Category: Parent

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Education Healthcare Parent

We are not a subset of women

This matters to me because I do not want my daughters to grow up in a world where women’s rights are diminished.  We are not a subset of women. I worry for the teenage girls in the school where I work, where they may lose their right to same sex toilets/changing rooms.

I have donated to crowdfunders. I have emailed notes of support to women under fire who express their opinion. I have spoken to my husband and children.  I would more than likely lose my job if I went public with my opinions and I cannot afford to do that.

I have not spoken up. I feel bad about this but am truly not in a position to do so….yet.

JJ

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Parent

I will not be pigeon-holed into being what gender has decided for me

My lived life tells me that the experiences that I have had from the earliest age until now have been informed by my biology. It is my biology that has created the oppression that I have experienced as a woman not the social construct of gender.

I did not conform to the stereotypical image of what girls should be, and as I grew older I did not conform to gender stereotypical woman.  That said I am woman because that is my sex.

 I will not be pigeon holed into being what gender has decided for me but I will be what a woman is, a woman. The construct of gender has demanded that I should adopt a way of being that exists to satisfy the fantasies of men.  That to me is not what being a woman is.  I do not exist to conform to the whims of our patriarchal structures. Transgender politics have become a loud voice that demands women acquiesce even more to the whims to patriarchal constructs of what a women is.  It demands that the lived biological experiences of women are denied and replaced with gender identity politics which require women to consent even further to the will of men to dominate them.  It demands that ‘woman’ can only be defined by a gendered based male narrative.  If we disagree we should face violence.

I have used whatever means I can, writing letters, going on protests about the loss of single sex spaces, written articles.

I have been threatened with violence, told to expect to be raped by lesbian dicks, trolled on social media.

Paula , Educator, activist, socialist, mother

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Healthcare Parent Transwidows

My husband moved out to live his new life as a woman

Those twelve months were a hell of lies and insults. 

I was told that I should be okay with him transitioning because I “had too much testosterone to be a woman, so should be happy for him to take the female role.” 

And there was a myriad of other examples of misogyny that peppered his arguments.

My children were just starting their teens and were both affected badly by this. My daughter fell out with her Dad, until she decided that she was nonbinary and then she fell out with me. We haven’t spoken in over year and she wrote to me recently to say that she is now a boy (age 18).  My son had a serious mental health issues with self harm and suicide attempts.

When this first happened, I watched friends turn themselves inside out to be understanding and to not be seen as transphobic (though my good friends didn’t take long to decide he was a git – thank god!) My gender critical views do not match with my children’s viewpoints, so I have to try and hold back from voicing how I feel at home.  And ultimately, I blame myself for everything. I can’t get away from the idea that I broke up our family and my gender critical viewpoints mean that I really am a transphobic bigot.

I follow people that have similar views to learn more about feminism and the issues around and share some of the articles that I find interesting.  I am also a teacher and occasionally have conversations with teenagers who have expressed gender confusion – discussing how gender nonconformity doesn’t mean that they are the wrong sex. 

Any consequences? Arguments with my kids, daughter leaving home.

Nicky, musician and teacher

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Education Parent

It is hard to see doublethink happening in real time

It is hard to see doublethink happening in real time and doubting my own common sense.

I have ensured school’s policies do not conflate sex and gender

Have you faced any consequences? Not yet

L, Left wing school governor, parent to girls

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Education Parent

I worry that we cannot speak our minds without being called bigots.

As a mother to three daughters and a teacher, this really worries me.  I worry about the girls’ safety when using public toilets and changing rooms. I worry about competitive sport – will they be competing in fair competitions? I worry that we cannot speak our minds without being called bigots.

Mostly I worry about my middle daughter who is a “Tom boy”. If she is gay – will she be convinced that she was “born in the wrong body”? Will she want to transition? How will I possibly handle that? Will she be taken away from me? This terrifies me. 

What have you done? Very little. I’m too scared to.

The bravest thing I have done is share something on Facebook saying “Happy International Women’s Day all you adult human females” alongside a Team GB montage of amazing sports women.

I have begun to boycott products and services that I feel do not support women. Nike, Flora, Audible, Always.

I like pages and stories on Facebook. I have donated to LGB Alliance.

