J.K. Rowling–not her views, openly, but just her character and her right to speak. The response was that she may hold her views in good faith, but they are still “appalling,” “hurtful,” and comparable to racism.
Summer 2017 I worked as program manager at an Episcopal camp. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my adult life. The first week someone on staff brought up gender theory, I made a couple comments of courteous critique, and was met with extreme suspicion. I quickly came to understand that if I were honest with others about my views, I would be fired; a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was in place. As I was dependent on this job for housing as well and had no savings, I would have literally been on the street. Some of my subordinates came to recognize my economic dependency and gender-critical views, and used the combination to flout my authority. They took to being very disrespectful in meetings, knowing that if I called them out, they had “blackmail.” After that experience, instead of facing my predicament honestly—that I can’t make myself believe in much of gender theory, and therefore have to become strong enough to be despised—I buried it and numbed. I shrunk from life and didn’t let anyone get too close to me. I didn’t date because of this gender chaos, even though one of my biggest goals in life is to marry and have a family.
It all started coming to a head when I found out last fall about Maya Forstater’s case. I empathized with Maya being fired for her views on gender, as I knew the same would have happened to me. I donated $20 to her legal campaign. So the negative consequences for me the past three years have largely been stagnation and a sense of self-betrayal for NOT speaking up. When I do, I will probably lose most people in my life–my liberal church, my academic friends, my Facebook groups. And I’m not sure what I’ll build upon the rubble, as it’s hard for a feminist queer woman to just run across the street to the Right. But as a wise person said, “If you want to be loved, you must be willing to be hated.” I’m getting there. I don’t want to live like this for much longer.
E.J., who is very glad there was no one to help me “become a boy” when I was a confused, gender-nonconforming queer girl, USA
I care because women’s rights are new, fragile and threatened. And trans ideology is not only dangerous but absurd.
I actively support Speak Up For Women, a New Zealand group fighting against sex self-id.
I have lost clients, been threatened, been smeared by activists and by journalists working in national mainstream media.
Sunil W, self employed/ own business, New Zealand
First and foremost, I am a survivor of severe, organised abuse in childhood.
Secondly, I have worked for decades for women and vulnerable people, including as a human rights lawyer for victims of violence, as a writing teacher with mothers in prison and the community and in groups campaigning on consent.
Thirdly, I am a bisexual woman and was on the ‘gay scene’ for years.
Fourth, I am a parent and work often in education and concerned with safeguarding. I care deeply about this issue because whilst I think every consenting adult is free to have their own beliefs and make choices about their body, the TWAW lobby is infringing the human rights of others, with harmful implications and it is constantly threatening and seeking to close down freedom of speech.
I have spoken about this issue on social media and in real life for the past three or more years. I have written countless posts and emails and I have kept a diary on this issue to process my own thoughts before formulating my own speech in what can be a fast paced and abuse-oriented environment on social media.
I have been called a “terf” many times. I have been ostracized by a group of women campaigning with me on abortion rights (though remained good friends with others). On social media I have been told directly that I am “fascist scum” or I have been patronized as an abuse survivor who is somehow biased, disregarding my qualifications as a human rights lawyer and background supporting people. Other negative consequences include the mental health toll of constantly being “gaslit” implying that I am the person in the wrong. A tactic used by those who want to reframe reality the world over and I know that, yet still so sad and wearing!
Anna Morvern, Writer, speaker, teacheryer, translator
This matters to me because my daughter is a county level swimmer and self-Id for kids will be abused by ultra competitive parents, ruining her experience.
Also because single sex spaces need to remain single sex to provide safe spaces for dressing, treatment and recovery.
I have talked to friends and relatives. It did not go to well.
I have been told I’m a rude intolerant woman who have no idea how miserable ALL trans peoples lives are.
Elaine, Mother, swimmer, guide leader, Ireland
I care about this issue because it erodes women’s sex-based rights and causes harm to people who will end up regretting medical transition. Gender identity ideology is incoherent and implicitly relies on, and promotes, regressive sexist stereotypes. Legislating that people must regard male people as female or vice versa is profoundly illiberal and undermines freedom of conscience.
The way in which gender identity ideology has been promoted has resulted in a stifling of normal and essential debate in clinical and political arenas. This has meant that in discussions about serious medical treatment for children, political aims have superseded good medical practice, which is extraordinary. How can anyone not care about that?
I have written to a small political party I used to be a member of, sadly with little effect, and written to other politicians. I’ve donated to gender critical projects. I’ve set out my arguments on Twitter. I decided to do this under my own first name and profile photo, which scared me as I’d seen the abuse that other women had received. But as the views of gender critical people are so routinely misrepresented, I felt I had to do this.
People who know me know that I am not a right wing fundamentalist: I supported gay marriage, raised money for refugees, and am an environmentalist. I wanted my followers to see that someone with similar views to them on other things was gender critical, in the hope they’d listen to the arguments.
When I decided to speak up, I gave up my business account on Twitter. I suffer from anxiety and I knew that I couldn’t handle it if I started getting abuse on there, I wouldn’t be able to defend myself properly.
It’s not as difficult to argue back from a personal account. I think I was right to do so, having seen what happened to Jess de Waal (an embroidery artist who was targeted after speaking up). If I wasn’t financially secure I probably would not have spoken up, I’ve certainly lost sales over it.
The debate has affected my mental health but it would have done so even if I’d remained silent – the disingenuousness of many who smear gender critical women has really astonished me. It’s made me despair because the scientific community has gone along with all this, I’ve lost a lot of the faith I had in people and in democratic checks and balances. I’ve lost one or two friends over it but not many.
Sheena, Ireland
Sex based protection of women is so important to me.
Biological facts are important to me. I’m from a relatively poor country (India). Girl children are killed at birth. Ultrasound sex determination is illegal. Life is often misery for girls and women since they are born. Only the privileged can afford to lose the definition of “woman” diluting it to something as offensive, arbitrary, and irrational as a “feeling” or “emotions” or “assertion” (“if someone says they’re a woman she’s a woman”).
I’m tired of it. I’m exhausted. I’m losing hope for the future of left-wing and liberal thought in India.
I approached the discussion with two of my closest friends, both very liberal. One refused to reply at all. Saying my fears are “cis paranoia” (does she not see waving away my doubts as misogyny?) and transwomen are literally dying because of cis women’s paranoia. After gaslighting me for my worry about losing laws, reservations, protections under the definition of the word “woman”, she stopped replying. I doubt we have a friendship any longer. Other friend told me she’s shocked and uncomfortable with the discussion. I asked her to define the word woman and she said she didn’t know how to define it. An educated woman unable to define the word woman out of fear.
Doubt either will want to be my friend any longer. I spoke to my family about it. They agree. They live in the real world not on twitter so to them it is obvious women are women, and transwomen are transwomen. One of my friends accepted my position and understands deeper that gender stereotypes are a human creation to maintain the patriarchy.
Tired of men, tired of feminine socialization, tired of fear, India
This matters to me because single-sex spaces are a human right.
I have discussed the topic in private, and written polite, fact-based letters to the editor.
I have been utterly ignored by all editors. Apparently, the press isn’t interested in readers thinking for themselves and asking critical questions. (Unless they are celebrities, of course.)
Anonymous, Survivor, fed up with misogyny, Germany
The Gender Dissidents Survey