Tag: children

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Healthcare trans familiy

They do not know about the men demanding to shower with woman and girls in their changing rooms

In addition to the natural fairness, and women’s entitlement to their own safe spaces, my niece was inculcated into the trans cult -she is lesbian, on the autism spectrum and spent 2+ years in therapy before deciding not to go down the transmen route and has instead become a non-binary pan-sexual lesbian.  Tranns-children is child abuse, pure and simple.

I’ve just done social media stuff.  Mainly Twitter.  Tried on FB, but most people do not want to listen and still assume trans is akin to gay/lesbian and is not relevant to their lives or their children’s lives.  They do not know about the men demanding to shower with woman and girls in their changing rooms or demanding access to female only safe spaces.

I have been blocked or unfriended on social media.

Paul M, Luddite IT developer

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Healthcare Parent trans familiy

Strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story

I care because my 12 year old daughter announced she is trans and is socially transitioning 11 months ago. I care because strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story. I care because my 12 year old daughter has been asking to go on hormone blockers before puberty because they’re safe. I care because it feels like my daughter is being taken away from me.

It was very clear to me from the beginning that raising my voice in any visible way would very quickly lead to being cast as transphobic and bigoted, someone to be excluded and worked around. I have spent months looking to understand what is going on, how the machine works. I have learnt that as a parent I am up against YouTube with adults selling the transgender story to my daughter. I am up against a local LGBTU+ youth charity tutoring my daughter privately on the transgender story. I am up against the NHS with their services to process the transgender story. I am up against my daughter’s school who are validating and authenticating the transgender story, and I am up against my ex wife who affirms the transgender story.

The transgender story is just that, it’s a story. Someone has made it up. There’s no science, there’s no law. But it’s story that is consuming children, women and parents to provide evidence the story is real, that it’s not a story. It’s as big a story as creationism, as big a story as Father Christmas.

The machine is literally just that, a machine, at its core it’s just a defined pathway of tick boxes to account for and ultimately protect institutional decisions. Its purpose is to provide a group of adults with validation the story they made up is real, based on children lives. The machine’s existence in this country is an outcome of institutional neglect and cowardice, my disbelief has no bounds.

Raising my voice means a number of things. Being the best possible dad I can be, be more available and listen more. Keeping close to the YouTube algorithm to see what’s being pushed to my daughter. Making it clear that the LGBTQ+ youth charity does not have my parental permission to continue time with my daughter. Telling the GP that I do not support a referral to Tavistock that my ex-wife organised. Opening up a private psychotherapy route to support our daughter with her development in a professional and open minded way. I haven’t worked out how to deal with the school. The school are more detached, their motives and use of safeguarding best practice and resources on any topic is hugely fragmented and difficult to work with.

I have benefited from the bravery of Keira Bell, and many women, teenage girls and a few men willing to put themselves on the front line of extreme personal aggression to bring this story to the attention of many people. I cannot effectively express my gratitude enough, their work is having an immediate and direct effect on offering protection for my daughter from the machine.

I have benefited from the recent political interest their work has generated, and I have benefited from Covid19 that has put a huge brake on the machine.

I contribute financially to support mumsnet in the face of the realities of #nodebate, I support crowd funding legal cases as they appear. I would like to spend more time working 121 with other parents but I don’t have the reserves of energy yet for this.

I have been called transphobic, bigoted and verbally abused for questioning the machine, questioning the story. Asking questions like what’s the rush, why does this have to happen so fast? Exactly when does professional child psychotherapy actually happen to take a look at a gently bumpy childhood? How can a LGBTU+ youth charity with no child professional qualification have such free and protected access, and influence, over a child’s life choices? Which school roles, what qualifications and what criteria do they follow to bypass my parental authority at the school? Why does social transitioning need to delete a child’s history?

I have been very careful about how and when to visibly raise my voice. I am in a fragile position where my daughter has been well tutored with the transgender story, and unqualified people have the authority to transact the transgender story without my parental authority. The natural outcome will be to reduce my role in her life to being an absent father who’s principle purpose is to provide money. That popular, age old stereotypical man we thought we’d lost many years ago.

When I did choose to raise my voice with the LGBTU+ youth charity not having my parental permission to continue their time with my daughter, my daughter attempted to work around me with the school to continue. An action the school had coached her to follow if this happened, based on the trans inclusion policy they follow. I got lucky with Covid19. The impact over the last eight months, has been massive. I have lived a life of sole dedication to this topic, it is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. This has been much, much harder to handle than our divorce, the stress has been monumental.

