Tag: single sex spaces

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Education Healthcare Parent

I was forced to speak a lie

I care because I teach and am a mother. My children had a trans pupil at school (where I worked) and without consultation the other children had their right to privacy taken away in toilets.

I was forced to speak a lie, every day, in using an incorrect pronoun, all while trying to teach pupils right from wrong. The pupil was deeply troubled but no counselling was offered, simply the ‘magic bullet’ of a new name and pronouns.

I spoke up at the time. I have met 2 MSPs, one now a cabinet minister who does not support the Scottish Government’s line , the other pretty much accused me of transphobia. I have written to my SNP MP who was rude and arrogant.

I have supported the work online of several women’s groups but I have mostly hidden who I am, afraid of losing my job for speaking truth to power.

My name was leaked from a private Facebook group so I have become ultra careful online.

Have you had any consequences? Accusations of transphobia by an MSP. Being outed as party if a feminist group. Being afraid to attend public meetings for fear for my job.

Mandy , Teacher in Scotland

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Education Healthcare

A bullying group has turned truth into lies

Sex is real. sex defines humans and mammals. it is the way laws and protections are established and maintained in our society.

Seeing these meaningful definitions being eradicated by the Trans lobby, behaving like a dictatorship, is scary.

it’s threatens and undermines our protections and freedoms. Anyone who speaks out as “concerned“ is vilified as hateful, by a bullying group that has turned truths into lies, implying they are victims when they are actually the perpetrators.

There are many dangers, allowing such a lobby, that relies on lying about the most important aspect of our lives SEX, to attack women and gain access to us and our children.

I have been emailing organisations like safeguarding hub that criticises breast binding in Africa meanwhile lottery funding is given to breast binding businesses in the UK. I have written to M&S about changing rooms. I have written to Baroness Nicholson, Liz Truss, to members of the civil service about the LGBTQ champion who is head of the Department for Education, he also has a child who is “trans”, a huge conflict of interest.

I have questioned a Labour Councillor through labour complaints for her hate speech towards women on Twitter. Labour threatened me with further action if I discussed my complaint on social media, they deemed she was not guilty of inappropriate behaviour using swearing & slurs.

I’ve had my mental health questioned. I have been called a *unt by a labour man on social media. when I complained & resigned my labour membership I was reprimanded for using bad  language when relating the names I’d been called!

I advised a group of women who were “friends” & childminders, that drag queens in Brixton library was wrong for under 5’s, & that they need parental permission as it’s political, they verbally attacked me & I had to block them from my life. These are just a few instances. My anxiety has been bad due to my fears of retaliation. I have had to ensure my name can’t be traced to my home.

AM

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Education survivor trans familiy

If we cannot name our oppression, we cannot fight it

This feels like such an important issue for me for several reasons.

I have personally experienced the ways in which trans identifying males entering female only spaces completely changes the dynamic, effectively silencing female voices, even when the purpose of the space has been designed precisely to elevate women’s voices.

I see the violence and hostility directed at women for wanting to talk about our sex based rights as yet another iteration of male aggression, entitlement and dominance. Furthermore, I can foresee the long-term consequences of allowing gender ideology to supplant biological sex as effectively undoing all of the work of the women’s movement of the last century. If we cannot name our oppression, we cannot fight it.

Initially, I started posting articles and my own opinions on this issue on social media. I have also attended several events and protests that have sought to highlight or discuss this issue. I have also attended meetings for women only with a similar purpose. I have had private discussions offline with friends and family. And finally, I chaired a meeting on the sex based rights of women and girls.

Personally, I have lost several friends over this issue, or experienced others distancing themselves from me over it. I have also had disagreements with family members.

It has been scary, as a survivor of male violence including family violence, and having ptsd symptoms associated with it, to be confronted with shouting and aggressive posturing from masked individuals at the protests and meetings I have attended.

