Tag: language

Categories
Healthcare Parent

I am appalled by the message to children

As a mother, I am appalled by the message to children that there might be something wrong with their body just because they don’t fit into society’s stupid rigid stereotypes for girls and boys. As a feminist I am concerned about the natural erosion of women’s hard won rights that comes from eroding the definition of the word woman. I am worried about women losing their safe spaces and women-only platforms.

I have written to my MP and spoken to close family members but I don’t really post on social media and I would be too anxious to post about this. I did tweet using the #theycallmeTERF hashtag once but that’s all. I have supported petitions and crowd funding for legal battles though.

I haven’t really spoken up so no. It makes me feel very anxious.

Jen, Australia

Categories
survivor

I’m a victim of male physical and sexual violence

It matters to me because I’m worried about female safety in female spaces. And general comfort. I’m a victim of male physical and sexual violence, triggered by men in spaces where I’m vulnerable. I’m worried about erasure of woman using “gender neutral” language.

I’ve liked tweets, signed petitions.

I’ve experienced tension in whatsapp groups.

Hannah A, private sector

Categories
Private sector

My response is: I won’t do any of that

This matters to me personally. I was raised by a conservative, religious father and a loving, submissive and leftist mum; and was educated (2-17 years old) at only-girls Catholic schools in Spain. My childhood and adolescence were filled with a cognitive dissonance: women are submissive, virginal (resulting in nuns, or a wives and mothers) whilst educated, intelligent and capable (effort, study, discipline).

Although I was already challenging it at home, it wasn’t until university that the external pressure was over (end of school and divorced parents) but not the internal fight. It took years of reading books that I realised the damage that traditional gender stereotypes bring across society.

I have been discussing about gender equality, LGB, religion and politics at home, with friends and at work. I listen, ask for more information, look for alternatives, deep dive. I read and observe: fiction and non-fiction, movies and documentaries to understand the world that surrounds me. I am constantly amazed at how both our brains and our societies work: such imperfect systems capable of such good things.

And all of a sudden, in the name of inclusivity, I am now presented with three options: (1) I can be a ciswoman and perform a submissive, virginal, traditional role (in a very liberal set, where hard porn and sex work are free choices; and make up and high heels actually empower me); (2) I can change the way I dress and hair style and become non-binary (because I am financially independent, care about my career and I am assertive at work); or (3) I can have cosmetic surgery and become a different person altogether. My response is: I won’t do any of that.

I easily recognise any movement that prevents open discussion, denies material reality / science, or forces me to become something I don’t believe in: I have been there and don’t want it back, thank you very much.

In the big scheme of things, I have done very little to raise my voice. I am very vocal with my family, friends and with (a carefully chosen group of) colleagues though. I attend seminars, training and discussions around feminism, social welfare, humanism and similar. I used to take part in Diversity & Inclusion groups at work focused on gender and LGBT. Sometimes I attend political demonstrations but I am not affiliated to any party.

When I joined Twitter about a year ago, my head exploded. I used to be a follower rather than joining in the conversation; read the news (cry a bit), follow a few feminists (feel empowered) and comedians (have a laugh), and watch videos of puppies (aren’t they beautiful?). Then, I kept following a few more women, raised questions, praised interesting articles… and became angrier and angrier (I prefer respectful, no-violent anger than despair).

I (softly) raised a few questions with colleagues, was a bit annoyed at a biological man receiving a Female in Business award; tried to understand the British culture and trans activism (so closely linked to Western individualism and post-modernism); and kept repeating the same mantra: “we should all be free to express ourselves in whatever way we want; and I should treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way I want to be treated.”

When I started listening to the Labour candidates denying sex or giving preferential treatment to males, I was annoyed. But when I attended the solidarity rally for Women’s Place UK and LGB Alliance, I became astonished. I had been in a bubble so I decided to respond to the Scottish Government consultation on their gender recognition bill, and have become a bit more vocal on Twitter (which is not made for my long diatribes).

I am aware of the noise, the ignorance, the science-deniers, the misogynists; but also the kind, hopeful people who just want a better world for everyone.

I haven’t been openly critical about trans issues at work so the colleagues I have been able to talk to, agree with me (they have been even more critical than me who used to embrace inclusion without realising there are actual sex-deniers in this debate). But I know a little about low-key misogyny.

