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Education Healthcare Parent

We are not a subset of women

This matters to me because I do not want my daughters to grow up in a world where women’s rights are diminished.  We are not a subset of women. I worry for the teenage girls in the school where I work, where they may lose their right to same sex toilets/changing rooms.

I have donated to crowdfunders. I have emailed notes of support to women under fire who express their opinion. I have spoken to my husband and children.  I would more than likely lose my job if I went public with my opinions and I cannot afford to do that.

I have not spoken up. I feel bad about this but am truly not in a position to do so….yet.

JJ

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Parent

I will not be pigeon-holed into being what gender has decided for me

My lived life tells me that the experiences that I have had from the earliest age until now have been informed by my biology. It is my biology that has created the oppression that I have experienced as a woman not the social construct of gender.

I did not conform to the stereotypical image of what girls should be, and as I grew older I did not conform to gender stereotypical woman.  That said I am woman because that is my sex.

 I will not be pigeon holed into being what gender has decided for me but I will be what a woman is, a woman. The construct of gender has demanded that I should adopt a way of being that exists to satisfy the fantasies of men.  That to me is not what being a woman is.  I do not exist to conform to the whims of our patriarchal structures. Transgender politics have become a loud voice that demands women acquiesce even more to the whims to patriarchal constructs of what a women is.  It demands that the lived biological experiences of women are denied and replaced with gender identity politics which require women to consent even further to the will of men to dominate them.  It demands that ‘woman’ can only be defined by a gendered based male narrative.  If we disagree we should face violence.

I have used whatever means I can, writing letters, going on protests about the loss of single sex spaces, written articles.

I have been threatened with violence, told to expect to be raped by lesbian dicks, trolled on social media.

Paula , Educator, activist, socialist, mother

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Education Parent

I worry that we cannot speak our minds without being called bigots.

As a mother to three daughters and a teacher, this really worries me.  I worry about the girls’ safety when using public toilets and changing rooms. I worry about competitive sport – will they be competing in fair competitions? I worry that we cannot speak our minds without being called bigots.

Mostly I worry about my middle daughter who is a “Tom boy”. If she is gay – will she be convinced that she was “born in the wrong body”? Will she want to transition? How will I possibly handle that? Will she be taken away from me? This terrifies me. 

What have you done? Very little. I’m too scared to.

The bravest thing I have done is share something on Facebook saying “Happy International Women’s Day all you adult human females” alongside a Team GB montage of amazing sports women.

I have begun to boycott products and services that I feel do not support women. Nike, Flora, Audible, Always.

I like pages and stories on Facebook. I have donated to LGB Alliance.

I rant to my husband but don’t say much to anyone else in case I am branded a bigot or get into trouble at work. I have not been brave enough to speak up.

PP, Mother of sporty girls

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Healthcare Parent

I promised myself that I would never again collude in someone else’s bulls**t.

I care because I have a daughter- having grown up in a very women-unfriendly family and country, I view transgenderism as another robe that misogyny wears.

I watched “Panti’s noble call” and really felt sympathy for people who felt that they were “born in the wrong body”…and later reflected that at no point in his speech did he reference that the abuse he experienced is something that young women deal with ALL THE TIME.

You titled your questionnaire “speaking up for reality” and having been gaslighted almost to oblivion when married, I promised myself that I would never again collude in someone else’s bulls**t. I am very kind,  considerate and empathetic- but I will not reduce my own boundaries to accommodate someone else’s needs. They have to take responsibility for themselves.

I speak to my children constantly (teens) and advise them to keep their heads down about the issue at school.

I refused to work with a school (professionally) that wanted to modify a bathroom to accommodate a (trans) child, under the guise of adapting the bathroom to meet the needs of another (different) disabled child.

I tentatively raise my voice with friends- but most are still at the point of “what’s the harm in being kind?” or “what difference does it make?” without thinking it through to it’s logical outcome, when manipulated by someone who refuses to recognise usual social boundaries, or who refuses to reciprocate respect.

Not really, but then I havent yet been brave- I really worry for my livelihood (I work with ASD children and teens).

MRP, Ireland

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Healthcare

I think that it is crucial for female only spaces to exist

I think that it is crucial for female only spaces to exist. I was raped in a changing room and I do not wish to see a woman with a penis in a changing room or in the showers of my gym.

I took action against turning the staff ladies’ washroom at my workplace into a unisex washroom. Funny enough, the mens’ room was supposed to stay.

I no longer talk to a few people I was friendly with.

C, Gynaecologist, Germany

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Others

I ran a marathon while carrying a flag that said “SAVE WOMEN’S SPORTS”

As a woman, I want privacy and safety when I use public bathrooms, locker rooms, etc. I want sports to be fair; I want young female athletes to benefit from them the same way I did, and I want elite female athletes I look up to to have the wins they deserve.