It has made me feel incredibly ‘unsafe’. It has also been unpleasant to be accused of bigotry, transphobia or branded a terf in online spaces. Lastly, my teenage niece is talking about her desire to transition, and this has adversely affected my relationship with her, and caused deep grief and stress to herself and other members of my family at a very uncertain time.

Jo , Concerned auntie, educator and advocate for women and girls

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Parent

I am fucking exhausted

I care (deeply) because I am fucking exhausted. I’ve fought for the rights of women since I realised what those rights were at the age of 13. I am now 49 and I am still watching women being told that we do not ‘deserve’ safe spaces, equality, freedom… and still by men.

That I may have to watch this happen to my daughter too makes me feel levels of rage that cannot be described. These men may be wearing lipstick and too much nylon but they are still men and I’ve had enough.

I’ve been active on social media albeit with a pseudonym and while using a VPN because I personally know too many women who have been threatened. I also run my own business which is rooted in feminism so I routinely raise the issue there too with my customers but that is a delicate balacing act which I know could shut me down. I have to chose carefully what I say and when but I’m not stopping. I also talk about this a lot on my personal social media channels which are only accessed by friends and family. Every time I say something, wherever I say it, I have to sum up the consequences.

Have I had any consequences? God, yes.

I’ve seen plenty of threats of assault but I know that’s the last resort of a desperate ideologue so don’t take a lot of notice.

I have lost friends though, amazingly friends who until this point were committed feminists. We only diverged on feminist issues when it came to this issue and it was always my friends who decided they could not be friends with me because their support of men in skirts meant more to them than any defence of women. I have not mourned their moving on in any way but I remain staggered that they think any of this was necessary.

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Healthcare Parent

The future scandal…will be similar to that of thalidomide

I care because I believe the future scandal over the grievous lack of care for children & young adults who will have suffered permanent physical damage will be similar to that of thalidomide.

I care especially about the thousands of young girls, many of them likely to be lesbian, who have been drawn in via social media grooming, in the context of a society that renders potential female role models invisible.

I care because throughout the world women and girls are discriminated and oppressed on the basis of their sex. They cannot identify out of it. They need safe, specialised, single sex services and spaces.

I have shared & commented on gender critical articles and opinions on twitter. But not before removing all links to my political party from my bio. Not for fear for myself, as I have no political ambition, but in order not to damage by association other women. I do not post about my local party, or my activity within it. I have attended Woman’s Place meetings & posted about them.

I have raised numerous times with my political party, so far to no avail, my dismay that they no longer collect data on sex, a protected characteristic in the 2010 Equality Act. Worse, if members consult the individual data held by the Labour Party, previous data given years ago on sex has been converted without permission to ‘gender identity’, with the entirely false claim that this data has been provided to them by me. It has not!

I am regarded by most party activists as transphobic, as is anyone who speaks up for women’s sex based rights. I am retired, so have no concerns about my employer being pursued. I suspect official complaints will have been made about me.

My male partner, who has a lifetime’s working experience in child protection & investigation of historic child abuse, was called transphobic and dismissed as ‘an old white man’ for daring to mention autogynephilia in a meeting.

Red Swan, Socialist feminist, mother & grandmother

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Parent

Our personal spaces are being invaded

I first became aware if this issue when I saw reports about men in women’s sports about 9 months ago. As a sports fan I was outraged and started to look into it on Twitter,  which is how I came across Maya, self id,  Debbie Hayton etc. I had no idea! As a woman and a mother i am outraged that our rights are being disregarded, our personal spaces are being invaded and women are subject to so much violence and abuse.

Until now i have only been brave enough to discuss this within my immediate family, but as a result of seeing this, today I contacted my 25 year old niece to see how much she knows and to voice my concerns. I know she has gay and trans friends but we have had the start of a good conversation and she has asked for more articles to read.

My son refused to discuss as he has trans friends and assumed i was being transphobic.

Diane, Woman, mother

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Healthcare Parent

We…should not be gaslit by those supposed to care

This matters to me for several reasons.

