Categories
Healthcare Men

As a gay man, I thought I was part of a movement which was dismantling gender stereotypes

This matters to me because I’m a gay man who supports feminism. I see sexism as the fundamental structural inequality. It means that women are unsafe in their homes, workplaces and the street and disadvantaged in every part of their lives. It also means that lesbian, gay and bisexual people and all gender non-conforming people (assertive women and feminine men) are under attack.

As a gay man, I thought I was part of a movement which was dismantling gender stereotypes. Now I feel the LGBT movement is reinforcing sexist stereotypes and dismantling the protections and special provisions that are meant to try to rebalance a sexist society. Self ID and encouragement of children to be trans is the opposite of progress.

I want full legal and social protection for trans people who definitely face discrimination but not at the expense of women’s spaces, sports and sexual equality provisions.

I try to discuss through Facebook but am worried about LGBT activists.

S

Categories
Voluntary sector

I was born with a condition which meant my reproductive organs were not formed properly

This matters to me for two reasons; One, it’s a fundamental threat to women’s rights. and more personally, I was born with a condition which meant my reproductive organs were not formed properly. This was and has been given many names over the years but it remains and issue which is dealt with in the shadows of healthcare and support. Most people just don’t know anything about it. And that’s the way most of us have lived our lives.

It’s newest name is Intersex, which is an umbrella term and doesn’t really accurately reflect any womans experiece and has also had the misfortune of sounding like we are some hybrid between two sexes. Needless to say this misnomer has been a gift to the ‘gender’ movement.

Now I have to read about how our complex health and in some cases mental health issues somehow ‘prove’ that biological sex doesn’t exist. And if I speak up I’m a ”TERF’

I work for a charity and whilst it hasn’t really been a major focus. We have had one diversity training session which spent a lot of time on trans issues but at that time I wasn’t really focused on it. Now I dread a Stonewall type session- I really don’t think I could stomach it without possibly getting in trouble.

The only saving grace of this pandemic is that the focus will be on financial survival and other health strategies for my employer for the near future.

I’m a coward and don’t speak up. That said I used to be able to talk online in a private forum about my condition, but there’s nowhere safe to do that now.

Rena, in the shadows

Categories
Voluntary sector

I want people to live their true lives and be happy but not at the expense of women and girls

This matters to me because we can’t deny science and change fundamental realities about men and women to suit a tiny but vocal minority. I want people to live their true lives and be happy but not at the expense of women and girls.

I also really loathe the idea that repeating a mantra TWAW means it’s true. It’s just rubbish. Also every female I know ( including my 12 year old daughter in school uniform) has been hassled and received unwanted attention from men. It’s just madness and gaslighting to think that some men won’t try to take advantage of self id to access women’s spaces for abusive purposes. Why can’t men make space? I’m sick of the unfairness of it.

I responded to the GRA consultation. I’ve signed petitions and made some donations to e.g. Vancouver women’s shelter. I’ve discussed vigorously with friends and family. I also removed some signs saying gender neutral toilet that someone stuck over the women’s sign at my work. At a Secret Cinema event when the usher was asking pregnant people to come this way, I shouted “You mean women” loudly enough to attract attention. But fundamentally I feel I’m cowardly. My views  would go down very badly at my work and I do need the job. I do really admire those brave enough to speak out and I’m sorry I’m not more openly supportive.

A lot of people I know share my views and I’m not massively open about them to people I don’t know. Unfortunately my daughter’s think I’m a terf but I’m working on them…

Mamie, Sunlight not gaslight

Categories
Healthcare Others

Scotgov have effectively erased adult human females from legislation

This matters to me because pseudo-science, with zero-material evidence to support it, is used promote the lie that children can have a brain that ‘thought processes’ like that of the opposite sex. This is used to commit sterilisation and irreparable FGM on teenage girls and MGM on teen boys….crimes in my opinion endorsed by Government, committed by the NHS. Lifelong damage, just as child sexual abuse causes lifelong damage.

Women and girls safe/r spaces are being destroyed, placing them at greater risk of sexual crimes. Girls being forced to share changing rooms with naked men, as these men can watch girls getting undressed….all came about because Scotgov funded numerous trans-lobby groups who misdirected schools, womens orgs,  NHS, prisons re womens rights to single-sex spaces. Women imprisoned with violent men, incl rapists.

The rights to equal and fair treatment fought for by women…are being taken by men…handed to them by Government. Women’s scholarships, grants, sports opened up to men….effectively re-imposing the disadvantage in society that women fought against. Scotgov have effectively erased adult human females from legislation because any man can ‘identify’ into being a woman. We don’t exist in Law!

The Police, NHS, local Govt, central Govt, Education depts have all been complicit in imposing and enforcing trans-ideology across society.

I have leafleted on the streets and through doors, worked on stalls to inform the public, and talk to everyone I can, every chance I can. left leaflets on buses, chatted at bus stops, in supermarket queues. I have challenged politicians…only to find they are not interested…in fact, they have gaslighted me, used sneering, mocking tones, lyingly misrepresented most of what has been said to them (social media).