I rant to my husband but don’t say much to anyone else in case I am branded a bigot or get into trouble at work. I have not been brave enough to speak up.

PP, Mother of sporty girls

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Healthcare Parent

I promised myself that I would never again collude in someone else’s bulls**t.

I care because I have a daughter- having grown up in a very women-unfriendly family and country, I view transgenderism as another robe that misogyny wears.

I watched “Panti’s noble call” and really felt sympathy for people who felt that they were “born in the wrong body”…and later reflected that at no point in his speech did he reference that the abuse he experienced is something that young women deal with ALL THE TIME.

You titled your questionnaire “speaking up for reality” and having been gaslighted almost to oblivion when married, I promised myself that I would never again collude in someone else’s bulls**t. I am very kind,  considerate and empathetic- but I will not reduce my own boundaries to accommodate someone else’s needs. They have to take responsibility for themselves.

I speak to my children constantly (teens) and advise them to keep their heads down about the issue at school.

I refused to work with a school (professionally) that wanted to modify a bathroom to accommodate a (trans) child, under the guise of adapting the bathroom to meet the needs of another (different) disabled child.

I tentatively raise my voice with friends- but most are still at the point of “what’s the harm in being kind?” or “what difference does it make?” without thinking it through to it’s logical outcome, when manipulated by someone who refuses to recognise usual social boundaries, or who refuses to reciprocate respect.

Not really, but then I havent yet been brave- I really worry for my livelihood (I work with ASD children and teens).

MRP, Ireland

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Healthcare Parent

I want to protect my lesbian daughter, and all the other girls out there

This issue is important to me because I see the risks to women and girls. I want to protect my lesbian daughter, and all the other girls out there.

I’ve attended public meetings of GC feminists, debated on social media and talked to a number of women IRL (in real life). I’ve donated to a few fundraisers and signed many petitions.

I have had difficult conversations with my children, who are split, two pro GC and two anti GC. I have been endlessly insulted and threatened on twitter. I’ve had temporary bans for harmless comments.

JD, Feminist, mother, worker, New Zealand

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Parent

I’m working hard to find my voice

I care about the protection of womens sex based rights and the right to discuss our issues openly and without fear of reprisal. 

I have four daughters and am frankly terrified that they are growing up in a world where they cannot even call themselves “girls” or “women” without accusations of being exclusionary or intolerant.

I have joined twitter and am using it to educate and research and gain solidarity and strength from likeminded campaigners.

I plan to attend some real life womens rights meetings once they are able to start up again. I’m a natural introvert and find it very challenging to speak up but I’m working hard to find my voice.

KatieA

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Healthcare Parent

To throw our rights away on fantastical lies is abhorrent

This matters to me because through studying history I have seen the struggle that women went through in order to garner our rights. To throw them away on fantastical lies is abhorrent to me.

I have also watched as the TRAs (trans rights activists) have engaged in attacks straight out of Mao’s strategy book attacking individuals whose only crime is stating the truth.

The erasure of women’s rights, the re-writing of history, the erasure of lesbianism and the erasure of safe spaces for the vulnerable is a coordinated attack and one I feel that I must stand against.

I have made Twitter posts and I have driven my husband mad with my rantings about indoctrination of children at school

I have experienced vitriol on Twitter.

A, I was part of the silent majority, now I add my voice

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Parent

The gender dysphoria is not viewed as a mental health issue and must be accepted at face value and be continually validated

My daughter is adopted from care. She has suffered neglect and abuse. As a very little girl she was powerless to stop that abuse. Now at 17 she believes she is a boy, suffers from depression and a dissociative disorder.

All three are caused by her trauma but the gender dysphoria is not viewed as a mental health issue and must be accepted at face value and be continually validated

I have raised my concerns about the affirmative approach with school – who did not inform us when our daughter started expressing discomfort about her gender to 2 male members of staff.

College view her as a boy and when I raise questions about the cause of a trans identity I am treated with incredulity that I could hold such out- dated opinions! Fortunately social services and our psychologist are more curious.

Not really experienced consequences – other than being viewed as a transphobic dinosaur by some college staff. We tread a very tricky path with our daughter but she is still with us despite knowing our deep concerns. This does put a considerable strain on family life.  

E, Adoptive parent