The Gender Dissidents SurveyI care because women need to be protected from men and the female experience is unique
I am in the process of collecting knowledge. I used to think very differently.
I am being very careful with my words. But I would lose many friends.
Lena, Germany
I had no idea about the consequences of this. Am flabbergasted at the vitriol/adolescent-like manipulation of those pushing this on entire populations (my husband either). I cannot believe women’s words & spaces are being erased. – the waxing one happened 30 mins from me and I had no idea 🤬🤬🤬. Liberal Party of Canada voter my whole life. Never again. I’m going to have to vote freaking bigoted Conservative just so my daughter can be called a woman 🤬🤬. In short – I am pissed off. For the record I do not consider myself a feminist & am normally live & let live, but this is straight outta the misogyny handbook.
I’ve just liked things on Twitter – I will lose my job & my family’s security if I speak up even though I am firmly pro-trans rights. I just happen to believe that giving one group rights at the expense of another is bullshit.
I keep my thoughts to myself in real life.
M, a concerned woman, Canada
I’m concerned about sex-based rights for females, and the growing trend of female youth to identify as male, under such confusing circumstances.
I’ve raised the issues with trusted family members and friends. Most have been reasonable and appalled at what they’ve heard.
I lost a very close friend.
C, Critical Beaver, criticalbeaver, Canada
This issue speaks to me because I am a woman. I care about other women and I care for young girls. I don’t want them to suffer from things that I’ve endured. I want them to be free to raise their voices and not be threatened by anyone.
I’ve been standing up for girls and women around me (and for myself). We are raised to be gentle and not care when we suffer from any type of violence and I see that as a valid reason for me to protect the ones around me.
I have been threatened multiple times. Rape, murder, spanking. Once, when I talked about a time when I was violated I had multiple men and transwomen tell me that they wanted to violate me “better” than the other man did, because it was not enough. A transman that lived in the same city that I do said he would go to my university and beat me up.
B, A survivor of male violence and defender of women, Brazil
I care about this issue because when I was 16 I experienced severe gender dysphoria. I was struggling to accept that I was a lesbian and felt forced into a relationship with a male. He abused me and over time I became completely disconnected from my body.
As a teenager I thought these feelings might mean I was trans. Thankfully I was too scared to tell anyone as I think I could have easily been put on an irreversible medical pathway if I had. The gender dysphoria resolved itself when I left the abusive relationship, reconnected with my body and allowed myself to be gay.
I worry that trauma is being misdiagnosed as being trans. I worry for young people who may be harmed by gender ideology. I was also later diagnosed as autistic – I now know this is common in teen girls with gender dysphoria.
I work in a mental health service for young people. I fear their gender dysphoria is affirmed as their true trans identity. I worry this approach is harming them.
I have raised my concerns with one close friend. She is someone I feel safe with. I have also gently tried to question some of the gender ideology at work, for example I recently had a client with gender dysphoria and I tried to mention that I felt this was connected with past trauma and socialisation. The client was worried they would be forced to transition if they attended therapy and I tried to ask colleagues if they knew of any neural therapists who would not push an affirmative model. My colleagues didn’t seem to know what I was talking about and suggested I signpost them to an LGBT organisation.
My work colleague started to talk about ‘hateful and transphobic people such as J.K.Rowling’. I was anxious that if I questioned the care for this client any further I could also get labelled as hateful and transphobic. I worry about losing my job, but I also worry that I am not providing evidence based care for my clients, though I try to offer an open minded and compassionate approach, where I don’t push any particular route or narrative onto them.
H, Trauma not Trans
I work in Education, I am worried about the influence that social media, influencers and so on have on children. I object to the conversion therapy that is affecting young lesbians and gay boys. As I have a child of my own I worry that he will be taught the idea that children who do not conform to gender stereotypes are not what they were born as. I am worried about the legal ramifications if there is no legal word for a woman.