Four years into my previous company, I got the sponsorship of the female Director of the department to design, create and launch a training module for female middle-managers with high potential. Soon after it was launched, she left the company and was replaced by a male Director. On his first day, my (male) line manager and I sat at his office to meet each other, and I explained my part in the programme.

I am very expressive when I talk about something I love: my face turns red, I move my hands a lot… He wasn’t happy. He looked right at me and queried whether I would become “rebellious”. I swore internally whilst nervously laughing a little, looked at my manager and asked if I had ever been problematic to which he replied “no” (big smile too, uneasy and surprised in equal measure). I went home, swore in Spanish (best language for swearing, when you roll those “j” and “r”), spoke to my father (we disagree on plenty of things but he knows how to deal with difficult male senior managers in the workplace because he used to be one of them) and went back to work.

I spoke to my line manager who encouraged me to show my skills and good performance, but had to act as intermediary (aka human shield) in a couple of more occasions. I knew this Director would not help me in my career. Several female colleagues were equally mistrustful but couldn’t do much due to his seniority, so a few months later a (female) Senior Manager took me under her wing and helped me find a brilliant job opportunity in another team. I was very happy to move on.

There Is Always Hope, thereisalwaysh

Categories
Healthcare Others

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years

This matters to me because I’m a lesbian and as a lesbian I increasingly feel that I’m being erased. Back in 2003-06 I was actively involved in Stonewall in my region. I was on the regional committee, which was headed by a lesbian. Also on the committee was a self-declared non-binary man who was studying Gender Studies at a local university and a transwoman. Although nothing had been said publicly Stonewall had already brought Transgenderism under its now-infamous umbrella. When I questioned this and pointed out that transactivism and lesbians were not a good fit, and when I asked what a straight self-declared non-binary man was doing at Stonewall meetings, it became clear that I was no longer welcome on the committee. I and another lesbian who also spoke up were treated with disapproval.

Our words were secretly recorded by the non-binary Gender Studies student and later included in a pro-trans lecture he gave in which we were quoted and cited as ‘the problem’.

I’ve been trying to warn lesbians for years that Stonewall and Pride don’t represent lesbians and until recently no one’s wanted to believe me.

I’ve been watching this assault on women and lesbians developing for years and very few people have believed me until recently.

I’ve been actively resisting by speaking about it within women’s and lesbian circles. I’ve been blocked and defriended by lots of people. People used to roll their eyes but with the help of material from Woman’s Place UKTransgender Trend and so on I’ve been able to debunk a lot of the nonsense.

I engage with my woke local council, though the fact that I’m an older lesbian means I’m talked down and over by the woke mothers of transgender children.

I continue to hold strictly female events and groups, albeit publicised carefully and not publicly, and to correct anyone who tells me it’s not legal.

I’ve spoken up in a theatre and cafes where the only loos have been unisex and asked loudly why this is so, and what are women who don’t want to find themselves in a cubicle next to a man to do, and occasionally other women have joined in. No one likes unisex loos.

I’ve attended a couple of Woman’s Place meetings, raised issues with my local council and other councils (notably Leeds), stickered with Woman: adult human female and taken part in  some direct action. Was due to go to FILIA this year before Covid-19.

I’ve sent a load of people to Mumsnet’s Feminism Chat and they’ve spread the word in turn.

I’ve lost friends. People think I’m a transgender bore and have refused to believe that the very definition of woman is under threat.

I’ve become very aware of ageism and have been astonished at the way I’ve been put down particularly by younger feminists.

I’ve never thought of myself as particularly clever or rational but I’m really very frightened by the speed and stealth with which people have been duped into believing something that, once you.  start to ask a few basic questions, falls apart,

I’ve felt isolated at times and wondered whether it’s me that’s mad. I look at Canada and Ireland and the state of academia and despair. I think there is good reason to be very scared, particularly if you’re a lesbian. It’s shocking how complacent everyone has been in enabling Trans ideology to go untested and unquestioned.