Consequences to speaking out have seen me threatened with rape, with being shot, battered. Told I am a bigot, to STFU, and have men tell me, a lesbian, that they are lesbians, been exposed to d*ck pictures. My mental health has been very seriously impacted, to the point of extreme rage, overwhelming hopelessness, violent and suicidal thoughts. There will be no forgiveness for this travesty against women and children.

Les, No forgiveness!

Categories
Others

Scientific concepts I use as a biologist are being turned into mush

I care because women’s needs (safe spaces, scientific data collection, fair sports) are being subsumed in order for people to feel they’re supportive of an oppressed minority.  I am deeply saddened that girls are told if they hate their bodies they can just alter them at will, with no ill effects.  Scientific concepts I use as a biologist are being turned into mush.

The idea of a “lady brain” that transgender theory espouses was used to block my mother and grandmother from challenging majors at university. 

Spaces in “serious” majors were reserved for men.  I do not want a return to this idea that women’s brains are specialized for feminine things.

I have started quiet conversations with those I am very close to and trust completely.  Always in person to see each others faces, and earnestness. I express concerns on Iimited topics at a time, staying focused on objective facts that we can agree upon, and the need for fairness.  I have supported women in Gender Critical online spaces.

I did have one argument with a loved one that meant we could not discuss any related issues for a couple years.  I sense he thought I harbored some illogical bigotry.  A later conversation did address that issue, but there was a long time where some news items or entertainment would cause uncomfortable silence.  I have not brought these issues up with any online friends as I know most would interpret my concerns in the most negative way possible.  They want to maintain standing as “good liberals”.

Trish D, environmental scientist, USA

Categories
Others

Self ID creates a huge hole in norms of day to day safeguarding

So many reasons. I care VERY MUCH that women’s voices seem to be repeatedly and routinely ignored, disparaged and attacked. I firmly believe that no child is born into the wrong body. I have gay siblings and the idea that they are somehow fundamentally ‘wrong’ strikes me as deeply and distressingly homophobic, and that this opens the door to a warped form of conversion therapy.

I do not think it is possible to change sex, and that one of the worst aspects of this is the potential for exploitation  – financial or emotional/psychological/sexual – of troubled individuals (plus it allows for such horrors as forced sex change /conversion therapy such as is seen in Iran). I think that sexual predators DO go to great lengths to access potential victims and that self ID creates a huge hole in what have been up to now socially accepted norms of day to day safeguarding for women and girls in certain contexts – I believe that both men and women should be able to access single sex spaces and to know that those spaces will be single sex.

It is simply not bigotry to express concerns for the safety of women and girls. It is not hate to state that sex exists and that women and girls are subject to discrimination (at best) BECAUSE THEY ARE FEMALE.

I have done mainly social media, and that mainly (but not entirely) anonymously.

Not experienced consequences on a significant scale – but my partner has struggled with my interest in speaking out about this issue.

Milly

Categories
Lesbians survivor

I keep telling them that they are allowed to refuse care that makes them discomfortable

My family consists of my sister, my mother and my grandmother. I have no living male relatives. I am a lesbian who has been sexually assaulted, my mother has been harrassed, my sister and grandmother have been raped, my girlfriend has been raped. My sister has mental and physical disabilities and needs professional support, so does my grandmother.

I want to stand up for their right and my right to places that are free of male people, I want to stand up for their right and my right to refuse being treated or cared for by a male-bodied person, without fear of being accused of unjustified discrimination or gaslit into “embracing their discomfort” and accept a male person as female.

My sister also has a schizophrenia, she relies on strong medication to maintain a grasp of reality and live a mostly independent life. Messing with her knowledge and perception of reality, particularly with regard to the demographic that deeply traumatized her body and mind, may threaten her mental health and independence.

I do not fight for or against trans people, I fight for acknowledgement of reality on which legislation can be based that includes safeguards and exceptions to protect the weak and those who cannot fight for themselves or have trouble articulating and defending their needs.

I am following the debate and arguments in social and mainstream media. I do not live in an anglophone country, but the issue is arriving here, too, and I’m getting ready to engage those parties involved in the legislative process. I monitor guidelines at the institutions that provide care for my loved ones and I keep telling them that they are allowed to refuse care that makes them discomfortable.

Some friends from an LGBTQ friendly hobby group have cut themselves off.

Anna V, middle aged woman working in IT, Germany

Categories
Others

I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian

As a woman this is very close to my heart. I’m an abuse and rape survivor, and a lesbian. I also have endometriosis which is hard enough without having people tell me I can’t call myself a woman!

I have connected with radfems and gender critical feminists around the world, via Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter. I have supported other women and tried to spread awareness of the issues, and am currently in the process of organising an in-person group for women supporting women.

