Categories
Public Sector

As a result of the Victoria Derbyshire show, I was overwhelmed by support and kindness from women I had not met

I care because I have rejected gender stereotypes since my teenage years in the 1970s.  I strongly disagree with having to tolerate men in women’s spaces.  I am particularly angered (on behalf of my daughter) by the takeover of University Feminist Societies by men.

As a Non-Legal Member of the Employment Tribunals (England and Wales) I was astonished that transgender discrimination was featured at the 2019 Regional Training Day.  In 24 years as a member I have never come across such a case.  Nor had any of my colleagues.

I was annoyed at myself for destroying the slides used in the presentation, but on reflection they are normally sent out in advance.  I have searched in vain for any trace of them on the Judicial Internet or my ejudiciary.net email account.

Many colleagues were, like me, horrified at the notion it was fine to call a person “Queer” if that’s what they chose.  We were informed that sex was “assigned at birth”.  At that point I thought “I have to say something here”.

I raised my hand and said “Sex is not assigned at birth. Like many women, I have given birth.  Sex is a clinical observation. It is important for the treatment of many medical conditions.  Often it is known long before birth, at the 20 week scan.  I’ll just leave that there”.  I didn’t expect a response and didn’t get one.  But many of my colleagues indicated subtly that they supported my view.

On another occasion I was identified on Twitter by a BBC production assistant as someone who had rejoined the Labour Party after Jeremy Corbyn announced he would step down as Leader. 

I was invited on the Victoria Derbyshire show to ask a question regarding my Labour Party membership.  During a telephone conversation prior to the show I had a list of questions prepared that I would like to ask.  One of them was “Are transwomen women?”

It was confirmed that that is the question I would ask. I had decided to frame my question around the specific issues of Labour All Women Shortlists and CLP Women’s Officer roles.

I was as nervous as hell but thankfully I am semi-retired. I did wonder if I might put my Judicial Appointment at risk.  I thought of Maya Forstater, whose Crowdfund I had supported.  I felt it would be dishonourable not to take this opportunity.

In the studio, they took away my bag because they didn’t want “the set to look like an airport lounge”.  I wish I had remembered my bottle of water inside, because when I stood up to speak my mouth was so dry I could barely speak.  I got my point across though.  It was received in complete silence.  Keir Starmer said “We should all dial down the rhetoric” (?).  Lisa Nandy and Rebecca Long Bailey informed me that “Trans women are women”.   

Thankfully, for me, there have been no negative consequences.  I sat on a case in early March with the Employment Judge who took the training session.  He remembered me from that, but was professional and friendly.  I felt like perhaps I had struck a chord. 

As a result of the Victoria Derbyshire show, I was overwhelmed by support and kindness from women I had not met on Twitter before, and invited to join the Facebook group.  I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I’d passed up that opportunity.  I think I have been blocked by most transgender purists.

Fiona Robertson, Semi-retired former TU Officer, Employment Tribunal Member

Categories
Private sector

Sex based rights matter – they keep women and girls safe.

This matters to me because sex based rights matter – they keep women and girls safe. It gives women and girls opportunities they would not otherwise have. It’s as simple as that.

I have posted on social media, I have discussed with friends, I have studied to educate myself on the subject, I’ve spoken to trans activists who also recognize sex and want to protect sex based rights. I’ve become part of feminist communities (that center women). I created new accounts when my banned account was deleted (10k followers on Twitter – lost that account for mentioning J Yaniv)

Banned from Twitter, I’m now using a pseudonym  (hiding my professional identity) on Facebook . I’ve lost two close friends who consider themselves “non binary” insist on coerced pronouns, use terms like TERF, and think males should be allowed in rape crisis centers – and that women should concede spaces.

RS, Liberal turned radical feminist, Europe

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Others

I used to be a trans ally, 100% about TWAW

I used to be a trans ally, 100% about TWAW. However, back of my mind was always “where does this logically take us” Then I read about terfs, and how horrible they are. I discovered I agreed with everything they said. Men are not women, porn is not empowering and sex work is not like other work. Then I read all the hatred towards these woman and started getting filled with despair and depression. I just could not believe the world had gone so haywire. I started getting enraged.

