Tag: Abuse

Categories
survivor

I honestly start to cry when I realise that Stonewall are callous enough to want to take that away

After I did the Freedom Programme I noticed that I had a sort of bodily trauma response if I couldn’t control my boundaries around unfamiliar men.  Even at the door of my own house.

 Actually that experience had always been there, but I hadn’t recognised it before.  I have trans people in my life and I read them as trans people – there’s a mix of male and female characteristics there – so I get that response less but it’s still there. 

When I started to  understand what Stonewall are doing I was horrified.  Firstly, there absolutely must still be single sex services for domestic abuse victims. I honestly start to cry when I realise that Stonewall are callous enough to want to take that away.  That is nothing to how I felt when I read the Stronger Together guidance endorsed by Scottish Women’s Aid that advises actively gaslighting women who are victims of domestic abuse. 

I needed a safe space full of women to discuss and process what happened to me, and I’m so grateful to my local Women’s Aid for doing that. 

My mother in particular kept pressuring me to center the needs of my abusive husband, and it was really hard to hold my own reality.  I clung to anyone who would let me have my own reality.  Here are Scottish Women’s Aid, signing up to taking women’s reality away.  They could have said, no we won’t use our position of power to deny women’s reality or diminish the importance of their feelings about that. 

Secondly, I saw that Stonewall want to remove any safeguards from obtaining a GRC, and that this would mean male presenting male people in women’s spaces.  I can probably work with male people who have actually transitioned in public toilets.  I can possibly work with male people who have actually transitioned and are very very careful in public changing rooms.  I am willing to do that for people diagnosed with gender dysphoria.   Self ID proposes that any male presenting as male can use any women’s space without being careful, and I can’t work with that.

I have completed consultations in long rambling ways, trying to put in as much as possible.  I have spoken to people who I believe to be open to different points of view.  I have a Conservative MP, and there is the one advantage to having a Conservative MP that she actually might be receptive to this.  I am afraid I am a bit late to the party, as it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve really been aware of this stuff and capable of actually doing anything, because I was very overwhelmed by the domestic abuse.

I’ve experienced the general of being called a TERF.  The term TERF means “woman against whom it is acceptable to perpetrate misogynistic abuse and violence”.  It’s distressing for any woman to be called that.  It does trigger something particular for me.  Especially when women use it and give validity to the idea that it can be legitimate to perpetrate misogynistic abuse.  Especially when women argue that we must accept or ignore the misogynistic abuse because of the terrible suffering of trans people. 

My mother said to me, “you might have to put up with a bit of abuse”.  That is essentially what liberal feminists are saying when they use the term TERF.  It just makes me feel trapped again with no refuge.

As an only parent, I don’t get to participate in public life very much.  I can only really go places where my son can come as well.  The only other place I could speak up is work, and I work for a local branch of a national charity that is fairly woke.  In any event the issue doesn’t really come up very often in the rural part of the country where I live. 

Kimberly

Categories
Voluntary sector

It has been stressful and frustrating for myself and other staff

I care because in my organisation, I have found that the constant blurring of sex, gender and gender identity in organisational policies, blogs, guidelines and training materials at best undermines their effectiveness, and at worst installs regressive and harmful stereotypes.

I care because I value the power of data to advance the rights of all, and am deeply concerned about the quality of my organisations’ evidence when we use confusing terms like ‘non-man’ or ‘woman-identifed’ in staff or community surveys.

I care because women in the UK are losing their jobs or on ‘performance improvement plans’ for speaking up.

I care because I think there is real work that must take place to fight genuine anti-rights actors and human rights abuses around the world, and until we tackle head-on the issues of conflicting rights we cannot move forward.

I have rewritten guidelines, tools, research papers and strategic documents that: used gender identity instead of sex; included incorrect or problematic definitions of gender; did not use the word women in the name of inclusion and intersectionality. 

I have carefully spoken to staff across the organisation about this issue – always from a rights-based perspective – asking questions, sharing blogs or studies when relevant. I have repeatedly attempted to influence senior managers to follow correct Equality Act legislation rather than Stonewall guidance (with partial success). I have flagged reputational risks of alienating female supporters.

I have listened to women who have been told their feminism is ‘trash’ (by men) and spent time explaining to staff why calling other staff members ‘TERF’ is unacceptable, whilst trying my best to build bridges across staff communities. I have lobbied for spaces to discuss these issues in the workplace.