I have campaigned with Fair Play for Women and a Woman’s Place, attended meetings, spoken to friends and family and posted articles and opinion on social media. I have also written to my son’s school to challenge them on terminology and in accurate interpretations of the equality act 2010.
I have been unfriended by people on Facebook for my views and had heated arguments in person.
Donna S
This matters to me because I’m tired of parenting ROGD (rapid onset gender dysphoria) child, Because I have been living through 4 years of trans ideology since my daughter decided she was trans at the age of 16. I cannot affirm her in her male identity. The issue is the elephant in the room. We are all at home during lockdown, getting on fine. She wears a binder which I hate.
I don’t care about hairstyles, clothing but I do care about the risks to her health should she proceed with hormones and surgery. Thankfully the GIDS waiting list is long!
I care because trans-ness has catapulted into society at a speed no other cause has done. I feel as if those in authority have not done enough to satisfy themselves that what they are being told by pressure groups is good and ethical and safe. There should be alarm bells ringing over the increase in referrals and yet no-one seems to be batting an eyelid.
I care because to me it seems logical that children and adolescents often find growing up tricky, want to be something that is unobtainable – superman/princess. What we should be teaching children is to reject sex stereotypes, not their sexed bodies.
I can’t raise my voice while I struggle to reconcile my thoughts with the life my daughter thinks she should be living. I am a member of Bayswater Support Group and have attended one meeting, supporting other parents through our shared experiences.
The vicious views spouted by those on the side of transgender activists must make it impossible for anyone to actually want to speak out.
JJ
As a woman, a lesbian and a mother of two teenaged daughters, I care about protecting physical and intimate spaces for women and girls – and I care hugely about the impact on young women who are rejecting their female bodies (often with regrets) because of sexist or homophobic stereotypes.
1. During the GRA consultation, I replied respectfully to a post on our large work LGBT Equality Network (in a University) that encouraged us to complete it using Stonewall’s guidance. I said there are other points of view to consider and other sources to look at for support.
2. I have also raised this in my local large lesbian group as I became increasingly concerned about the increase in welcoming formerly straight men, now identifying as lesbians, in to our group. This is gaslighting lesbians, especially those who are perhaps more recently come out as being attracted to other women.
3. Plenty of face to face and online discussions to raise awareness.
1. I was publicly reprimanded by the Chair of the network who sent an apology for allowing my post to be let through moderation. It was very personal, and also professionally damaging. I went to HR, was initially supported, and then essentially told I was wrong and to let it go. I tried to follow up, but the silence has been overwhelming. It has left a lasting impact on my trust for a fair hearing, and a fear of speaking out.
2. I was accused of transphobia (by a small number of other women), I eventually left the lesbian group, having been a very active member for 20 years. I had countless messages of support privately, and a few publicly (softly).
I feel angry with myself for having given in – my space taken – but at the time I felt like it was the only option I had.
3. Mixed results, delighted with small successes and changes.
Jess, Woman, lesbian, mother
I am a lesbian mother of daughters. I work with children. I knew a trans-identified female when I was younger and I saw the damage she had done to herself and the relief she felt when she detransitioned. Denial of material reality threatens the safeguarding of women and children.
I have attended marches and demonstrations. I have contributed to government consultations and online discussions on social media. I have talked to family and friends. I have an anonymised social media presence and an associated podcast.
I have lost friends and acquaintances. I have been reported to my college for being “transphobic”. I have had my social media profile reported.
E, Adult Human Female podcast
It matters to me as I have a 13 year old daughter who has a close group of girlfriends. Three out of six of these girls want to have gender reassignment. I feel it’s almost become a “trend”. I feel these girls don’t understand the complexity of it and the parents are not understanding it either. There’s so much more this obviously but it’s worrying me.
To be honest I have so far just tried to inform myself as much as possible and I have had a few discussions both online and in real life. I have been called a few choice words online even though I feel like I was just asking for more information, more evidence. I felt that I couldn’t even ask genuine questions or just express genuine concerns. I was immediately branded a TERF.
M.L.A
The Gender Dissidents Survey