I care because our rights as women are disappearing, how men have colonized women and taken our sports, and have taken over and bastardized feminism. All their pushing for sex work and kids to be in states of perpetual puberty. I could not stay silent anymore.

I started off anonymously on Twitter, then was banned after I refused to call a man who posted a pic of himself with an assault weapon and the words Kill Terfs, a woman. I was banned. His post stayed.

I then started talking at work, here and there. I started talking to my girlfriends and my sisters. I started posting GC stuff on my facebook and then I started challenging the pro trans people I met. I met up with a rad fem group where I live and attended a Megan Murphy talk at the TPL, which was protested by 1000 men and antifa screaming Shame in my face.

I post all the time about this issue so people can see what is happening to women and understand this extreme misogyny is not a vulnerable minority, it is a men’s rights group with a ton of power. It has nothing to do with the left.

I have been banned twice from twitter, once over the man with the gun and the second over the man who claimed JK Rowling was a pedophile. I refused to use pronouns. I have been called a Nazi by an old friend. A long time love called me a transphobic bigot and I continue to be told “I am obsessed”. Of course I am, we are fighting for our very rights. I have also been shunned professionally by a VP who I attended rallies with. Suddenly I was a right wing bigot.

Deanna S, left wing socialist GC\Radfem. Never backing down, Canada

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Others

I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian

As a woman this is very close to my heart. I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian. I also have endometriosis which is hard enough without having people tell me I can’t call myself a woman!

I have connected with radfems and gender critical feminists around the world, via Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter. I have supported other women and tried to spread awareness of the issues, and am currently in the process of organising an in-person group for women supporting women.

I’ve been sent death and rape threats for years now, suicide baiting, name calling, attempts to manipulate me and trigger my ptsd. Every day I am bombarded with hate – I have to take mini breaks every so often to manage my mental health.

K, 31, Australian, critical feminist

Categories
Healthcare Parent

I am appalled by the message to children

As a mother, I am appalled by the message to children that there might be something wrong with their body just because they don’t fit into society’s stupid rigid stereotypes for girls and boys. As a feminist I am concerned about the natural erosion of women’s hard won rights that comes from eroding the definition of the word woman. I am worried about women losing their safe spaces and women-only platforms.

I have written to my MP and spoken to close family members but I don’t really post on social media and I would be too anxious to post about this. I did tweet using the #theycallmeTERF hashtag once but that’s all. I have supported petitions and crowd funding for legal battles though.

I haven’t really spoken up so no. It makes me feel very anxious.

Jen, Australia

Categories
Parent Private sector survivor

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs

This matters to me because I am a 40 year old mother of a 4 year old daughter. I have been sexually assaulted (police involved) at my place at work as a steward at a premier league football club. I took it in my stride but my wonderful male supervisor witnessed it and had to remind me that it was unacceptable and called the police for me (I was conditioned to accept groping/casual sexual assault).

Beaten by a boyfriend between the ages of 16 and 19. Been called frigid/loose as a school girl by school boys. Flashed 3 times as a teenager, the third time the male adult masturbated in front of me. Received comments about my body/appearance constantly since teenage years. Sexually assaulted on a train at night, reported to police the next day, nothing they could do.

Most of this took place in PUBLIC! Fuck inviting this to a private (previously) safe space where nudity is involved.

I am an HR Manager and have supported a male colleague through transition. He subsequently gaslighted me and started using the female toilet 24 hours after becoming a trans woman, in the flick of a switch.

I am supposed to disregard the fact that he is in fact in possession of full male sexual organs. I ended up triggered and in counselling and uncomfortable to now use the shared toilets.  I don’t want this shit for my daughter. I DON’T WANT THIS SHIT FOR ANYONE!

I’ve followed feminists and dipped my toe in the water by asking Jon Ronson exactly what he felt that Graham Linehan had done wrong. Got threatened, terfed and gaslit. I am now prepared to level up!

I have also been berated and hated on by my woke sister, who in fact in her youth, witnessed me being beaten by my then boyfriend on more than one occasion. 😦

Owning womanhood for the first time in my life, anakindrytalker

Categories
Healthcare

As an eighteen-year-old student nurse, I didn’t speak up about Jimmy Saville

This matters to me because I am a woman and a mother of daughters, I care about our rights and opportunities and I care about the dignity and choices of all women. As a Nurse, I also care that people with gender dysphoria are able to access psychological therapies and the treatment that they need.