I spent several years in women’s refuges with my child and realising that women and children like us, full of trauma, could be forced to accept having males as residents or staff no matter how they identify is deeply worrying and upsetting.

We need this environment to be female and children only and should not be gaslit by those supposed to care. I worry about vulnerable women in prison, in hospitals, on closed wards. I worry that women’s spaces are no longer women’s spaces and that we won’t know until it’s too late. I am deeply concerned about the huge amount of young people who now say they identify as trans and the way they are being constantly affirmed.

I have written letters, attended one meeting, distributed literature, had conversations with refuge staff, I am active on social media under an assumed name, I have spoken to some people in real life, I’ve donated to as many fundraisers as I can, translated information from Scandinavia alongside other small actions

I have been threatened and abused on Social Media and have been unable to speak in my own name through fear of doxxing. I am unable to speak about this socially as it could affect my sons education as we home educate, so since leaving refuge I have chosen to only speak to those I know share my views.

Leonora Christina

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Healthcare Parent

It is conversion therapy

I care because over the course of my life, I’ve experienced a lot of harassment from strange men, who followed, intimidated, groped, flashed and grabbed me, most of it in public. I’m therefore under no illusion that there are men who behave this way and therefore women need single-sex spaces to minimise risk of it (or worse) happening to them.

Men have physical advantage over women, and that is why sports have been segregated by sex and must remain that way.

I’m also aghast at the science-denialism that is at the core of this movement and that children are taught it at school.

I have an autistic child so know how dangerous it is to teach autistic children that they could be “born in the wrong body”. We know that brains don’t mature until we are 25 yet we allow children to make such a huge decision – it is conversion therapy.

No one who is considered an authority on child psychology  has written or researched gender identity yet now it is pushed on children by adults with the view of legitimising their own agenda.

While I believe dysphoria is real, for some men it is clearly a paraphilia.

What have you done? Mainly donated and discussed it anonymously online, and with a couple of trusted friends. I’m on some kind of Terfblocker, but because I’m careful under my own name, I have so far avoided anything worse

Lizzie Strata

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Parent

It feels dehumanising and mysogynistic

I care about these issues as a woman, and mother of a daughter. Female only spaces, protections and boundaries should be preserved – and it should be based on biological sex rather than gender identity.

I believe my daughter and I have the right to change in an area accessible to natal females only, use female only toilets, and be on a female only hospital ward.

She should not have to give up her space on a girls sports team, girls school or any other space reserved for females, to a male. And this goes for all women and girls.

I have discussed anonymously on social media, and with (trusted) friends and family in real life. I do fear speaking out in my own name, as I have witnessed the unbelievable abuse that numerous other women have been subjected to after speaking out.

Some abuse on social media – which even when posting anonymously is distressing. I’ve been called a “TERF,” a nazi, a cunt, amongst other things… I’ve been told I want trans people “to die” – just by speaking up and saying biological women matter.

I was sent private messages: “Liar Liar, cunts on fire” – It feels dehumanising and misogynistic.

Sabrina, Woman, daughter, mother

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Parent

If you can’t talk about women, sexism cannot be stopped

If you can’t talk about women, sexism cannot be stopped.

The existence of single sex spaces is for a reason, mostly safety, and as long as the reason for them exists, so should they.

I am concerned because I don’t want my gender non-conforming child to be told he is in the ‘wrong’ body, I just want him to dress and act as he likes as himself.

What do i do? I ‘like’ as much as I can that I agree with, so that support becomes more evident and let people know that I share their beliefs.

No one should feel like a lone voice just because many gender critical people are scared of the threats they know they will receive.

Also I have begun challenging people in online spaces, presenting my side of things and emphasising that women should be free to talk.

Any consequences? Not yet. But I only got brave a day ago. Personally I give it about a week. However, I have been blocked by politicians and women’s representatives for FOLLOWING the ‘wrong’ accounts.

Femineminism, Fed up feminist who believes in observable reality