The negative consequences have been opaque and veiled warnings: be careful, get in line, be inclusive.

There have been impacts on workloads – without a serious policy framework language must be agreed on an exhausting and time consuming case-by-case basis. Hours have been spent drafting detailed policy recommendations that carefully address conflicts of rights which are swiftly ignored or rebutted with the mantra ‘we will be inclusive’ with no time spent engaging in any of the substance.

On an emotional level, it has been stressful and frustrating for myself and other staff. I know a number of staff who feel silenced, and unable to discuss openly on our online work platform because of the backlash, which has included warnings by senior managers. Meanwhile, potentially negative impacts of policy capture and new strategic direction on the communities we work with are yet unknown and unexplored.

Anonymous, Working on Women’s Rights for a UK INGO

Categories
Voluntary sector

I should be able to go swimming by myself safely and with dignity

I care about this issue because I am a woman. I am 5’2″, and don’t have local friends. I do a lot of stuff by myself as my close friends are out of county. I don’t want to be excluded from public spaces on the basis that I’d be uncomfortable sharing intimate spaces with biologically intact males. I should be able to go swimming by myself safely and with dignity.

I have used gender neutral spaces in the past, but when I was ready to leave, I found myself anxious about my safety because I could hear a group of male voices that I knew I’d have to walk through. As a short woman, I am aware of my vulnerability. I have only been subjected to minor abuses by males in my life, and I can’t imagine how much more afraid I would be if I was a survivor of rape or physical violence.

I have posted my thoughts on my Twitter page. I also try to support people who are able to make more of a stand by contributing to Crowdfunding projects.

I have lost followers, some were online friends I’d known for nearly 10 years. Some I found bitching about how my opinion represented a character flaw or represented bigotry. While a minor problem, it was hurtful.

I only feel comfortable expressing my opinion on Twitter, which doesn’t have identifiable details on it, and in order to do this I deleted my LinkedIn account so that people couldn’t picture search for me. I need a DBS to work and am anxious to avoid vexatious complaints. It’s worth pointing out that I am generally supportive of trans people and wish them to have good legal protections against harassment and discrimination. I just want to maintain single sex spaces as well.

L, Charity worker

Categories
Others

I’ve been blocked on Twitter by Frankie Boyle, Jolyon Maugham and John Nicolson MP – is this a negative?

This matters to me because it has revealed to me how fragile women’s rights are. The attempt to redefine us out of existence is the biggest threat to the rights our foremothers fought for. We mustn’t let them down.

I’ve spoken to friends, relatives and colleagues, I’ve written to political representatives, I’ve donated to crowdfunders, I’ve met MSPs, I’ve responded to Government consultations, I’ve badgered friends and relatives at home and abroad to respond to consultations, I’ve joined a campaign group, I’ve delivered leaflets to people’s doors, I’ve leafletted in the street and at football matches, I’ve set up stalls on high streets and talked to members of the public, and I’ve been to demos.

I’ve been blocked on Twitter by Frankie Boyle, Jolyon Maugham and John Nicolson MP – is this a negative??? When leafleting with a friend we were abused by a group of people who called us terfs. A meeting I attended was aggressively protested by transactivists. To be honest though, any negative consequences are massively outweighed by the positive. I’ve loved the campaigning and I’ve loved meeting some fantastic women. I’m still terrified at the assault on our rights, but I love my terfy friends!

Kate

Categories
Healthcare Others

Scotgov have effectively erased adult human females from legislation

This matters to me because pseudo-science, with zero-material evidence to support it, is used promote the lie that children can have a brain that ‘thought processes’ like that of the opposite sex. This is used to commit sterilisation and irreparable FGM on teenage girls and MGM on teen boys….crimes in my opinion endorsed by Government, committed by the NHS. Lifelong damage, just as child sexual abuse causes lifelong damage.

Women and girls safe/r spaces are being destroyed, placing them at greater risk of sexual crimes. Girls being forced to share changing rooms with naked men, as these men can watch girls getting undressed….all came about because Scotgov funded numerous trans-lobby groups who misdirected schools, womens orgs,  NHS, prisons re womens rights to single-sex spaces. Women imprisoned with violent men, incl rapists.

The rights to equal and fair treatment fought for by women…are being taken by men…handed to them by Government. Women’s scholarships, grants, sports opened up to men….effectively re-imposing the disadvantage in society that women fought against. Scotgov have effectively erased adult human females from legislation because any man can ‘identify’ into being a woman. We don’t exist in Law!