Perhaps the most negative thing of all is realising how easily seduced by dangerous ideas people are. I never used to understand how the nazis could have attracted so many people. Now I see  how easy it is to persuade apparently clever, influential people that black is white, male is female and it’s reasonable for a judge to tell a woman to call the man in the dock opposite ‘he/ him’ on pain of imprisonment. That judge should have been disciplined.

I’ve been a Guardian reader and a Labour voter my entire life and now feel disenfranchised because I can’t vote for Labour or the Lib Dems because of their mindless adoption of TWAW politics. It’s really unsettling.

And finally, I have lost trust in those who are supposed to be brighter and more powerful and informed than me. So many MPs and councils and doctors and judges and teachers and university lecturers have just lapped this gender crap up without question. Including women and lesbians! So many people who turn out to be deeply, blindly misogynistic and homophobic. That’s the really frightening thing. That’s what gives me nightmares.

Susannah, adult human female

Categories
Others

Every single one expressed concern and also fear /reluctance about speaking out

It feels like a step backwards in the fight for women’s rights. We need safe spaces. We are harassed from a young age. We are oppressed from a young age. We have to constantly work to get what men have easily. To open up access to womens rights to anyone declaring themselves as women, is to redefine the meaning of women and to dismiss and undermine our oppression, our needs, our history

I’ve spoken to women in my family ages 15 to 85 to find their thoughts. Every single one expressed concern and also fear /reluctance about speaking out.

I’ve raised the issue in local political party and with close colleagues.

I’ve posted on social media  – initially to defend transexual women, then to enquire about this new definition of trans and then to speak out strongly against it.

I’ve been called a bigot, right wing, terf and added to block lists on social media.

I’ve had my photograph taken at a demo by a man I do not know who did not introduce himself or request the photo. The photo was one of several posted on social media with comments calling women in it terfs and bigots.

c, Woman from Glasgow

Categories
Media and Arts

I just didn’t want to participate in the charade

Privacy while undressing/getting healthcare is important to me. I don’t want to participate in someone’s fetish. Men don’t belong in women’s sports. Women’s rights in general matter to me.

I donate. I offer my services to GC orgs for free. I raise awareness of people around me. I’m active on social media.

I get suspended on social media on a regular basis.

This is not a really a consequence, but a decision: I didn’t join women’s groups in my industry, even though I’d LOVE the support and the connections that are being made there, because they’ve apologized for using the word “female”, they accept both TW and TM and they center gender ideology in their definition of women’s groups. I just didn’t want to participate in the charade.

Sarah

Categories
Healthcare Media and Arts

My colleague reported me; she is worried I would not allow a man to follow a girl into the female toilets

I care because I know from experience, & research, that males – no matter how they identify – expect women to give way to them.  They are taught that women are inferior in all respects. 

The trans agenda is based on mantras designed to silence debate in order to remove female rights to privacy, safety & dignity.  

My main concern is over the safeguarding of girls & women:  I have even been told women who have been sexually assaulted need to be re-educated to accept males as women.

I do not believe sex can be changed.  I spent years teaching Equal Opportunities; children learned their sex (female) & race/colour (black) did not make them inferior, it was society’s gender & race stereotypes which did this. 

I care because LGBT+ training, Stonewall & Mermaids, is based on lies.  Our children & women deserve better from society.  They are putting the fetishes of males above the lived lives of women & girls.  Males need to become responsible for themselves, especially their violence, & allow women to become their authentic selves.

I have raised the issue at my place of work.  A place which I am told it is well known children (generally girls) are brought as part of the grooming process.

I have discussed aspects of the trans ideology with colleagues.  This has to be done quietly and in corners as my place of work is a Stonewall Champion.

The company lays on (voluntary) LGBTQ+ training sessions each year; we are encouraged to support the Pride march throughout town, add our pronouns to the end of emails & wear Pride & personal pronoun badges.

I have written to my line manager & head of the company.  I listed the trans mantras which a colleague quoted to me as fact.  I showed by provable research that the mantras were deliberately confusing & based on lies; e.g Trans women are women; children know they are born in the wrong body at 3 years old; trans people are the most vulnerable in the world, thousands of trans people are killed each year for being trans etc. etc.

I have also contacted my MP, who is sympathetic & understanding but not prepared to do anything.  I have contacted my local Council pointing out the errors regarding use of confusing & ambiguous language in their Equality & Diversity Policy.