It matters to me that women and girls can participate fully in society, whether that is with our career choices, via sport, or through social activities, and I want women and girls to have the privacy and dignity they need when dealing with intimate body functions. I care passionately that my daughters can be the women they wish to be, expressing their personality and identity their way and I want them to enjoy safe sex with partners of their choice.

I care that regulatory capture has already eroded safeguarding boundaries and is seeking to reduce them further.  I care that vulnerable people can be persuaded that being Trans / Non-binary will solve their complex issues. Professionally, I have encountered people having more surgery “because if I just had my breasts enlarged/face sculpted/other procedure I would be happy” These people must not be sold a lie.

This especially matters to me, because of something I didn’t speak up about. Thirty plus years ago, as an eighteen-year-old student nurse, I didn’t speak up about Jimmy Saville.

At the time it was a trivial issue and I had no idea of the breadth of the man’s depravity, I just thought he was a creep. But I have asked myself many times since, what if? What if I had said something? what if others had said something? could he have been stopped sooner if the incidents had been stitched together and the picture was clear? We need sunlight.

I bore my friends and family endlessly. I tweet – though under a pseudonym – about issues that affect women and girls, have contributed to crowdfunders and have tried to raise awareness on online platforms, endeavouring to patiently, factually challenge incorrect posts and to repost and celebrate the views of feminists I respect.

I have written to my MP, responded to consultations and am part of online feminist groups. I have written and emailed organisations whose policies undermine the rights of women and girls. I have a long list of organisations whose products I boycott as a result.

Unfortunately, my nursing code of conduct and healthcare employers social media guidelines limit what I can write in my own name – so no I haven’t experience negative consequences, because I work within the rules. I would like to go beyond them.

Helen, Woman, Mother, Nurse,

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Others

I am angry about the drift towards rejecting the term “same-sex attraction”

I care about the conflation of sex and “gender identity” because it risks undermining the legal and political rights of women and lesbians. How can the pay gap be tracked when people who have achieved a top job as a male then identify as a woman, changing their employers statistics overnight and erasing any trace of the real picture? No longer being able to reliably record, collate and analyse statistics of the social, political and economic impact of our biological sex will make it impossible to have an evidence-based discussion about sexism and misogyny.

I am angry about the drift towards rejecting the term “same-sex attraction” and that organisations such as Stonewall are not supporting lesbians, and are actively silencing discussion on this issue.

I am very worried about the numbers of young lesbians that report that they resorted to defining themselves as non-binary, asexual or “queer”, often being coerced into having relationships with males, and taking several years to realise that they were lesbians.

I am very proud of those young women now detransitioning/desisting from a trans identity, but am very upset about their experiences of a conveyor-belt approach to hastily validating and medicalising their trans identity, with no consideration of the other factors that had led them to start on this path, and no exploration/promotion of the possibility that they were lesbians.

Given that such a high proportion of those in prison who identify as “transwomen” are convicted of serious and sexual offences, then either there is a high proportion of transwomen who are perpetrators, or a high proportion of perpetrators who falsely claim to be transwomen – either way, including biological males in women-only spaces clearly adds a new and statistically very significant risk, and the silencing around discussing this is nothing new in the context of sexual and physical abuse.

I have initiated many discussions in real-life with people and have shared articles on social media. I have taken part in discussions on social media and tried to focus my thoughts on those who are new to this discussion and need to see something other than name-calling and antagonism.

I have had a huge amount of my time taken up by having to keep responding to antagonistic and accusatory comments, rather than leave them stand – it is difficult to get the balance between not allowing people to maliciously take up my time, and ensuring that they do not get to dictate the tone and context of the discussion. I have been very fearful of reprisals and targetting of organisations that I’m publicly associated with, so have always had to double-check everything I write/say.

Jill H, Lesbian feminist

Categories
Men

I’m a feminist. Quite simple really

This matters to me because I’m a feminist. Quite simple really.

I’ve communicated issues to others personally. I’ve interacted on social media platforms.