A dad

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Healthcare Others

That much of this bile comes from people I’m usually politically aligned with saddens me

I’ve had a long-standing interest in women’s rights because my mother was a staunch advocate for women and active locally in helping those in difficulty. I saw a lot of this while growing up and it had a profound influence on me. To see women now being dismissed as hateful bigots for wanting to protect their hard-won rights and protections is deeply troubling to me and that much of this bile comes from people I’m usually politically aligned with saddens me.

I discuss it with friends and family and I post on social media but aside from that I haven’t attended and organised meetings or anything of that nature.

One of the perks of being entirely unsuccessful career-wise is that nobody where I work could care less about my opinions.

I’ve had a frank discussion with one of my very dearest female friends whose stepson is now identifying as a woman. I was nervous about talking this through with her but in the end she was very receptive to what I said and we remain friends.

A scared feminist mother, I care because the fight for women’s rights has been brutal and hard and we are not there yet. The GRA / Trans movement is stripping away what we have fought for. We need safe spaces for women, and we need to acknowledge that sex is a protected characteristic. I am terrified for all women in hospitals, prisons, shelters, public toilets etc who may find themselves next to a biological man – regardless of whether that man is predatory. I’m scared for my children, and all the children out there being told that because they don’t like pink and barbies maybe they are actually a boy, and perhaps they would like hormone suppressants? Fuck.

Unfortunately I have done nothing… I have only spoken with my mum and sister about this. And please know, I have spent my adult life being vocal on important and challenging topics, attending rallies, encouraging education and conversation. But this feels different. I feel in danger to speak up due to how toxic the conversation is, how easily people are fired and targeted personally. Just walking past the protesters at the 2020 women’s place uk conference with my baby in a sling was terrifying. I’ve never felt that rage before from people with opposing views.

MT

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Healthcare Parent

I see parents pushing it on their children

This concerns me because I see parents pushing it on their children. I have a daughter. I don’t want women oppressed even more because of men’s feelings.

Pam, GC feminist

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Healthcare Others

I have a trans-identifying man (transwoman) in my extended family who is aggressive towards women

. The majority of our family are convinced our relative is only ‘lashing out’ because he is ‘oppressed’. (I used to be happy to use his preferred pronouns, but since his harassment of me and violent threats made to other women, I no longer extend him that courtesy.) This has been easy for him to achieve because there is so much propaganda that he can access from lobbying groups, from newspapers, from television companies.

He is over 6 foot tall, young and healthy, and I and some others of the women in my family are scared of his aggression. Currently, I feel unable to report the harassment from him to the police, as I’ve read reports of how police treat women who report these aggressive men.

I also know that his immediate family would be likely to seek revenge whether or not the police took it seriously.

I’ve had to stop speaking publicly in my real name on social media about many issues because I fear that the harassment from him will escalate into direct violence against me and my children. Even when I ‘liked’ a post about women’s rights on Facebook, that resulted in a day or two of abusive messages.

I’m branded as ‘transphobic’ because I fear this individual who happens to call himself trans. He was aggressive towards women before he started telling people he was trans, so I consider this fear to be rational. There’s nothing ‘phobic’ about it.

But I have to keep speaking up for reality because it’s the lies and propaganda about gender, trans people and ‘terfs’ that has created the atmosphere where this young man is able to get away with his abusive behaviour.

I have been able to contribute to the governments GRA consultation and have written to my MP as I don’t fear that confidentiality would be broken.

I also don’t fear that this description of my current situation will be able to be traced back to me because there are probably thousands of us in very similar circumstances.

I have a FB account in my own name that I now barely use, but I have anonymous accounts on other social media where I can share and like reasonable views without being further harassed.

The things I did to publicly speak up were so innocuous that I was surprised that the TW in my family became so abusive towards me so quickly. I shared a newspaper article from the Morning Star written by a transwoman (but apparently, not the right sort of transwoman) and I liked a Woman’s Place UK post on Facebook that wasn’t even about the gender/trans issue, but I was still told this was ‘bigotry’ because they are ‘all terfs.’ My first response was to try to reassure him that he didn’t have to agree with the other transwoman whose article I posted, but there was room was respectful discussion. That led to abusive and threatening messages not just left to me, but also to other women in my family, who were told to break all contact with me if they didn’t want to be called ‘transphobes.’