My colleague reported me; she is worried I would not allow a man to follow a girl into the female toilets.  Her view and that of my line manager is that were I to question him I might upset him as he may be a trans woman.

I have been told I am to be given an official reprimand.  It has not taken place as the company closed down due to COVID-19 the day it was to be administered.

I have been told I am not to allow anyone to think my views are those of the company I work for.

Outside work: due to my views I have left the Labour party, I have left the Women’s Equality Party, my friends laugh at me – as they think climate change is more important, they tell me I have a one track mind, they tell me it is too late (that was from someone high up in the GMB union). On the positive side; I have raised the issue with the local primary school headteacher.  He had no clue what I was going on about but we agreed I had opened the conversation and we could continue if need be at a later date.

AnonymousJ, Sex is real.  Males cannot become women/female

Categories
Healthcare Media and Arts

Obviously lesbians can’t have penises

It started as bafflement at the perversion of language – obviously lesbians can’t have penises – and grew into a horrified realisation that there is a huge movement to define men as women (and vice versa), which particularly concerns me because it appears to me totally regressive, and I don’t want my children to grow up thinking they can’t be gender non-conforming, and that instead they have to ‘become’ the opposite sex.

I also see a lot of men taking advantage at the expense of women by claiming membership of their sex class, in business, in sport, in shelters, in prisons, in politics – and as a man it appalls me.

They do not seem to care that men oppress and abuse women, and that it’s not even about transwomen – it’s about the bad men who will take advantage of the freedom to ‘be women’ if that right is extended to any man.

I have written things which have had an impact on the debate. I also tweet furiously (but politely) under a pseudonym.

Businesses which were implicated swiftly dissolved their relationship with mine. I believe under pressure from their internal LGBT reps.

MC, Centrist dad

Categories
Healthcare Media and Arts

Something is very very wrong

Women been oppressed as a class throughout time and across the globe because of our biological sex. The hard won rights that have been fought for by generations of women are at serious risk of being completely eroded overnight by manipulating reality through language.

I care about this because I care about all women and I also care about all the young gay boys and lesbians who feel transitioning is a way out of homosexuality. I care about the young women who hate their bodies and are being encouraged to mutilate them.

I care about all the children who are now being told that they have some magical essence of gender that exists on a spectrum between GI Joe and Barbie. Will my nephews be told they might be girls if they wear pink??

I cannot and do not talk about this issue with anyone other than those closest too me, namely my mum and sister. I do not engage online as I would lose my job I am certain. Maybe not overnight, but it would happen eventually.

4 years ago I moved from London to a small rural town where I run a community arts and entertainment venue

This issue is so contentious and comes from such a conservative starting point but is masked as liberalism that I know my view would be considered hateful, improper and bigoted despite everything else I hold dear and am active and vocal about demonstrating the opposite.

It’s just incredibly dangerous and in a world where I’m setting up an anonymous twitter account and shaking doing it simply to state that biological sex is real and to ‘like’ a tweet without fear of losing my job, something is very very wrong!

I dare not speak out.  But, things are changing in my work and I fear that soon I will have to and I genuinely don’t know what will happen then.

Woman

Categories
Media and Arts

Everyone I’ve spoken to, without exception, has been fully in support

Women need to be able to name ourselves. We need the ability to describe ourselves, differentiated from men. I’ve been a feminist all of my adult life, I’ve campaigned on many causes from reproductive rights to fighting sex stereotypes.

I’ve never seen feminism so threatened; the very word ‘woman’ has been rendered meaningless by the take-over of language by gender ideology.

If a man can be a woman then we cannot organise, we cannot fight for our sex based rights, and we cannot protect ourselves from the threat of male violence and oppression.

I’ve talked to friends and family, I’ve discussed the issue in depth on social media. I’ve written to politicians, MPs, and organised with other feminists. I’ve responded to the consultation on sex ed in schools and govt consultations on the GRA and other relevant issues. I’ve signed petitions. I’ve contributed to crowdfunders.

Everyone I’ve spoken to, without exception, has been fully in support. But everyone has also been too scared to say so in public or on social media.

A.M., Writer, author