The Police, NHS, local Govt, central Govt, Education depts have all been complicit in imposing and enforcing trans-ideology across society.

I have leafleted on the streets and through doors, worked on stalls to inform the public, and talk to everyone I can, every chance I can. left leaflets on buses, chatted at bus stops, in supermarket queues. I have challenged politicians…only to find they are not interested…in fact, they have gaslighted me, used sneering, mocking tones, lyingly misrepresented most of what has been said to them (social media).

Consequences to speaking out have seen me threatened with rape, with being shot, battered. Told I am a bigot, to STFU, and have men tell me, a lesbian, that they are lesbians, been exposed to d*ck pictures. My mental health has been very seriously impacted, to the point of extreme rage, overwhelming hopelessness, violent and suicidal thoughts. There will be no forgiveness for this travesty against women and children.

Les, No forgiveness!

Categories
Public Sector

I’m concerned about the future of girls’ sports

I resent my 52 years of experience as a woman including much hardship, abuse, and discrimination being equated with the sudden whim of a 13 year old boy who likes glitter and nail polish. I’m concerned about the future of girls’ sports.

I’ve tweeted in support of JK Rowling twice.

I’ve been unfollowed on Twitter by 10% of my followers. 18 librarians told me I needed to resign as well as unfollowing me. One librarian attempted to doxx me by looking me up and reporting me to the director.

Jill, Librarian in VA, USA

Categories
Public Sector

I have joined the equality committee of my union to try to make a difference.

I am worried about the effect of transgender ideology on women’s rights. For example, “gender” replacing “sex” on official forms, equality law being misrepresented with “gender Identity” cited as a protected characteristic when it is not and “sex” omitted, former women’s toilets being made “gender neutral” while the men’s is left as it is and the overall misogyny of a movement that insists on labelling women “cis” and calling us “transphobic” for wanting to talk to other women about our bodies.

I have posted on social media (Twitter) anonymously. I am afraid to use my real name because of the hatred and harassment by trans activists I have seen. I have stated concerns in a “feminist” group on Facebook but was thrown out by a man for refusing to state “TWAW”. I have discussed the issues with friends in real life. I have stated concerns about the lack of women’s toilets in a union meeting. I have joined the equality committee of my union to try to make a difference.

I have been removed from an online “feminist” group and been shouted down at a trade union meeting. I have been verbally abused on social media which confirms that my decision to remain anonymous is the correct one.

Sarah B., Feminist who believes that any form of feminism that centres male people is not feminism

Categories
Healthcare Public Sector

I work in a university where there are no female toilets anymore

I care because self id has swept into every single workplace throughout the UK with no change in the law. I work in a university where there are no female toilets anymore, where disabled toilets have been renamed accessible to open them up for Trans/Non binary.

A disabled toilet loses all meaning if you open them up to everyone. They are scarce as it is.

But while it has swept in under the guise of Stonewall training, it cannot be questioned.  You must not speak badly about any aspect.

As it stands there is nowhere a woman can go where a man cannot follow.

I’ve shared posts on social media, shared facts about the equality act, donated to crowd funding.

I am threatened every day on social media. Called a Nazi, told I should be raped, told I shouldn’t have children because I’m a horrible human. Told they will find me and rape me with their “Lady cock” called a bitch, whore, hater of trans women.

It’s never ending abuse.

Eve

Categories
Public Sector

I didn’t realise how much I cared until I started reading J K Rowling’s essay

I didn’t realise how much I cared until I started reading J K Rowling’s essay. After I read that, and read the abuse she was receiving on social media , I got more and more angry at the state of affairs today in which stating a scientific fact can receive such vulgar backlash. I’m scared of this mob-like culture and where it will lead. We’ve gone down a social media rabbit hole.

I have retweeted information on social media. I’m scared to do anything else in case it affects my chosen career down the line. I also opened a discussion with my close family.

I’m afraid of any real life consequences if I do say anything more.

L, I Stand With J K Rowling

Categories
Healthcare Public Sector

It seems like everything is up for grabs

This matters to me because I see opportunities being stripped from women and girls on a systematic basis. Women’s spaces, women’s sport, women’s identities – it seems like everything is up for grabs.

I have voiced my opinion on social media, and made sure that my children hear my side of the argument.

Tons of abuse, threats of doxxing (although I am very careful because I would be sacked), threats of assault.

Clytemnestra , Geordie Mum. Quiet-abiding, rarely raise my head above the parapet