A, Father, brother, husband – perhaps in that order

Categories
Private sector

My response is: I won’t do any of that

This matters to me personally. I was raised by a conservative, religious father and a loving, submissive and leftist mum; and was educated (2-17 years old) at only-girls Catholic schools in Spain. My childhood and adolescence were filled with a cognitive dissonance: women are submissive, virginal (resulting in nuns, or a wives and mothers) whilst educated, intelligent and capable (effort, study, discipline).

Although I was already challenging it at home, it wasn’t until university that the external pressure was over (end of school and divorced parents) but not the internal fight. It took years of reading books that I realised the damage that traditional gender stereotypes bring across society.

I have been discussing about gender equality, LGB, religion and politics at home, with friends and at work. I listen, ask for more information, look for alternatives, deep dive. I read and observe: fiction and non-fiction, movies and documentaries to understand the world that surrounds me. I am constantly amazed at how both our brains and our societies work: such imperfect systems capable of such good things.

And all of a sudden, in the name of inclusivity, I am now presented with three options: (1) I can be a ciswoman and perform a submissive, virginal, traditional role (in a very liberal set, where hard porn and sex work are free choices; and make up and high heels actually empower me); (2) I can change the way I dress and hair style and become non-binary (because I am financially independent, care about my career and I am assertive at work); or (3) I can have cosmetic surgery and become a different person altogether. My response is: I won’t do any of that.

I easily recognise any movement that prevents open discussion, denies material reality / science, or forces me to become something I don’t believe in: I have been there and don’t want it back, thank you very much.

In the big scheme of things, I have done very little to raise my voice. I am very vocal with my family, friends and with (a carefully chosen group of) colleagues though. I attend seminars, training and discussions around feminism, social welfare, humanism and similar. I used to take part in Diversity & Inclusion groups at work focused on gender and LGBT. Sometimes I attend political demonstrations but I am not affiliated to any party.

When I joined Twitter about a year ago, my head exploded. I used to be a follower rather than joining in the conversation; read the news (cry a bit), follow a few feminists (feel empowered) and comedians (have a laugh), and watch videos of puppies (aren’t they beautiful?). Then, I kept following a few more women, raised questions, praised interesting articles… and became angrier and angrier (I prefer respectful, no-violent anger than despair).

I (softly) raised a few questions with colleagues, was a bit annoyed at a biological man receiving a Female in Business award; tried to understand the British culture and trans activism (so closely linked to Western individualism and post-modernism); and kept repeating the same mantra: “we should all be free to express ourselves in whatever way we want; and I should treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way I want to be treated.”

When I started listening to the Labour candidates denying sex or giving preferential treatment to males, I was annoyed. But when I attended the solidarity rally for Women’s Place UK and LGB Alliance, I became astonished. I had been in a bubble so I decided to respond to the Scottish Government consultation on their gender recognition bill, and have become a bit more vocal on Twitter (which is not made for my long diatribes).

I am aware of the noise, the ignorance, the science-deniers, the misogynists; but also the kind, hopeful people who just want a better world for everyone.

I haven’t been openly critical about trans issues at work so the colleagues I have been able to talk to, agree with me (they have been even more critical than me who used to embrace inclusion without realising there are actual sex-deniers in this debate). But I know a little about low-key misogyny.

Four years into my previous company, I got the sponsorship of the female Director of the department to design, create and launch a training module for female middle-managers with high potential. Soon after it was launched, she left the company and was replaced by a male Director. On his first day, my (male) line manager and I sat at his office to meet each other, and I explained my part in the programme.

I am very expressive when I talk about something I love: my face turns red, I move my hands a lot… He wasn’t happy. He looked right at me and queried whether I would become “rebellious”. I swore internally whilst nervously laughing a little, looked at my manager and asked if I had ever been problematic to which he replied “no” (big smile too, uneasy and surprised in equal measure). I went home, swore in Spanish (best language for swearing, when you roll those “j” and “r”), spoke to my father (we disagree on plenty of things but he knows how to deal with difficult male senior managers in the workplace because he used to be one of them) and went back to work.

I spoke to my line manager who encouraged me to show my skills and good performance, but had to act as intermediary (aka human shield) in a couple of more occasions. I knew this Director would not help me in my career. Several female colleagues were equally mistrustful but couldn’t do much due to his seniority, so a few months later a (female) Senior Manager took me under her wing and helped me find a brilliant job opportunity in another team. I was very happy to move on.

There Is Always Hope, thereisalwaysh