I fiercely believe that everyone has the right to choose the circumstances under which people of the opposite sex see them undressed as well as the circumstances under which they see members of the opposite sex undressed. This is true for situations that affect me, such as public bathroom usage and the sex of the doctor who performs my pap smear, as well as for situations that don’t and hopefully never will, such as having to share a prison shower with a biological male or being pressured to wax male genitalia.

I will steadfastly defend this right to choose not only for myself, but for women everywhere.

I ran a marathon while carrying a flag that said “SAVE WOMEN’S SPORTS” as well as the dictionary definition of the word “woman” (“ADULT HUMAN FEMALE”).

I’ve written to my government representatives. I’ve researched and written speeches, which I’ve delivered at school board meetings of a school district that opened locker rooms to opposite-sex students. I’ve attended demonstrations at athletic events of that school district, distributing flyers and holding up large signs/banners.

I boycott companies who support gender identity ideology. I’ve written to those companies to explain why I’m boycotting them, and I explain my boycotts to others. I’ve signed petitions and used social media to urge others to do the same. I’ve given an interview for a feminist radio show and written an op-ed that was recently printed in a newspaper.

I have been dogpiled on on social media. I’ve been called garbage/trash, a TERF, sh*t, a c*nt, and “the f*cking genitals police.” Someone commented on one of my posts with a picture of an anime girl pointing a gun at the viewer captioned, “SHUT THE FUCK UP TERF.” I’ve been told to STFU, and someone commented on one of my posts with a picture of super glue captioned, “Finally, a line of lipstick made exclusively for TERFs.” Someone commented on one of posts with a meme including an emoji holding a knife that read, “Why be transphobic when you can just DIE.” I was told to “die alone.” Someone told me they hoped I lost “every sponsor or scholarship [I] ever apply for.”

For objecting to male people competing in female sports, I was accused of being “mediocre,” “a terrible athlete,” and told I needed to train harder. Many people insulted the way my parents had raised me, and I was told that I shouldn’t have kids myself. I’ve been accused of having “internalized misoyogny[sic]” and of having the patriarchy “ingrained deep” in me.

Emily Kaht, Just a normal woman who’s finally had enough, USA

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Others

I am a victim of domestic abuse, I want single sex spaces to be protected

I am a victim of domestic abuse, I want single sex spaces to be protected.

I have used twitter to amplify the voices of others, and to defend my position and challenge people on their’s.

I have had some mild abuse on twitter.

Jo , domestic abuse survivor

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Others

Today a trans women came out at work. They won’t be dressing as a woman all the time as it “wouldn’t be practical in their job”.

I am primarily concerned about safety of women in single sexed spaces e.g. Refuges, toilets. Secondly I am concerned about women’s sports. Women’s sports exist to provide a level playing field and allowing trans women with women to compete distorts this level playing field. It will have a negative impact on the careers and livelihoods of women athletes which is already underfunded and under resourced compared to mens sports.

I have talked with family and friends when the topic arises but not done anything practically.

I care because just today a trans women came out at work.  However they won’t be dressing as a woman all the time as it “wouldn’t be practical in their job”.  It has made me so unaccountably angry.  Putting on femalehood like a costume and then taking it off when it isn’t practical. 

An acknowledgement that women have it worse but doing nothing about it and just taking the “good” bits.

I am concerned about consequences at work if I was to be more vocal, particularly as my twitter account is mainly used for work, but not exclusively.

I would be fired

Anna

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Healthcare

Women’s rights were hard won. They shouldn’t be dismantled as though granting them was a favour

Women’s rights were hard won. They shouldn’t be dismantled as though granting them was a favour. I’m sick of black women being used as evidence that black people are not really people. I’m personally insulted at the racist, homophobic and misogyny of most trans narrative.

How have women’s rights and needs advanced incrementally by millimetres, but trans issues are now forefront of public and private policy?

I have shared schools guidance with friends worried about the school decision to turn toilets into mixed sex areas with no consultation.

I have challenged at work (raising safeguarding implications), discussed with family and friends, donated to crowdfunding and amplified the voices of those doing the hard work on social media.

I have been warned off for flagging implications for other protected characteristics. I’ve also been accused of attacking a trans person in a private and left-politics Facebook group for providing alternative information to challenge the statement that trans people started Pride and Stonewall.

Barbarara, Sister, not Cister

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Healthcare

As a nurse I wish to safeguard children and maintain single sex wards for women

As a nurse I wish to safeguard children and maintain single sex wards for women

I have tried to discuss the issue with the Equality Diversity and inclusion lead at work.

I’ve been accused of transphobia by the aforementioned person.

Christine