I’ve been sent death and rape threats for years now, suicide baiting, name calling, attempts to manipulate me and trigger my ptsd. Every day I am bombarded with hate – I have to take mini breaks every so often to manage my mental health.

K, 31, Australian, critical feminist

Categories
Others

If she can stand up for what’s right, it’s time I did too

This matters to me because we are women, and our biology is a fundamental factor in our oppression worldwide and throughout history. To ignore it, or pretend it isn’t exactly what it is, is just ridiculous, not to mention extremely dangerous. Aside from that, I’m a believer in facts and reality, and I won’t pretend something is X if I know it to be Y. I disagree with compelled speech with every part of my being.

I have created an anonymous twitter account to join conversations and show my support, in light of the brave actions of JK Rowling. If she can stand up for what’s right, it’s time I did too. However I’m sorry I do so anonymously, I’m just scared of TR activists and what they might do if I annoy one of them. I also read and research a lot around the topic, and speak to my friends on the matter where it feels safe to do so.

Not yet really, but I’ve only just started to be properly vocal this week. I imagine it’s only a matter of time.

V GKC E, 31 year old female, who won’t be forced in to a lie that endangers others

Categories
Healthcare Parent trans familiy

Strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story

I care because my 12 year old daughter announced she is trans and is socially transitioning 11 months ago. I care because strangers have been given access to and coached my daughter to delete her childhood and replace her future with their transgender story. I care because my 12 year old daughter has been asking to go on hormone blockers before puberty because they’re safe. I care because it feels like my daughter is being taken away from me.

It was very clear to me from the beginning that raising my voice in any visible way would very quickly lead to being cast as transphobic and bigoted, someone to be excluded and worked around. I have spent months looking to understand what is going on, how the machine works. I have learnt that as a parent I am up against YouTube with adults selling the transgender story to my daughter. I am up against a local LGBTU+ youth charity tutoring my daughter privately on the transgender story. I am up against the NHS with their services to process the transgender story. I am up against my daughter’s school who are validating and authenticating the transgender story, and I am up against my ex wife who affirms the transgender story.

The transgender story is just that, it’s a story. Someone has made it up. There’s no science, there’s no law. But it’s story that is consuming children, women and parents to provide evidence the story is real, that it’s not a story. It’s as big a story as creationism, as big a story as Father Christmas.

The machine is literally just that, a machine, at its core it’s just a defined pathway of tick boxes to account for and ultimately protect institutional decisions. Its purpose is to provide a group of adults with validation the story they made up is real, based on children lives. The machine’s existence in this country is an outcome of institutional neglect and cowardice, my disbelief has no bounds.

Raising my voice means a number of things. Being the best possible dad I can be, be more available and listen more. Keeping close to the YouTube algorithm to see what’s being pushed to my daughter. Making it clear that the LGBTQ+ youth charity does not have my parental permission to continue time with my daughter. Telling the GP that I do not support a referral to Tavistock that my ex-wife organised. Opening up a private psychotherapy route to support our daughter with her development in a professional and open minded way. I haven’t worked out how to deal with the school. The school are more detached, their motives and use of safeguarding best practice and resources on any topic is hugely fragmented and difficult to work with.

I have benefited from the bravery of Keira Bell, and many women, teenage girls and a few men willing to put themselves on the front line of extreme personal aggression to bring this story to the attention of many people. I cannot effectively express my gratitude enough, their work is having an immediate and direct effect on offering protection for my daughter from the machine.

I have benefited from the recent political interest their work has generated, and I have benefited from Covid19 that has put a huge brake on the machine.

I contribute financially to support mumsnet in the face of the realities of #nodebate, I support crowd funding legal cases as they appear. I would like to spend more time working 121 with other parents but I don’t have the reserves of energy yet for this.

I have been called transphobic, bigoted and verbally abused for questioning the machine, questioning the story. Asking questions like what’s the rush, why does this have to happen so fast? Exactly when does professional child psychotherapy actually happen to take a look at a gently bumpy childhood? How can a LGBTU+ youth charity with no child professional qualification have such free and protected access, and influence, over a child’s life choices? Which school roles, what qualifications and what criteria do they follow to bypass my parental authority at the school? Why does social transitioning need to delete a child’s history?

I have been very careful about how and when to visibly raise my voice. I am in a fragile position where my daughter has been well tutored with the transgender story, and unqualified people have the authority to transact the transgender story without my parental authority. The natural outcome will be to reduce my role in her life to being an absent father who’s principle purpose is to provide money. That popular, age old stereotypical man we thought we’d lost many years ago.

When I did choose to raise my voice with the LGBTU+ youth charity not having my parental permission to continue their time with my daughter, my daughter attempted to work around me with the school to continue. An action the school had coached her to follow if this happened, based on the trans inclusion policy they follow. I got lucky with Covid19. The impact over the last eight months, has been massive. I have lived a life of sole dedication to this topic, it is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. This has been much, much harder to handle than our divorce, the stress has been monumental.

A dad