Before this happened, before he told his family that he’s a ‘woman’, he’d already been aggressive towards women and had been told not to return to his university, so I am wary that the likelihood of his harassment of me escalating is high.

The negative consequences of this are that some of my family no longer speak to me. I don’t know how much that is because they are scared of this abusive person in our family or how much they agree with him that I’m a horrible person for thinking that Women’s Place UK are not evil and for thinking that trans people are allowed diversity of thought.

Other negative consequences are that I am nervous when at home because I don’t know if he will just turn up at my doorstep or how violent he will feel justified to be. He often posts things on social media glorifying violence against the police and fascists. (He considers me to be a fascist.) This has affected my mental health to some extent. I’m sure he’d like me to be more adversely impacted than I am, but I will survive. I have to, because I need to do what I can to protect my daughter, my niece, and other women. I might keep a tactical silence in certain places, but I will not be broken.

AnonForSafety, I might be forced into anonymity for my immediate safety, but I have to keep speaking up for the safety of half of the population

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Healthcare Others

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years

This matters to me because I’m a lesbian and as a lesbian I increasingly feel that I’m being erased. Back in 2003-06 I was actively involved in Stonewall in my region. I was on the regional committee, which was headed by a lesbian. Also on the committee was a self-declared non-binary man who was studying Gender Studies at a local university and a transwoman. Although nothing had been said publicly Stonewall had already brought Transgenderism under its now-infamous umbrella. When I questioned this and pointed out that transactivism and lesbians were not a good fit, and when I asked what a straight self-declared non-binary man was doing at Stonewall meetings, it became clear that I was no longer welcome on the committee. I and another lesbian who also spoke up were treated with disapproval.

Our words were secretly recorded by the non-binary Gender Studies student and later included in a pro-trans lecture he gave in which we were quoted and cited as ‘the problem’.

I’ve been trying to warn lesbians for years that Stonewall and Pride don’t represent lesbians and until recently no one’s wanted to believe me.

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years and very few people have believed me until recently.

I’ve been actively resisting by speaking about it within women’s and lesbian circles. I’ve been blocked and defriended by lots of people. People used to roll their eyes but with the help of material from Woman’s Place UKTransgender Trend and so on I’ve been able to debunk a lot of the nonsense.

I engage with my woke local council, though the fact that I’m an older lesbian means I’m talked down and over by the woke mothers of transgender children.

I continue to hold strictly female events and groups, albeit publicised carefully and not publicly, and to correct anyone who tells me it’s not legal.

I’ve spoken up in a theatre and cafes where the only loos have been unisex and asked loudly why this is so, and what are women who don’t want to find themselves in a cubicle next to a man to do, and occasionally other women have joined in. No one likes unisex loos.

I’ve attended a couple of Woman’s Place meetings, raised issues with my local council and other councils (notably Leeds), stickered with Woman: adult human female and taken part in  some direct action. Was due to go to FILIA this year before Covid-19.

I’ve sent a load of people to Mumsnet’s Feminism Chat and they’ve spread the word in turn.

I’ve lost friends. People think I’m a transgender bore and have refused to believe that the very definition of woman is under threat.

I’ve become very aware of ageism and have been astonished at the way I’ve been put down particularly by younger feminists.

I’ve never thought of myself as particularly clever or rational but I’m really very frightened by the speed and stealth with which people have been duped into believing something that, once you.  start to ask a few basic questions, falls apart,

I’ve felt isolated at times and wondered whether it’s me that’s mad. I look at Canada and Ireland and the state of academia and despair. I think there is good reason to be very scared, particularly if you’re a lesbian. It’s shocking how complacent everyone has been in enabling Trans ideology to go untested and unquestioned.

Perhaps the most negative thing of all is realising how easily seduced by dangerous ideas people are. I never used to understand how the nazis could have attracted so many people. Now I see  how easy it is to persuade apparently clever, influential people that black is white, male is female and it’s reasonable for a judge to tell a woman to call the man in the dock opposite ‘he/ him’ on pain of imprisonment. That judge should have been disciplined.

I’ve been a Guardian reader and a Labour voter my entire life and now feel disenfranchised because I can’t vote for Labour or the Lib Dems because of their mindless adoption of TWAW politics. It’s really unsettling.

And finally, I have lost trust in those who are supposed to be brighter and more powerful and informed than me. So many MPs and councils and doctors and judges and teachers and university lecturers have just lapped this gender crap up without question. Including women and lesbians! So many people who turn out to be deeply, blindly misogynistic and homophobic. That’s the really frightening thing. That’s what gives me nightmares.

Susannah, adult human female

Categories
Healthcare Parent

This is a highly inappropriate thing to say to children with any form of disability

I care because no child should be told by anyone in authority that they may have been ‘born in the wrong body’. This is an ideology, not a scientific fact and should be taught as such, if at all.

I don’t imagine there are many people in this world who didn’t like aspects of their body growing up and they should be taught body positivity and self acceptance.

I also feel this is a highly inappropriate thing to say to children with any form of disability who may well feel like they are in the wrong body but are unable to identify out of it.

Self ID is a separate matter which raises all sorts of ethical and legal issues. The current GRA requirements seem reasonable to me but as with all law should should be subject to considered review. In the current climate this is difficult due to the atmosphere of fear of being branded transphobic.

I’m not particularly vocal on social media anyways but having seen the hate and vitriol spouted at anyone who doesn’t fully devote themselves to trans rights activity worldview I don’t want to get involved publically.

Not personally because I am aware that if you even hint to the wrong person that you feel women’s and children’s safeguarding should be considered in all of this you are subject to criticism.

My wife mentioned to a work colleague that I was interested in the the Scottish GRA review and upon hearing that I thought self ID could have negative implications for women’s legal protections she was informed that I am bigoted, transphobic and denying the reality of trans people.

Nick, Interested parent and casual twitter observer

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Healthcare Private sector

I don’t look like many women I know

I am a woman. I don’t look like many women I know. I am 5ft tall, AAA bust, short hair, don’t wear make up, am ordinary and I can be who I want. I was born in the 70s and in the 80s I could be who I wanted to be with a shaved head in a greatcoat and army boots. I was still a young woman and had relationships with young men.

My sister is 3 years young than me and was a tomboy and known as Steve for several years. She is now a happily partnered lesbian – thank goodness.

Teenagers need to know that they can be who they want and that struggle in life is normal – not a pathology. I have 4 children and the thought of any of them being told they should have surgery to identify as something is abhorrent to me. I have adult sons who have managed risks of knife crime and drunken idiocy so far ok.

My daughters are teens and they need to know the support of women and also know that the truth matters. If they think someone is a man they should be able to say so, not be forced to lie and tolerate a man in a space where I hope they aren’t at risk from men who upskirt, spy in changing rooms and generally perv over young girls – and now being able to do so in the open as transwomen.

My life in the body of a woman has been rocked by menopause and this has made me more aware of the effect of hormones on my body than pregnancy.

I refuse to believe or accept that a man can be a woman and it pains me that girls feel they can’t be women.

I created a new Twitter account to keep this thinking separate from my business. I also have a blog where I rant. I keep talking to my children about these issues but my 17yo already considers me to be a TERF.

I remain silent on these issues in my business environment. I voted Leave too so….

Rachel , An adult human female

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Healthcare Others

Why did my mother have to suffer for years with her womb

As a woman who hasn’t been believed and made to feel bad for being sexually assaulted, I find it terrifying that women’s voices are still not heard. I am not traumatised by the event but other women are by theirs and pushing ideology on people only makes that worse.

Why did my mother have to suffer for years with her womb because they couldn’t be bothered to deal with it, whereas had she identified as man she may have not had to suffer as long.

I was told at 16 I was too young for a hysterectomy as I may want kids one day. I’m glad they didn’t take me seriously in some ways as now in my 30s I am considering children.

However, it is this disregard towards women and their feelings and their bodies that does not sit right with me. This is before we even get on to the topic of men identifying as women being allowed to compete as women in sport!

I am quite active on Twitter in the Gender Critical movement. I was threatened rape on twitter and the tweet was deleted and the account suspended.

KS, Biology cannot be denied

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Healthcare Private sector

Gender ideology is regressive sexist bullshit

Gender ideology is regressive sexist bullshit. I am afraid for my children. I am worried that messages around being gender non conforming means that a child is encouraged into a lifetime of medical interventions to ‘change your body’. I’m worried that we’re opening doors to men with nefarious intent into places where women are the most vulnerable.

I have written to my MP, written to my children’s school about their equality policy, written to the NHS donor scheme to as about why they are collecting data on gender, donated to crowd funders looking at the Oxford transgender toolkit, plus others.

I have been very careful not to use my name where possible, and stuck to provable facts when raising concerns.

K, Engineer, primary caregiver, adult human female